Giving Up the Heart
by dark rolling sea
Summary: Kibbs....Gibbs has a secret that Kate doesn't know. He should tell her but he can't seem to bring himself to do the deed...Part XXV up...a daughters curiosity.
1. Part I: Giving Up the Heart

**Disclaimer: NCIS and everything associated with it does not belong to me nor do I make money from these little spins I take the crew on. Oh I barrowed lyrics from a song I don't own either.**

**AN: So I was listening to a the song Give it to A Good Man (written by D. Steen) sung by Tonic Sol-fa and this little story popped into my head and I wrote it down for your enjoyment. Ok read on. dark rolling sea.

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Giving up the Heart

Kate had a sparkle in her eyes; the one Gibbs loved to see. This time though he was not happy to see it. He knew why that sparkle was in her eyes, she had been talking about the reason for three weeks straight now, the sparkle always there. Gibbs had pretended not to eavesdrop on her and Tony's bantering but for some reason this time Gibbs was drawn into what she was saying.

Tony's constant teasing was not enough to deter Kate Todd. Gibbs noticed that she continued to smile no matter how much chiding Tony threw at her. She had met someone new. That was the bottom line and she was happy. Gibbs noticed as the weeks numbered on that more and more of Kate's comments were backed by the sparkle in her eyes. That dreamy look he wished was pointed at him.

He knew that was ridicules. He was so much older than her, he was her boss, and he was a grumpy bastard. He knew that there was no chance she would return what had blossomed in his heart, so he hid it. He pushed it into that box he kept for all the other emotions he didn't want to deal with. Hiding them in the darkness, making them disappear.

Though if he would just admit it, those feelings for Kate he pushed into the box…never stayed there. They always escaped somehow and reappeared in his head. It could be a scent, a picture, and sound. Anything he noticed could trigger the release of them and then he had to fight them so they didn't emerge on his face. Sometimes he failed, sometimes they escaped and he smiled or his eyes lit up, but he would quickly confront the feelings, forcing them back to their place in the box.

There was no point in dwelling on them, they were an infatuation he told himself, he wasn't necessarily in love with her, she just fascinated him, a different creature with unusual antics. She didn't shy away from his gruff exterior; on the contrary she challenged it. She challenged him on his ways, his actions, and his motives. He loved the days when she would confront him, make him think, react, and respond.

But now he knew she was headed for disaster. He told himself he didn't know what compelled him to do it, but that was a lie. He knew in his heart why he did it but now he couldn't bring himself to tell her what he did. It was an invasion of her privacy, it was something he should have left alone, but he hated to see her heart broken. He had checked up on one Brian Richards. As soon as she said his name Gibbs knew what he would do.

He fought the urge for awhile, debating in his head if he should invade her privacy, but his heart got the better of him. If she was going to give up her heart, he better be a good man. So Gibbs had a checked on Brian. Once it was done…he wished he hadn't. He wished now he didn't know what he had found out, it made it all that more difficult to watch that sparkle in her eyes, the joy in her voice, the happiness she exhibited.

Gibbs was listening in now, as Kate told Tony and McGee she had plans for the night. His eyes came up quickly catching the dreamy look in her eyes, before he ducked his head, hiding his disproval. The day was nearing an end and McGee bailed down to Abby's lab and Tony scrammed as soon as he was able too, leaving Kate and Gibbs in the bullpen on their own. Gibbs looked up contemplating if he should tell Kate what he found out, not knowing how she'd react.

He knew she deserved to know, but he couldn't bring himself to admit his invasion into her private life, but more so the fact she would want a reason for his doing so. He couldn't give it to her; he couldn't admit it to her. It would change everything. No he would go home, work on his boat, and brood over his secret knowledge. One day she would come in, the starry look in her eyes gone, replaced with hurt and pain, the bounce in her step would be gone, and the joy in her voice would disappear. He knew it was inevitable but he couldn't bring himself to do it to her.

So instead he watched her from his desk. He then knew he had to leave or he would tell her everything, the urge growing in his mind, his heart. Things wouldn't work out though, his brain new this, there was just too much to get in the way. He had too much baggage, and besides she didn't return the feeling. He would not open his own heart to that kind of rejection, not from Kate Todd. He wouldn't be able to handle that.

He stood and shrugged his coat over his shoulders. He needed coffee and fresh air, a good walk down the street would help clear his mind, or confuse him more. Either way it got him away from Kate. He was passing her desk when he paused. She slowly drew her attention up to him, wondering why he was standing there.

His face was downcast as he studied the carpet. His right knuckles gently tapping on the side of her desk, making a calming rhythm for him. Kate waited, expecting him to speak. He said nothing just continued to stand there, tapping his knuckles, contemplating. Kate could tell he was in thought. She tilted her head slightly.

"Something on your mind, Gibbs?" she asked softly. It was enough to draw him from his reverie, to make him lock eyes with her. He quickly buttoned down the hatches on his emotions. Kate looked into emotionless blue eyes, making her feel slightly uncomfortable. She sat back a little in her chair to put a little more distance between them. He closed his eyes briefly before shaking his head slowly. He moved towards the elevator.

Kate followed him with her eyes wondering what that was all about. She knew there was something on his mind, something bothering him, so she got up and headed after him. He was waiting on the elevator when she came up behind him. She touched him gently on the back causing him to look at her over his shoulder. She questioned him with her eyes before she spoke.

"What is it?" she asked truly concerned over his current mood. He smiled softly at her, knowing that she didn't really want to know what was wrong, that he truly couldn't tell her what he thought he needed too.

"You should go, Kate, you'll be late for you date if you don't leave soon," Gibbs said as he wished the elevator would hurry. He felt his heart quickening and his palms were clammy. He wanted to tell her everything but knew he couldn't for fear of rejection.

"Didn't know you were concerned. I'll leave when my report is finished, shouldn't be too long," Kate said slightly confused and then turned and headed back towards her desk. Gibbs turned watching her walk away, wishing she was going with him. Wishing she would be by his side forever.

"So long as you know what you're doing," Gibbs said without thinking. He closed his eyes as he knew that would gain her attention and bring more questions. Questions he didn't know if he wanted to answer, or if he could at all. Kate stopped in her tracks. She paused staring at her desk before slowly turning back towards Gibbs. He was standing sideways now so he could avoid her eyes but could still watch her.

"What does that mean?" Kate asked accusatory. Gibbs cringed internally at the harshness in her voice. He didn't mean to upset her, to anger her, or even intrigue her. He never should have said anything, he was free and clear, then his statement reeled her back in. He knew it was his inability to let her go even though he knew it would never be more.

"I just hope you know what you're doing is all. I've seen the look in your eyes these last couple weeks," he said still avoiding looking at her. He noticed her tilting her head to the side, contemplating what he had said, trying to read into his tone and meaning. He closed his eyes wishing the elevator to hurry.

"Brian is a wonderful man," Kate said flatly and Gibbs felt his stomach turn. He knew the truth and she didn't, but soon enough her opinion of that man would change and he knew the pain and anger she would feel.

"Maybe, maybe not," Gibbs said slowly before looking at her, feeling his courage come up a little. "If you're going to give your heart away, Kate, just make sure it's to a good man. And make sure you can give it all that you can."

Kate was stunned by this revelation from Gibbs. She studied his eyes and he let her, noticing something more in there that she hadn't seen. She wondered what all this meant, and why Gibbs would say something of that magnitude to her. She stepped closer to him and watched as his breathing increased slightly. Something was definitely different with Gibbs today. She stared at him begging for him to clarify what he meant; she wanted to understand his message.

"You don't know this stranger Brian from the man in the moon," Gibbs said looking at his feet. "You're just hungering for affection, just because he shows you kindness you're love is blind."

Kate stared in awe as Gibbs spoke to her, she had no idea he felt this way, and didn't know exactly what he was getting at. He was trying to tell her something and her heart skipped at the possibility of what it all could mean, but she knew that was impossible, there would never be more with him, ever.

"What do you suggest, Gibbs?" she asked as the elevator dinged and the doors slid open. Gibbs looked at her quickly one last time, masking the emotions of his heart and turmoil of his mind, before stepping into the car. She stared at him expectantly as he avoided her last question. Finally he looked up at her, his shoulders gently rising and slowly falling before he answered her.

"Just if you're going give up your heart, give it to a good man," He said as the doors started to close. Kate stared at him in awe as she filtered his words through her brain. The doors were almost closed and Gibbs had looked down at his feet when he spoke again. "Someone like me," he mumbled, and then the doors were closed.

Kate knew he had said something more in the elevator before the doors had closed but she didn't understand what it was. She was shocked that he had told her all this. Her brain was frozen as she tried to comprehend what had happened, but then she realized she needed to finish her report if she was going to make it to her date with Brian on time.

Gibbs got off the elevator and walked to the coffee shop but he knew he couldn't return to the office tonight. His brain was overflowing now with thoughts, feelings, and turmoil. He had let the emotions out of the box now, opened it just enough for more than one to escape and he couldn't corral them. He was angry at himself for allowing it, mad at Brian for hurting Kate, sad that Kate would endure the pain that was to come, and ashamed he knew and didn't tell her.

He went home and straight down the stairs to his basement. He took his frustration, anger, and sorrow out on the skeleton that would one day sail on the water. He resisted the urge to continually check the clock, to think what she was doing right now, and with whom. He tried desperately to force her from his mind but it didn't work.

Eventually he stopped pushing himself and laid down in the frame work of the boat staring at the ceiling wondering when it all went wrong. Wondering why this one was different, why he couldn't remove her from his thoughts, ignore the physical attraction when he was near her, and ban the emotional attachment that had grown between them.

Kate finished her report, laying it on Gibbs desk with their conversation running through her mind, wondering what he was trying to tell her. He was in her mind now, and would probably be there for the rest of the evening, but she hustled home to change. She went to meet Brian, and they shared a dinner with laughter. There was a strong attraction between them, but Kate noticed Gibbs was still there in her mind, never quite going away, his words echoing in her ears.

They were nearing the end of dinner, rain had started to fall outside, and Kate felt content. Brian paid the bill and they were sitting, sipping coffee, talking, when someone entered the restaurant. Kate barely registered the other woman as she looked around, searching for someone, her attention still on Brian.

Kate was more than a little shocked when the woman walked up to their table and stopped, glaring at Brian. Kate looked up at her before her eyes traveled back to Brian who had a shocked look on his own face. He glanced at Kate with apologetic eyes and the woman began to speak.

"So you're Kate," the woman said, her voice strained, the tears holding in her eyes. Kate looked up at her nodding slowly wondering what this was about. "I hoped it was a lie, Brian, that he was kidding me."

"What's going on?" Kate asked suddenly feeling the nausea start in her stomach. Something was definitely wrong. Brian looked like a kid who had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar and Kate felt the anger boil in her blood.

"I'm sorry, Kate," Brian said looking down at the table, avoiding both women. Kate looked up at the stranger with questioning eyes, finally starting to put two and two together.

"He's my husband," the other woman said softly, and Kate felt like crawling in a hole. It was then that Gibbs' words came back to her, was this what he was trying to warn her about?

"Oh my, God," Kate said as she pulled the napkin from her lap closing her eyes struggling to maintain her composure. "You're married?" she asked with venom in her voice as she stood from the table. Brian stood as well with his hands out looking around the restaurant.

"For seven years," the other woman said the tears falling from her eyes now. Kate looked from the woman to Brian, her eyes conveying the hurt and anger she was feeling. Kate took a deep shuddering breath to calm herself, finding it did nothing as the tears threatened to take over. Her mind was reeling as if slapped and she couldn't slow it down.

"I'm sorry," Kate said to the other woman with sincerity. "I had no idea."

The woman simply nodded that she had heard, but it didn't help to stop the ache and Kate knew that it was a feeble attempt to make amends. Kate left then, without another word as Brian and his wife stared at each other. As soon as she was out in the rain the tears cascaded down her face as the emotional tidal wave enveloped her being. Her thoughts were scrambled and jumbled as she walked to her car in the pouring rain. She was soaked to the bone when she reached the vehicle but she didn't notice it. She yanked the door open and drove away. She didn't know where she was going, just letting the vehicle lead the way.

She realized who she was running to when she pulled into his driveway. The lights upstairs were off and she felt her heart sink thinking he wasn't home, but she saw his car in the driveway. She got out into the rain again but couldn't bring herself to go to the door.

She wondered why of all people she had come here, to a place where she couldn't get in return the love she knew she harbored. She didn't understand why she couldn't forget about her grumpy boss, why his silver hair appealed to her so much, why the age difference meant nothing to her.

Kate stood in the rain, letting the water soak her, and carry her tears away as she stared at his house. What did she expect from going in there, had his words earlier meant something more? And what had she missed when the doors had closed on them? Her entire body ached as her heart was broken, she longed to be in the embrace of a man she didn't think wouldn't return the feelings she had for him.

Gibbs heard a car pull in as he lay on his back under the boat. He figured he would hear a knock on the door soon, but nothing happened. He sat up slowly wondering why they hadn't come to the door, he was sure he heard them get out of the vehicle. He climbed from under the boat and made his way to the basement steps after a while to investigate.

He looked out the front window and saw Kate standing in the rain staring at his front door. His heart sank, she knew. She had found out and she had come to him. Was it to accuse him of knowing and not telling her? Or was it because it was the one place she wanted to run to when she was hurt? He couldn't force the emotions down this time and a part of him was glad he didn't.

He opened his front door and stood in the jamb watching her. She looked up at him with pleading eyes and his heart shattered. There was more in that look than a broken hearted woman; there was a longing, a pleading, and the one thing he never expected. He saw love staring up at him.

He walked out into the rain quickly, stopping on the porch as she stood on the bottom step. They were quiet as the rain hummed and pounded around them. Finally Kate stepped up the stairs moving quickly towards him. His arms expanded and then closed around her as she buried her face in his chest. He led her into his house as she cried into him, soaking him. He didn't mind.

They sat on the couch with her crying into his chest as he consoled her, softly rubbing her back and clamping her tightly to him. He closed his eyes as he fought his own tears, wishing he could eliminate her fear and pain. It was a long time before she was quite and had stopped shaking from crying. She was simply shivering now. Gibbs stood from the couch and Kate wondered why he had left her, but he returned quickly with a blanket. He draped it around her before sliding back into place. She smiled weakly up at him.

"You knew," she said simply and Gibbs knew what she was talking about. He closed his eyes, his chin dropping to his chest. Finally he looked back up at her.

"Yes," Gibbs said.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asked the pain evident in her voice.

"You would have been mad at me," he said simply, the thought crazy in his head now.

"How did you know?" she asked slowly. He licked his lips as he stared at her.

"I…I checked him out after you said his name," Gibbs said, a slight redness creeping into his face as he felt ashamed. Kate reached out and touched his face, drawing his eyes back to hers.

"You should have told me," she whispered.

"I'm sorry," he said. Kate wasn't expecting an apology and could only nod after. She took a deep breath before continuing.

"What did you mean tonight when you left the office?" she asked as her hand lingered on his face. Gibbs could feel the love in the touch and his heart started to beat faster as his earlier thoughts of her never returning his affection started to dissipate.

"Just what I said," he replied in a whisper, his voice almost unwilling to work. He stared her in the eye and let her see the emotion that was usually masked. A small smile spread over her face.

"What did you say when the doors closed?" she asked him. "You had said if I give up my heart I should give it to a good man, then you said something more but I didn't hear you…what was it?"

Gibbs felt himself tighten with anticipation and fear as he mulled her question over. He wanted desperately to tell her what it was that he said, but he was afraid that all this was just her hurting over finding out the truth of Brian. He looked away from her. He felt one of her hands come to rest over his heart, the contact igniting his passion for her; the other one of her hands gently came into contact with his face. He turned to look at her again, his hand coming up to the one on his heart, squeezing it before he closed his eyes.

"I said someone like me," he whispered, his eyes still closed. There was silence and he couldn't bring himself to open his eyes. He was shocked when he felt her lips gently come into contact with his. They paused, each savoring the feeling of the other for the first time, before they started to move, exploring and searching. There was a level of passion that Kate had never experienced, as he gently probed her mouth with his own. For Gibbs it was a dream come true. The first kiss came to an end and Gibbs pulled back finally opening his eyes.

"That a proposition?" Kate asked softly as she longed to feel his lips on hers again. Gibbs smiled, his eyes sparkling.

"I never thought you felt this way," he said. "I never thought you could go for a guy like me."

"Why?"

"I'm too old, too grumpy. I'm a bastard," Gibbs said with a short laugh. Kate leaned in and kissed him a second time, gently letting him know that there was more to come before she pulled back.

"Let me decide if you're too old, or grumpy," Kate replied.

"What about the bastard part?" Gibbs asked.

"We've already decided on that one," she replied with a smile. "But what about your rule never date a co-worker?"

"Sometimes chances come along that you have to take, and sometimes happiness comes before rules," he replied softly. Kate could only smile up at him, knowing that he meant every word of it.

The End.

**AN: Hope you enjoyed it. Tell me what you thought!**


	2. Part II: Second Thoughts

**Disclaimer on Part I**

**AN: ok so this whole thing was supposed to be a one shot but eh like my friend says...i can't write anything small...so this part II was floating around in my brain and I wrote it down for your enjoyment. There will most likely be a few more installments in this series and instead of posting them all as 'new' I'm just going to add 'chapters' to this one...alrighty enjoy, and let me know what you thought. dark rolling sea.

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Part II: Second Thoughts**

Kate awoke in the midmorning dark hours. She opened her eyes to find a sleeping Gibbs, arms wrapped tightly around her, holding her snuggly to his chest. His face expressed peaceful features as his slumber continued. She studied him a while, not knowing what to think of her current situation. She had continued to shiver against him earlier in the night, after professing their true inner feelings for each other. He had eventually brought her dry clothes, sweatpants and a sweatshirt she assumed was his.

She had changed into the dry clothing and then joined him on his bed. He had encased her with his arms almost immediately as they drifted into a sleep. No words had been exchanged, as they both enjoyed the moment that had been bestowed upon them. Of course now as she stared into his sleeping face, she wondered when he would break her heart.

It wasn't something she wanted to happen, it was something she was sure was going to happen. It pained her that he could actually return the desire and love she harbored for him, but she knew he would eventually drive her away, unable to fully open himself to her, unable to fully express the love he held in his heart.

She slowly started to extract herself from his grasp. Gibbs groaned softly in his sleep and tightened his hold on her, pulling Kate closer to his chest. Kate smiled at the gesture and waited a few moments before she tried a second time to remove her body from his grip. This time Kate managed to release his arms from around her and she softly slid herself from the bed.

Her feet led her out of the bedroom as she felt tears coming to her eyes. This should be the happiest moment in her life, being with the man she thought was not possible, lying with the man she had wanted for so long, but the never ending fear of pain dragged her mind down a road she could not ignore. How long could it possibly last, she asked herself with a heavy heart.

He was older, much older than her. He was set in his way. He was a self proclaimed bastard. But these were things she had fallen in love with. She knew this when her heart went out to him, and grew more fond of the longer she was by his side. The fact remained he was emotionally closed off, a part of him that he used to protect himself from unnecessary harm, a defense to keep his life in order.

Kate knew tonight was a large step for him, first at the office, to tell her to give her heart to a good man, and second to tell her to give it to someone like him. Thirdly he admitted to her that he returned those feelings that she thought were only in her own heart. A huge progression on the emotional track, but Kate wondered if it would last, if he could truly open himself for a relationship with her.

Gibbs had his rules that dictated his life. They guided his decisions, his thoughts, and his actions. It was what he lived by, a code of sorts. Could he truly break his rules to be with her? It was a question she could not answer and that scared her. To open herself up to a relationship with him was an enormous risk to her heart and her well being. She would be in line for the happiest moment, but on the other hand he could shatter her entire ideal of life.

Kate felt the tears escaping from her eyes and strolling lightly down her cheeks and she made no effort to stop them. Instead of enjoying the moment of being with Gibbs her mind was plaguing her with what if scenarios. She was killing the relationship before it even blossomed off the ground, and she was doing it without his help, another reason she feared to explore this new found love.

She found herself in his living room, staring at nothing. The room was neat, lightly decorated, with comfortable furniture. She sat down on the couch were they had been earlier in the evening and leaned her back against the arm rest. She pulled her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, laying her chin gently against the caps.

She could smell his scent on the clothes she was wearing and it made her heart ache more. She wanted nothing more than to go up and tangled herself back into his arms and sleep the night away, but the demons continued to persist in her mind. There was no turning back she thought. She grew angry with herself for coming to him, for running to him in the first place. It had been impulse, she hadn't consciously set out for his house after the disaster at the restaurant but her car seemed to know the way.

She wished she had run to Abby or Ducky, or even Tony or McGee, but no she had chosen Gibbs. Maybe it had to do with what he had said at the office before he left, or maybe it was because she was hurting and knew she could find comfort from him. He had known. She knew that when she left the restaurant, there earlier conversation finally making sense to her. She needed to know why, so her heart brought her here.

But to what end. She knew this was impossible. He was her boss, he was Gibbs. A man who hardly ever showed emotion would not be suitable Kate thought to herself. He would drive her insane, he would make her crazy, and he would eventually break her heart. She made a decision to tell him in the morning. She would leave. She would find a new job, and make a fresh start in a new city. If it meant leaving the government that was ok with her, she would go into law enforcement on another level.

The tears continued to fall as she made these life changing decisions. Part of her knew it was for the best, but another part of her wanted nothing more than to stay in this house, with this man, forever. She would have to completely walk away from the true feelings in her heart, hoping against hope that those feelings would vanish over time.

He had warned her about Brian in his own way and now she wondered why he would do so. She knew it was because he hid his love for her, but what caused him to step forward now? She had dated other men, and talked about them in the office before, without a single utterance from Gibbs. But this time for some reason he had intervened. Maybe he had checked the others out too but found nothing detrimental to warn her about. It was possible.

It was then that Brian's wife's words came back to her in memory, as the event replayed itself in great detail from her mind. She had hoped what _he _had said was a sick joke. Kate started to wonder who had tipped Mrs. Richards off that her husband had been having an affair. The thought that Gibbs had known prior to her date, and Mrs. Richards showed up on the same night was starting to fester an idea in Kate's mind.

Had Gibbs told Mrs. Richards? It was something she needed to know. Was it him that tipped the wife off, essentially ending an affair Kate didn't know she was a part of? He had tried to warn her, but couldn't seem to bring himself to tell her what his warning was about, but he had tried to warn her. She wondered if he knew what was going to happen on her date that night and why he hadn't stopped her from going.

Her mind progressed then, did he know she would come to him? Was he planning on her showing up on his doorstep? As she thought back to him opening the door she knew the surprise on his face was genuine shock to see her. It was a good chance he had not expected her to show up, hence his openness with her after he brought her inside.

A creak on the stairs behind her caused her to leave her reverie, turning slightly so she could watch the bottom on the steps. They groaned softly under his weight as Gibbs made his way slowly down. He stopped on the bottom step, his hand gripping the banister searching for Kate. His eyes landed on her form sitting on the couch and stopped, causing Kate to hold her breath.

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Gibbs was dreaming, and it wasn't a nightmare, a rarity for him to say the least. Then the warmth was gone and his body slowly came out of slumber. His brain recounted his evening and he began to wonder if it all had simply been a dream. He was alone in his bed, maybe Kate hadn't come to him after she learned the truth of her new found love. But then her smell assaulted his senses and he knew she had been in his bed. Her scent was on the pillows, the blankets, on him.

He looked around the room and didn't spot her so he tried the bathroom next. Gibbs found nothing there. He moved down the hallway slowly, heading towards the stairs. He felt his gut tighten as scenarios scrolled through his head. He feared she had left, simply changed her mind, realized she made a mistake earlier and left him cold. His heart quickened and he felt a headache start in his temples.

He had exposed himself tonight he knew that, he had set himself up for heart break at the hands of Kate. Something he had promised himself not to do, but a promise he was unable to keep. His movements slowed even more as he reached the stairs. She had to be on the bottom level his mind told him gently. She wouldn't leave you like that, not after tonight, but part of him didn't truly believe that.

He took each step slowly, examining the emotions running through him. His breathing was increasing with the stress and tension of the situation and his heart was beating wildly in his chest. It was, to say the least, a new experience for him. He finally came to the bottom step and stopped, gripping the banister tightly for support. His gazed scanned the room, finally landing on Kate, sitting quietly on his couch. Her posture screamed defensive and he noticed, even in the absence of light, her face seemed slightly swollen as if she had been crying. His heart sank, something was wrong.

He couldn't force himself to move from the bottom step. His feet seemed to plant themselves to the floor; it was all crashing down around him as he watched her look away from him. Fear enveloped his entire being as he knew she was changing her mind. She had made a mistake, and she was going to walk away from him.

He fought the bitterness of tears down swallowing hard to control the lump in his throat. He clenched his eyes tightly for a moment before opening them again and forcing his feet to move. He slowly came up to her and stood behind the couch, standing over her, looking down.

"Kate," he said in a low whisper, his voice full of stress and tension. It was halfway between a statement and a question. He didn't know which he meant and from her reaction neither did she. She looked up at him with confusion and pain in her eyes and he took a shaky breath.

She was silent for a long time, and the minutes seemed like days to Gibbs as he waited for her to say something, anything to him. But instead she sat there mute, staring at him with such sadness that he felt like vomiting. He turned away. He felt her hand gently graze his as it rested on the couch back, drawing his eyes to look at the connection.

"What's wrong?" he asked still looking at her hand gently caressing his own.

"I'm sorry," she said softly, her tears still slipping from her eyes. He closed his own and bit his lower lip, knowing what was coming. "I don't think I can do this."

"Why?" he asked the pain evident in his voice as his eyes remained clenched. His hand withdrew from the couch, pulling away from her touch. She dropped her own into her lap and turned so her back was to him.

"I made…"

"Please don't say a mistake," Gibbs pleaded, his voice sounding alien to him. He had never felt about or needed anyone like he did Kate. Even if she was off limits, he needed her in his life. Kate ducked her head, leaning her forehead against her raised knees.

"This can't work, Gibbs, it just can't," she said, her words muffled by her legs. "You can't promise me that you'll be open with me."

Gibbs thought about her words and knew she was probably right. His current façade he wore wouldn't allow himself to be openly honest with Kate. But he also knew he would fight hard to change that. If it meant the difference between heaven and heartache, he would try.

"I said it earlier, Katie, if you're going to give up your heart, make sure you give it to a good man. I told you someone like me, but you have to make that decision on your own," Gibbs began in a slow soft voice.

"You are a good man," Kate replied looking up at him. He opened his eyes and nodded slowly.

"Don't fall just because someone shows you kindness, and wonder why love is blind, but by God I hate to see you cry," he said as he reached out and gently stroked her face, wiping the tear tracks with his thumb. "Don't lose your sense of pride, Kate, all the years you've lost, all the tears you've cried. You deserve happiness, and if you don't think you can find it in me, give your heart to a good man."

"Can I find it with you?" she asked holding in her breath as she searched his face. The openness in his eyes was astonishing for her to see. He was putting his heart on his sleeve, putting it out there for her to take or break.

"I have no guarantees. I'm a lot older than you, I'm stuck in my ways, I'm a self proclaimed bastard, but I do love you, Kate, and I have for quite sometime now. I try, I try so hard to push those feelings into the dark corners of my heart and mind, but for some reasons, they won't stay," Gibbs said coming around the couch and sitting down next to Kate. He took her hand gently into his and squeezed it.

"Will you be able to be open with me?" Kate asked. Gibbs studied her face not sure what she meant. Kate read the uncertainty in his eyes and looked down for a moment, trying to recompose her question for him. "I mean, can you promise to not shut me out? Drive me away by closing down when I need you most?"

"I know you're worried about me breaking your heart, Kate," Gibbs said softly, kissing her hand as he paused. "And honestly I'm worried about it too. And I know I have rules that dictate my life, and this is a major breaking, but sometimes you have to trust your gut."

Kate nodded slowly, soaking up what he had told her. The emotion running through his eyes was telling her he was willing to give it a try. She closed her eyes and pursed her lips as she thought about her options. She was split in wanting to explore where this could lead, and how this could end.

Finally she opened her eyes and looked at him. The turmoil was gone and she smiled at him with passion as she leaned in close to him. They were mere inches apart when she stopped and spoke. "I give it to you," she said before closing the remaining gap between them and kissing him.


	3. Part III: Getting Used To It

**Disclaimer on Part I. **

**AN: Here you go..part III. more probly to come...but I hope you enjoy this little piece. all right have at it. dark rolling sea.

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**

Part III: Getting Used To It

Kate woke as the sun warmed her. She slowly opened her eyes, wondering if everything she remembered was real, or simply a dream. It was then that she realized this was not her bed, nor her room. She ran her hand along the blanket that was thrown over her and gently turned her head. She was alone in the bed, so she slowly sat up, scanning the room briefly.

There was no one in the room with her. She sat silently for a moment, leaning on her arm before coming to a full sitting position. She yawned and then stretched contemplating what to do next. The urge to use bathroom hit her with force as she tossed the blanket to the side.

After relieving herself she stared at her reflection in the mirror over the sink. It was then that the smells of breakfast started to assault her nose. She smiled at herself before pushing away from the counter and walking out towards the stairwell. She slowly made her way down into the lower level, quietly making her way towards the kitchen.

She stopped in the doorway and leaned against the jamb. A smile spread slowly across her features as she watched Gibbs cooking unaware that he was being watched. She pushed with her shoulder and stood upright, slowly coming across the floor, stopping just behind him. He was smiling now, feeling her presence.

He reached around blindly behind grasping for a piece of her, but she kept herself just out of his reach. He stopped what he was doing and slowly turned, leaning against the sink front, with his hands gripping the counter at his hips. Kate watched his eyes for a moment before she stepped closer to him.

"Good morning," he said softly, his eyes roaming over her. She shyly smiled, knowing she looked a mess. He reached out and dropped his hands softly onto her shoulders, letting his fingers rest idly. She tilted her head to the side slowly as a soft smile crossed her lips.

"Smells good," she said closing her eyes and inhaling the aroma of the room. Gibbs stepped closer, pulling her to him, placing his lips right next to her ear.

"Well I did take a shower this morning," he whispered to her. Kate couldn't suppress the laugh that escaped as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "Oh were you talking about the food?"

"Hmmm, the food smells good too," Kate quipped back at him. A grin spread widely over Gibbs' features as he pulled back from her to turn to the stove again. Kate slid in next to him lifting herself up to sit on the counter next to the sink, watching him finish with the food.

"What?" he asked after a long period of silence. He glanced up at her before returning his attention to the task in front of him. He took the pan containing the scrambled eggs and walked towards the table with them. Kate gently slid off the counter and followed him. He sat down while Kate took the seat next to him. He was still waiting her answer and looked at her expectantly.

"This," she said looking down briefly before she smiled up at him. He was confused by her answer, showing it on his face as an eyebrow arched.

"This?"

"Yes, this," she said waving a hand around signifying the entire room. Gibbs leaned forward on the table and took her other hand in his, bringing it slowly up to his lips, before softly kissing it.

"And what about this?" he asked as he held her hand in his. The smile on her face expanded and she tilted her head to the side slightly as she thought about her answer to him.

"Hmmm, it's nice," she replied softly. Gibbs nodded slowly letting their hands drop to the table, but not releasing her. They captured each other's gaze and neither was willing to break the spell. It was a full minute before Gibbs shook his head slightly and looked at the pan of eggs in the middle of the table.

"Food's getting cold," he said with a smile as Kate took her hand back. Gibbs reached out and spooned a helping onto Kate's plate before he filled his own. They ate in companionable silence. When both plates were empty Gibbs reached over and took Kate's from in front of her and placed both in the sink along with the pan. He turned around and leaned against the front edge of the sink with his arms crossed in front of him and stared at Kate.

Kate pushed her self away from the table and stood, hesitating for only a brief second before she slowly made her way across the linoleum flooring to him. Her eyes never left his, conveying her thoughts to him. He subconsciously licked at his lips as she neared him, watching as she stopped clearly inside his own personal space. His lips curled upwards in a satisfied smile as she paused.

"Mmmm," Gibbs mumbled as he reached out and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. She leaned into his touch, closing her eyes. Gibbs took the opportunity to lean forward grazing his lips over hers, causing her to jump slightly before responding to his touch.

When the kiss was done they pulled back slightly to look at each other. Gibbs smiled and closed his eyes wondering what he did right to deserve this. Kate leaned her head on his shoulder, nestling her forehead against his neck. Gibbs' wrapped his arms tightly around her as he started to sway back and forth gently.

Kate settled into him, letting him sooth her fears, wash away her worries. They were quiet for a long time, neither knowing how much time had passed. Gibbs sighed contentedly as he run his hands randomly over her back, a question burning his mind, begging to be asked, unsure if he should break the silence.

"What?" she asked quietly, her head still against his shoulder and neck. Gibbs couldn't help the smile that crept slowly over his face. She was perceptive.

"I was wondering if there were still doubts?" he asked softly placing a kiss against the top of her head. Kate thought a moment before she moved her head enough that she could look at him before a smile spread evenly across her features, lighting up her eyes, inviting that sparkle that he enjoyed so much to return. Kate searched his eyes before she laid her head back against his shoulder.

"No," she said confidently. Gibbs smiled.

"Good, because I could get used to this," he whispered as he kissed the top of her head once again.


	4. Part IV: Tired of Fighting It

**Disclaimer on Part I.**

**AN: Hey hey, part IV for your enjoyment. This one really wrote itself so I'm pretty happy with it...no forcing or anything. All right tell me what you think!and there will be more...Part V they deal with Monday morning at the office... dark rolling sea.

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Part IV: Tired of Fighting It**

Gibbs came up the basement steps turning the lights off before shutting the door. He looked around his living room and didn't see Kate so he then went up the stairs. The second floor was also empty. He began to wonder where she had gotten to; he didn't think she would have left without saying something to him.

He had worked on his boat for the last couple hours. Kate had watched at first but soon she had silently made her way up the stairs. He had let her go, knowing she was still in a little bit of turmoil over what had happened Friday night.

He came back down the stairs and searched the lower level once again, finding nothing. He began to worry, not knowing where she had gone; he glanced out the front window and saw her car still in the driveway. His stomach knotted now, where did she get too?

He was about to move away from the window when something caught his eye off to the side on his porch. He turned enough to see and noticed Kate standing along the railing of his porch hugging herself tightly to fight off the chill of the air. He watched her a moment, marveling in the fact that she was here with him, before he grabbed his jacket from the hook next to the door.

He opened the door and stepped out, the cold hitting him in the face like a slap. He shivered slightly before stepping up behind Kate and draping the jacket over her shoulders. She seemed to jump slightly at his touch and he stopped. He waited for her to say something but she remained quiet, intently staring up at the moon in the sky.

"You ok?" Gibbs asked softly, leaning his chin on her shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her hips. She leaned back against him and closed her eyes, enjoying the proximity of their bodies once again. It was Sunday night and Kate had only been home once to grab a bag of clothes.

They had spent the weekend just being in each others' company, sleeping in each others' arms. A lot of talking had transpired as they felt their conformability levels soften around each other. The more time she spent there the more she felt herself sinking deeper into his grasp, feeling that she was falling hard for a man she knew she shouldn't.

Gibbs was growing nervous, as she still didn't answer him. He kissed her neck gently before he turned her around to face him. She still had her eyes closed, avoiding him. He reached up and slowly stroked her hair, waiting. Nothing came and he finally took a deep breath and let his hands drop to his side.

"No," she finally whispered as her eyes opened. He could see she was holding back the tears and it made him ache inside. He reached out and gripped her shoulder pulling her tightly to his chest as his arms wrapped around her. He rubbed a hand up and down her back as she pressed her forehead to his shoulder.

"What's wrong?" he asked calmly.

"There's been something on my mind since Friday, Gibbs," she said pulling away from him a little. After a moments pause he took a couple steps back and sat down on one of the chairs. He looked up at her with a small smile on his face.

"Yeah me too," Gibbs said knowing that they were in completely different ballparks. Kate looked down taking a deep breath and slowly letting it out. The smile disappeared from Gibbs face as his arms came across his chest. "What is it?"

"I…just…I…" Kate said, not knowing how to say what she wanted. She looked down to try and compose her thoughts before bringing her eyes back up to his. "I was wondering how Brian's wife happened to find out Friday…I mean after all you said at the office and then she shows up…"

Kate had stopped her thought and looked down with confusion on her face. Gibbs sat for a while contemplating what he should tell her. He knew the truth would be best but he didn't want her to leave tonight, he didn't want her to leave ever. He feared she would be angry with him, for what he did, but he also knew he couldn't hide it from her for ever. Kate noticed his hesitation and pursed her lips briefly before continuing on.

"She said, she hoped what HE had said was a sick joke, Gibbs…are you he?" she finally said, feeling a rush of adrenaline now that the question was out in the open air. Gibbs eyes closed on their own power, and he ducked his chin to his chest, pausing slightly before bringing his gaze back up to hers.

"I told you, Kate, I checked him out. I knew what was going to happen…" Gibbs said before Kate cut him off.

"Did you tell her?" she asked the hurt evident in her voice. Gibbs looked over her shoulder up at the moon and knew that this was going to be a bumpy conversation. She would push him until he revealed all, he wasn't quite sure he was ready. He searched his heart and his mind and the answers to his questions were surprisingly clear to him as he looked back to Kate's face.

He knew that this was the time; he was ready to face his emotion, to recognize his love, to take the risk of his lifetime for happiness. This was a defining moment in his life, and he knew what he had to do. Honesty was his only chance.

"Yes," he said simply, honestly, and confidently. Kate searched his face, the unspoken question of why written across it. Gibbs licked his lips and looked away as he composed the rest of his answer. "I told you I checked him out, Kate. He was lying to you, he was married. I…I just…I don't know," he said shaking his head as he finished.

"You don't know? Gibbs, why did you check up on him?"

"You wouldn't believe me," he mumbled waving a hand idly dismissing her question, avoiding her gaze. She could see he was struggling with what to tell her, but she also knew she wouldn't stop pushing.

"Try me," she said gently, stepping over to him and squatting down between his legs. Her arms came to rest along his thighs, elbows on knees. He looked down at her and slowly nodded his head. Without breaking eye contact he continued.

"He was going to hurt you, Kate; you had that sparkle in your eye. You were falling for him and he was going to hurt you. He was taken, I…I couldn't let it happen," Gibbs said his voice trailing off. Kate studied him for a long moment, making Gibbs slightly uncomfortable. Finally she stood and slid into the seat next to him.

"So you told his wife," Kate said with sorrow.

"Yes. She deserved to know," Gibbs said looking away.

"But you didn't tell me," Kate said, the hurt evident in her voice that he couldn't tell her what was going to happen.

"Would you have believed me?" Gibbs asked as he idly picked at the arm of the chair.

"I don't know," Kate said honestly. She reached over and grabbed his hand in her own and interlocked her fingers. "But you could have tried."

"You would have been angry that I pried into your personal life," he said as his brow creased. "I couldn't make myself bring the sorrow down on you."

"Bring the sorrow down on me?"

"If I had told you, I would have been the one to instigate the sorrow in your heart, Kate, it would have been my doing," Gibbs said looking her in the eye.

"You could have warned me," Kate continued. Gibbs sighed and looked down at their hands unsure of how to let her know that she had to find this out on her own.

"Kate, how would you have felt if you were the wife?" he asked suddenly looking back up at her. The question caught her off guard but then she thought about. Her stomach flipped at the thought of it the other way around. "Besides I tried to warn you."

"When?"

"When I left," he said squeezing her hand gently.

"You call that a warning?"

"I told you that you didn't know him and when you said he was a good man I said maybe maybe not."

"That's not a warning, Gibbs," Kate said with a smile. His shoulders rose and fell once. Kate nodded slowly. "Speaking of what you said at the office,"

"What?" he asked cautiously.

"What made you say all that? I mean you were free and clear, and then you said so long as I know what I was doing. It baited me, Gibbs, you would have avoided a conversation altogether with me. Why did you say something?"

"Sometimes the heart speaks without the minds permission," Gibbs said softly as he stared off over the railing at the darkness. Kate studied his face before she spoke again.

"Is that what happened?" Kate asked causing Gibbs to turn his head slowly and meet her gaze.

"It has been getting harder and harder to fight what's inside me, Kate. I try every day to push it further and further away, but it always comes back. I attempt to store away the feelings and the emotions in a box, but the ones for you escape," he said before he shook his head slowly and realized he was rambling. He licked his lips and returned his eyes to the moon in the sky above.

"Gibbs?" she asked slowly, waiting until he drew his attention to her once again before she continued. "How long have you…felt…"

"It's something that's pretty constant, Kate. For a couple years now, it just sits in my mind. I'm unable to walk away, it's more than attraction," he said almost shyly. Kate smiled at his awkwardness.

"Why now?"

"Why not?"

"But what made you say what you said in the office?"

"I was tired of you crying over love," he said in a whisper. She almost didn't hear the words, but as they registered in her mind the smile on her face grew larger.

"Did you check up on all the men I dated?" Kate asked suddenly. His eyes quickly snapped to hers before he locked them on the railing in front of them. The embarrassment and guilt that flashed over his face amused Kate. "You did."

"Caught me," he said sheepishly with a shrug. "I…"

"It's ok, Gibbs, you don't have to explain. I think I understand. Can I just ask one thing?"

"Anything," Gibbs said sincerely.

"Why now?"

"What do you mean?"

"Why ask now? Why did you say all that at the office now?"

"Oh. Guess I was just tired of fighting it," he said with a smile as he pulled her over the arms of the chairs so that he could kiss her. As she pulled back from the kiss she smiled at him and nodded, leaning down for a second kiss.


	5. Part V: Making a Go of It

**Disclaimer on Part I**

**AN: here we go again, Part V. Hope you like it, kinda wrote itself again. Let me know. Tell me what you think. enjoy, dark rolling sea.

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Part V: Making a Go of It

Kate sat in her own apartment late Sunday night. She had finally come home three hours ago after spending the entire weekend at Gibbs' house. She missed him already. She sat idly on her couch picking at the upholstery wondering what he was doing at the exact same moment. She audibly sighed and shook her head checking the clock once again. It was getting late but she knew there was no hope for sleep yet.

They had avoided the conversation of how to handle their new found relationship at work. Both knew it would need to remain hidden until certain aspects were worked out. Kate didn't know if she could act as if nothing happened. She feared she would over compensate and her behavior would raise suspicion with the rest of the team.

She leaned against the arm of the couch and stretched her legs out down the length of it, while pulling the pillow up over her face. She screamed into in before laughter engulfed her. She was so pathetic she thought. The loud ringing of her phone made her jump before she tossed the pillow to the side as she glanced up at the clock. She wondered who was calling at such an hour and then a smile crossed over her face. She reached for the phone and pulled it to her ear.

"Hello?" she said unable to hide the smile in her voice.

"What took you so long to answer?" Gibbs voice said into her ear. The smile widened into a grin.

"I was screaming into a pillow," Kate said with a chuckle.

"Everything all right?" Gibbs asked.

"It is now," she said then felt herself blush even though he wasn't there to see it. There was a pause as no one spoke before he continued.

"Come back," he said in a whisper. Kate was a little shocked by his tone of voice. The need and desire in the two words was a little overwhelming to her. She closed her eyes and pressed the phone a little harder to her ear.

"Right now?" she asked.

"Yes," he said softly before the line went dead. Kate stared at the receiver for a full minute before she dropped it on the coffee table and stood up. She went to her room and packed an overnight bag, making sure to pack something to wear to work tomorrow. She took a deep breath as she looked into the mirror in the bathroom, unable to suppress the smile that was plastered across her face.

She took the bag down to the car and got in, then cursed aloud when she realized she left her keys up in the apartment. She ran back up the stairs two at a time and searched for the keys. Finally she found them and headed back to her car. The drive to his house couldn't go quickly enough, and after what seemed like an eternity she pulled into his driveway. He was sitting on the porch watching for her, the smile on his face growing as she stepped from the car.

Kate walked slowly up to the porch and came in front of Gibbs. They stood staring into each others eyes. Kate's smile grew into a full fledged grin and Gibbs couldn't help but reciprocate it. He reached out and ran his thumb along her jaw causing Kate to close her eyes. He then turned and led her into the house without a word.

Kate stopped him in the middle of the living room and wrapped her arms around his neck, leaning in for a soft kiss. When she pulled back Gibbs motioned for them to sit on the couch. Once they were settled they sat in comfortable silence for quite some time as the hours grew later and Kate finally felt sleep coming to her.

"Kate?" Gibbs asked softly.

"Hmmm?" she asked with closed eyes.

"We haven't talked about tomorrow," Gibbs replied.

"You mean later today?" Kate said sleepily.

"I mean work," Gibbs said with a sigh. Kate opened her eyes and looked up at him. She saw the strain in his face and reached up to run her hand down the side of his face.

"I know," Kate said sitting up a little more.

"They'll want one of us to transfer if they know," he said searching her eyes. "I don't want that to happen."

"Than we don't tell the director," Kate said her hand gently stroking up and down his arm, causing goose bumps to form along his skin. "What about the team? I don't know that I can…hide this."

"I know," he said after a long pause. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the couch. "This is why I fought this for so long."

"Gibbs?" Kate said a little worried. His head slowly came up and his eyes leveled out on hers. "You don't regre…"

"No," he said instantly and sternly, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and pulling her to his chest. "I never will either," he continued as he leaned down and kissed the top of her head.

"Good," she whispered against his chest. His hand started to rub lightly up and down her back as they sat together on the couch, Kate slipping into sleep once again.

"Do we tell the team?" Gibbs asked suddenly, the vibration of his chest waking Kate once again. She shifted slightly and looked up at him.

"Can we hide it?" Kate asked.

Gibbs looked down at her and she knew it was most likely impossible. He smiled and slowly shook his head. "If you stay away from me," he said with a grin.

"Wouldn't that make them suspicious?" Kate asked her head finding its spot on his chest again.

"Abby would nail us," Gibbs replied.

"So why not tell them?"

"Let's see where it takes us, if they start to get suspicious we'll tell them, but otherwise try to act…normal."

"Umm-Hmm," Kate said sleepily as Gibbs smiled.

"Come on, let's go to bed," he said gently as he helped her to her feet.

The alarm sounding woke Kate. The disorientation faded as she realized where she was and she rolled over to find that the bed was empty. She got up and noticed the bathroom was free so she grabbed her bag and headed for the shower. Once she was done and dressed she moved down the stairs but didn't find Gibbs.

She heard noises coming from the basement so she slowly made her way to the door and then peaked down the steps. She saw him sitting in front of the skeleton of his boat with his back to her, sanding away. She took the stairs slowly watching him work. When she was about halfway down he stopped and turned to see her. He smiled and then placed the tool he was using on the table in the corner before coming up the stairs to meet her.

"Good morning," she said.

"Morning," Gibbs said as he leaned in for a kiss. "Breakfast is in the kitchen. I'm going for a shower."

Kate ate what Gibbs had made and waited for him to come down. He came into the kitchen and Kate smiled. This was going to be harder than she thought at the office. He leaned against the counter and looked at her.

"You want to leave first or you want me too?" Gibbs asked.

"You should, they'd be suspicious if you were late," Kate said.

Gibbs nodded and grabbed his keys and headed out the door, stealing one last kiss before he went. Kate waited a good fifteen minutes and then left as well. When she arrived at headquarters she was the last of the team to arrive. She walked into the bullpen to see Gibbs sitting at his desk and she fought with herself to keep the smile in check. He stood when she was about to sit down and walked towards her.

"You're late," he said in the regular Gibbs manner and continued to walk. Kate simply nodded and watched him pass as Tony came from behind his computer.

"Long weekend, Kate?" Tony asked with a smile on his face.

"An interesting one," Kate said with a half smile as she sat down at her desk.

"Oooh, what happened? Things go good with Brian?" Tony asked with a raised eyebrow and a grin. McGee leaned around his monitor to listen into the conversation. The mention of Brian made Kate want to scowl and scream at Tony, but she knew he didn't know what happened.

"I wouldn't exactly say good," Kate said nonchalant. Tony looked at McGee then back at Kate.

"Come on, Kate, what happened?" Tony asked moving and sitting on the corner of his desk. Gibbs chose that moment to reenter the bullpen and quickly rescued Kate by giving Tony a swift smack to the back of the head. "Oww, Boss."

"Get back to work," Gibbs said as he made his way to his own desk, coffee firmly in hand.

"We don't have a case and," Tony began before Gibbs cut him off with a look. "Right, Boss, paper work."

McGee smiled and Tony continued to sneak glances at Kate. Something was different about her and he was determined to find out. He typed away for a half hour before Gibbs walked out of the bullpen again. Kate tried desperately not to follow him with her eyes so she chose to lock them onto Tony who was staring at her.

"What?" she asked creasing her brow.

"Spill, Kate, what happened this weekend? You and Brian right?" Tony said a grin spreading on his face like a kid in the candy store.

"Leave it be, Tony, if she doesn't want to talk about she doesn't want to talk about it," McGee said from his desk.

"Shut it, Probie, I didn't ask you," Tony said over his shoulder. Kate rolled her eyes and continued to work on the back paper work, wishing Gibbs would come back soon. She put on her best smile and looked over at Tony.

"Thank you, McGee," she said. McGee looked up and gave her a single nod before continuing with the report he was working on.

"Kate," Tony said with another grin. Then he went thoughtful for a moment, eyeballing Kate while he did.

"What?"

"You spent the entire weekend with him, huh," Tony said finally with a confident grin.

"Tony, don't you have something better to do?" Kate shot back at him.

"Come on, Kate, what happened, he take you somewhere?"

"Nope," Kate said focusing on her work again.

"Hmmm, surprised you with something? Come on you had a great weekend I can tell. It's written all over you," Tony said as he leaned back in his chair and raised his hands up over his hand. He then felt the contact of Gibbs' hand to his head, jerking him forward slightly. He looked up at his boss to find him glaring back at him.

"DiNozzo, paper work, now," he said roughly and Tony nodded quickly before returning to his report. Gibbs shook his head and headed back to his desk sitting down and squinting at the screen. Kate snuck a look his way and smiled softly to herself, before catching it and refocusing on her work in front of her.

Tony was quiet for the better part of the morning but continued to stare at Kate from time to time. He knew something big had happened this weekend it was written all over her face, he just didn't have a clue what. Gibbs got up once again and headed towards the elevator. It was a few minutes later that Kate got up and left the bullpen.

Tony turned to McGee and thought for a moment. McGee was busy reading over a case file ignoring the senior field agent. Tony finally got up and walked to McGee's desk and put his hands down on the edge and leaned in.

"Something the matter, Tony?" McGee asked his attention still on the file in front of him.

"You noticed something off about Kate?" he asked.

"What she seems happy?" McGee asked laying the file down and looking up at Tony.

"Yeah," Tony said with a snort looking back at the elevator doors.

"So she's happy, Tony, what's wrong with that?" McGee asked.

"Aren't you the least bit curious why?" Tony asked a little shocked.

"Honestly? No," McGee said then picked up the case file again.

Gibbs stood impatiently in the interrogation room waiting. Finally he heard her footsteps coming down the hallway and his lips curled upwards in a smile. She came in and shut the door and the grin on her face made his spread wider. She walked up to him and wrapped her arms around him and he leaned in and kissed her. When he pulled back he also took a step back.

"I got your message," Kate said.

"It's been killing me not to do that," Gibbs said looking down at his feet. Kate smiled.

"I know, and Tony's stupid questions," Kate replied shaking her head.

"He suspicious?" Gibbs asked worriedly.

"He knows something happened this weekend. He just thinks it has to do with Brian," Kate said, her voice dropping off as she said the second part, her eyes shifting to the floor. Gibbs reached out and put a finger below her chin and raised her head.

"Abby is suspicious," Gibbs said guiltily. Kate studied his face and smiled at his boyish grin.

"What did you do?" Kate said with a smile.

"I…I guess I can't hide it. Ducky asked if something was different too," Gibbs said.

"But Tony and McGee are clueless," Kate said with a smile.

"I think we should tell Abby," Gibbs said with a slight shrug. "She'll be upset if we don't."

"Ok, but just Abby," Kate said. Gibbs nodded his agreement and then headed out the door with Kate in tow. They took the elevator down to the lab and Gibbs led the way through into the blaring music. Gibbs went over and flipped off the music as Kate came up in front of Abby.

"Kate, what a pleasure to see you today," Abby said as she swirled in her chair. "I'm soooooo bored."

"I'm sure I can find something for you to do, Abbs," Gibbs said from behind her. She jerked her head to face him and grinned up at him with innocence.

"That's quite all right, Bossman," Abby said before turning back to Kate with the 'you could have told me Gibbs was with you' look.

Kate simply smiled at her and Abby looked from her to Gibbs and back to Kate with suspicion on her face. Both Gibbs and Kate could see her thinking and Gibbs walked around them both and came up behind Kate, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and pulling her closer to him. Abby stared at the two, her jaw hanging open at the gesture in front of her.

"This?" she said as she waved a hand in front of her. "This is why?"

"Yep," Gibbs said unable to suppress the grin that spread rapidly over his features.

"Kate?" Abby asked.

"It's a bit of a long story, Abbs, but since Friday night," Kate replied with a smile on her face.

"This is just so awesome you guys! Who else knows?" Abby beamed as she leapt from the chair she was in and bounced over to them throwing her arms around the two of them at the same time.

"Just you," Gibbs said with a smile. Abby's grin grew as the words soaked in, she was in on privileged information.

"I'm so happy for you," Abby said. "Now this is serious right, Gibbs?"

"Yes, ma'am," Gibbs said instantly.

"Yes, Abby, we're going to try to make a go of this," Kate said with a smile.


	6. Part VI: Better Treat Her Right

**Disclaimer on Part I**

**AN: Oh my! It's a miracle! Look who's writing again! Ok so it's probly not the one you want...I promise now that I'm writing I'll try to work on the other one! But here you go part VI of this series. Its a little fun. Sorry about this long draught people! So here's the deal. I'm super excited because the reason I haven't been posting here...is that I'm getting a work together to be published. So once I'm done with that (have 6 chapters completely reading...39 total to get through!), which will be hopefully next week, I'll start writing for here again! Ok that said...on to the story...tell me what you think :-) dark rolling sea.

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Part VI: Better Treat Her Right

Tony was still dogging Kate when Friday rolled around again. Kate had patiently deflected his questions about what was the cause of her sudden upswing in mood. Kate couldn't understand why he thought her mood had changed so much in the last week. She had been happy before she ended up with Gibbs, hadn't she? Gibbs had told her he saw a sparkle in her eye, a glow about her, after she had met Brian, before she found out he was married.

But maybe it was something more, now that it was Gibbs that inspired that sparkle in her eyes. Maybe it was deeper, fuller, more genuine, than it was before. His insistent hounding was wearing her patience thin, but Gibbs and she decided to keep things quiet a bit longer. So far only Abby and Ducky knew. Kate was there when they told Abby, but she had no idea Ducky had knowledge until he had congratulated her in autopsy on Wednesday.

Her shocked expression had drawn a chuckle from the old man, as he gently patted her shoulder. He had asked her if she really though Jethro could hide something this big from his closest friend. It was Kate's turn to smile. She should have known. Ducky probably knew before they told Abby.

So far they had done a good job of keeping the relationship from the office. They had their minor slips when they couldn't stand to be apart anymore, finding an empty interrogation room to just occupy for a brief moment. Otherwise they had managed to carry on as usual.

Tony continued to pester though, and Gibbs would shut him up often enough with a swift smacking to the head, but there were times when Gibbs wasn't there. Tony would pick away at Kate, asking question after question about Brian. Finally Kate had had enough and late Thursday she had snapped at Tony explaining that Brian Richards was no longer a part of her life and never would be again.

Tony had sat down with a thump as he stared at Kate in awe. He then began to think of other reasons and began to pester her for the answers. Kate was growing weary of his antics and Tony was not taking a hint. She had talked to Gibbs about it, while away from work and he tried to keep it under control, trying to monitor Tony as much as he could, but sometimes he had to leave them together; besides too much monitoring would draw unwanted suspicion.

As the afternoon waned on, no cases came in and Kate was thinking that they just might have a minor miracle, two weekends in a row off. Tony had forgotten his quest of finding out Kate's personal life, and was rambling on about his own at the moment. Kate was not listening, only feigning interest. McGee was flat out ignoring Tony. Gibbs sighed as Tony's continuous speaking was giving him a headache.

He glanced at Kate and sent her an email. As soon as he hit send, he left his desk and headed for the elevator. Kate's computer beeped and she called up the email, smiling seeing that it was from Gibbs. There was no message or subject, but Kate knew what it meant.

"So any plans for you, Kate?" Tony asked as she was about to get up from her desk. She looked at him and thought about what to tell him that would get him to leave her alone.

"Nope. Was planning on sitting home all weekend and enjoying the peace and quiet of not having to work," Kate replied quickly as she stood and went to move around her desk.

"You really should get out more, Kate, I mean don't let Brian ruin your life," Tony said idly. McGee stared at Tony in shock, as Kate stopped in her tracks and glared at him.

"Who says I'm letting Brian ruin my life? Besides, Tony, I rather enjoy sitting at home, reading a good novel."

"Sure, Kate. What are you really doing this weekend?" Tony asked sitting back in his chair and raising his arms up over his head to stretch his back.

Kate didn't answer as the email was burning into her mind. She really needed to find Gibbs. She left her desk and headed for the elevator without answering him. As soon as he heard the doors close, Tony stood and moved over to McGee's desk.

"You ever noticed that sometimes Kate's computer beeps with email right after Gibbs walks out?"

"What?"

"Then she gets up a while later and leaves?"

"Tony, what are you talking about?"

But Tony didn't answer him. He simply walked towards the elevator. First he went down to Abby's lab. He confronted the lab tech and cornered her by her desk.

"Tony?" she asked wearily.

"Spill the beans, Abby," Tony said with a smile.

"What beans?"

"Come on, Abby, I know you know something."

"About what?"

"Don't play that game with me, Abby! What's going on with Kate?"

"Kate? Nothing, what are you talking about?"

"She's been super happy this past week and I found out she dumped Brian. You're not super happy after you dump your boyfriend," Tony replied leaning closer.

"Maybe he was a pig," Abby said with a shrug as she pushed Tony back and hopped up to sit on her desk.

"Abby," he said with a smile.

"I don't know, Tony, why don't you ask Kate?"

"I have all week," he mumbled. "She won't talk to me."

"Maybe she has her reasons," Abby said with a shrug.

Tony looked at Abby then shook his head and sauntered from the lab and back into the elevator. When he got in there was a blonde woman going up as well and she smiled at him. He struck up a conversation, his quest to find Kate and Gibbs sidetracked. When she got off the elevator, Tony went with her, even though it wasn't the floor for the bullpen.

He was engaged in the conversation with her, when they passed an interrogation room and something caught Tony's eye. He bid the blonde farewell and slipped into the observation room. As he came up to the glass, his mouth dropped open at the sight he was seeing. Gibbs had his arms around Kate's waist and was…kissing her. He stood dumbfounded for a moment before he turned and headed towards the door to the observation room.

He knocked once quickly to draw their attention before he stepped inside. Gibbs and Kate pulled away from each other and Kate looked down at the floor with pursed lips. Gibbs glared at DiNozzo, as the younger man just stared in disbelief.

"You need something?" Gibbs asked as if nothing had happened. Tony tried to form a sentence in his mind, as Kate stood up a little straighter next to Gibbs. She had an embarrassed smile on her lips, as a giggle started to escape. Gibbs glanced at her, his glare melting, as he smiled shaking his head.

"Ah, uh, what…uh, what?" Tony stammered still not being able to form words. Kate lost it and started to laugh as she laced her arm through Gibbs'. She doubled over, letting her laughter out as she looked up at Gibbs. His smile widened, before he too started laughing.

"DiNozzo, you ok?" Kate asked as her laughter subsided. Tony stared from Kate to Gibbs back to Kate again.

"What the hell?" Tony asked stunned, finally able to form a coherent thought.

"Oops," Gibbs whispered to Kate, a grin still plastered across his face.

"Yeah, I'd say. I guess we should tell him now," Kate said with a laugh.

"Yeah, I'd say so!" Tony said shocked.

"Look, Tony," Kate said. "It's not that we didn't trust you, McGee doesn't know either, it's just that we weren't ready to go…public with this."

"With what?" Tony asked shaking his head.

"Look, it's…" Kate began but Gibbs cut her off.

"Is it really that hard to believe?" Gibbs asked incredulously, unable to understand why the younger man was so stunned.

"You two?" Tony asked waving a finger between the two of them.

They both nodded and Gibbs wrapped an arm around Kate pulling her closer to him. Tony shook his head, closing his eyes, trying to clear his jumbled mind.

"That's why?" Tony asked looking at Kate.

"Yes, Tony," Kate said with a nod.

"I never saw that coming," Tony said with true awe. "Congrats."

"Thank you," Gibbs said.

"Better treat her right, Boss," Tony said and then turned and headed back to the bullpen without another word.


	7. Part VII: Sharing a Secret

**Disclaimer on Part I.**

**AN: A quick update. Ok so now I'm writing again and it shouldn't be too long before I update LEA for you guys! Tell me what you think of this one...it's a little different from the others in this series, but it just kinda popped into my head. enjoy. dark rolling sea.

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Part VII: Sharing the Secret

Kate and Gibbs had been together almost a month now. McGee had finally found out, a little upset he was the last to know. It was still a secret from the rest of NCIS though, as Kate and Gibbs decided how they wanted to handle the situation. Kate had been spending most of her time at Gibbs' house, only visiting her apartment when she needed something.

It was where she found herself on this night, as Gibbs worked in the basement on the boat. She had gone upstairs, leaving him alone with his distraction. Kate had started to snoop around his house, looking at everything she could find, trying to get to know him that much more. Even though Gibbs was slowly opening up to her, she knew he was hiding so much more.

She was in his room now, a room that was slowly becoming theirs. She sat on the bed and slowly surveyed what was around her. The dresser in the corner was neatly kept, holding all his clothes in an orderly fashion. The top was in perfect order, everything in its place, neatly organized and easily accessible. The nightstand was cluttered with items, a book, his reading glasses, two glasses, and other various things. The bed was spacious and decked out in navy blue colors, the walls were an off white, and the carpet a bold red color.

The closet was impeccable, with his suits taking up most of the one side. She had slowly moved her own clothes into the other side. The shelf on top was covered with boxes, what was in them she didn't know. It was those boxes that garnered her curiosity.

She pushed herself up from the bed and walked over to the closet, standing on her tip toes she examined the boxes closet to her. She could see that some of them had not been touched in quite some time, the dust build up enormous. She saw one that looked old and ragged, as if it had been slid out and replaced often. The dust had finger streaks through it, as if handled on a regular basis.

Kate reached out slowly and gripped the box. She took it over to the bed and sat down, cross-legged in the middle. She set the box down and slid the lid from the top. What she found, she never expected. Inside were pictures. Most of them contained a young red head with a small child; a few contained a younger version of Gibbs.

She pulled out a stack and slowly went through them, watching as the child aged through the pictures. The smile that was always on Gibbs' face was foreign to her, one even she had not received before. She felt a pang in her stomach as she neared the end of the pictures. The child was no more than eight years old, Kate thought. As she fingered the last stack, she caught movement out of the corner of her eye.

She jumped slightly and looked up to find Gibbs standing in the doorway watching her. She gave him an apologetic look as she set the pictures down. The sorrow on his face, as his gaze traveled to the objects sitting by Kate's feet, tore at her heart. He stood perfectly still for a long moment as Kate wondered if she had crossed a line.

When his eyes came up to meet hers, he gave her a small smile, to assure her it was ok. He walked slowly to where she was sitting and stopped next to the bed. He reached down and gently grabbed a picture of the child, himself, and the red head. He stared at it, his fingers running over both the girl and the woman in the photo, before he dropped it to the bed. Kate looked up at him waiting. When he closed his eyes and turned to leave she finally spoke.

"Who are they?" she asked softly.

Gibbs stopped his back still to Kate. He slowly turned to face her, and she saw the wetness in his eyes. She got up from the bed and walked to him, gently reaching out for him. Her hand touched his shoulder and he dropped his chin to his chest. His eyes opened and moved to lock onto the picture sitting on the edge of the bed. He walked closer to it, picking it up again as Kate came up beside him.

He stared at the two in the picture and the tears started to fall from his eyes. Kate wrapped an arm through his and leaned her head on his shoulder. It was a few minutes before he spoke to her.

"Shannon and Kelly," he said simply. Kate took the picture from him and studied the faces. "Shannon was my first wife, Kelly was my daughter."

The words hit Kate and she realized what he was saying. He had said was. She looked up at him with tears in her eyes, as he stared at the picture she was holding. Kate had no idea that Gibbs had had a child. He sat down on the bed and thumbed through the pictures, as Kate stood watching him.

"They were murdered," he said glancing briefly up at Kate, before returning his attention to the pictures. "Kelly was eight."

"I…I had no idea," Kate said softly.

"Ducky doesn't even know," Gibbs said quietly, looking up at Kate. Kate nodded slowly understanding what he was saying. "It happened during Desert Storm. I was over there when I got the news."

"What happened?" Kate asked wrapping her arms around his shoulders and pulling his close to her.

"Shannon had witnessed the murder of a Marine. The drug lord that she was to testify against, shot the agent that was protecting them. He was driving the car when they killed him. Shannon and Kelly died in the crash."

"Gibbs," Kate said with compassion, reaching up and caressing his face. He looked at her and then continued.

"They were already buried before I got back," he said tossing the pictures back into the box.

"Did they ever catch the guy?" Kate asked. Gibbs' eyes flashed with anger and resentment as his mind latched onto a memory. He didn't answer her, simply standing up and attempting to walk away. She grabbed his arm and stopped him, his eyes coming back to hers. "Gibbs," she said sternly but he didn't answer and the emotion rushing through his eyes scared her. "Jethro?"

Her switch to his first name caught him off guard. She had yet to call him that, even in their month together. He closed his eyes and swallowed hard. He sat down next to her again and leaned his forehead down on her shoulder. The tears ran down his face.

"No, the case is officially open unsolved," Gibbs replied softly.

"But?" Kate said, knowing there was more. Gibbs picked his head up and stared into her eyes, judging if he could tell her everything. The love that stared back at him knew she would not judge him for his decision.

"He's dead," he replied slowly. "I…I killed him."

Kate only nodded. She didn't know what to say to him. A long moment passed as they sat in silence. Finally Kate broke it. "So you were married four times?"

Gibbs looked over at her, seeing the sparkle in her eyes when she looked at him. He closed his and wondered what was so different about her that he had just shared his biggest secret with her. She was definitely special he thought. He reached out and cupped her face before leaning in and kissing her.

"Yes," he said as he pulled back.

"So I should run," Kate said with a smile. Gibbs saw the humor in her eyes and grabbed her by the shoulders pushing her down on the bed, coming down on top of her.

"No," he whispered, leaning down and kissing her again. "The three never meant anything as much as you."

"Three?" she asked.

He stopped and looked her in the eye. He didn't know it until now, but the feeling punched him in the gut. He hadn't been this happy since Shannon was alive. Kate saw him processing something and waited patiently for him to finish. He smiled when he admitted to himself that he was truly in love.

"I haven't been in love like this since Shannon," he whispered leaning down and kissing her neck. When Kate processed what he had said her eyes widened. She smiled up at him as he pulled back from her neck. "What?"

"What? You say that then ask me what?" Kate said trying not to laugh.

"What?" he asked again, the grin splitting his face.

"You just said you loved me," Kate said with a smile, reaching up to run her hand along his jaw.

"Yes, I did."

"I love you too, Jethro," she said softly. "Can I say something?"

"Of course."

"I think it's time you stopped hiding them," Kate said softly, looking at the box next to them. Gibbs glanced at the box, the sadness creeping back into his eyes. He nodded slowly and pulled the picture of the three of them out. He reached over and placed it on the nightstand next to the lamp. Kate smiled at him.


	8. Part VIII: Healing the Heart

**Disclaimer on Part I.**

**AN: Here isPartVIII. Hope you like.Good news, I started chap 23 of LEA and should be workingon it more. Hope to have it up soon! Anyway, this one is a little more to the story. Let me know what you think!

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Part VIII: Healing the Heart

It had been a week since Gibbs had shared his secret with Kate. The photo still sat on the bed stand, leaning against the small lamp, for them to see. Late at night, after Kate had fallen asleep, he would retrieve his box and move to the basement, but he would leave the picture on the bed stand. Once in the basement he resumed his ritual of leafing through the pictures reliving the memories of his past.

Each night the pain seemed to become less and less. The first night after he had shared with her the tragedy of his family, the pain had blasted him ten fold. He had cried that night with the pictures between his fingers, mourning once again as if it had happened yesterday, feeling like the past fifteen years had done nothing to ease the pain of losing what matter most in his life.

By this night, one week later, he was able to thumb the pictures, smiling at certain memories of his past. He still felt the pang of guilt for not being here to protect them and the pain in his heart of losing them, but it was manageable. He knew it had a lot to do with sharing them with Kate, for letting someone else in on his secret.

He sat now in the bed staring at his sleeping Kate. Yes, he thought she had become his Kate. The thought would have scared him in the past, but now that it had happened he wondered why he fought it all that time. His mind scrambled, lost in thoughts, jumbled with incoherent confusion on what he was feeling.

He knew there was a deep connection with Kate, something that he had longed to find since he lost Shannon. He had tried to replace it so many times with so many different women, even marrying three of them, but found nothing to fill that void. He never could replace the piece of his heart that died with his family fifteen years ago. He knew now that he was using those other women as replacements, measuring them up to Shannon. He realized now that every one of those relationships was destined to fail, because he couldn't replace what he felt.

There was no replacing, there was only substituting and like certain foods, substitution comes nowhere near the original. But with Kate it was different and he didn't know why. His thoughts returned to his happy days married to the woman he loved, his daughter that had become his life.

They had left him suddenly and unexpectedly. The news had crushed him, drained him, and almost killed him. They were already buried before he returned state side and he didn't have a chance to say goodbye. His heart had been shattered, destroyed by a single moment. He thought about his life now and how Kate had plugged a hole in his heart he thought would be there till the day he died.

He should have been happy, yet his mind clouded the happiness with thoughts of the past. It was now, after sharing the loss with her that his mind began to conjure up what if scenarios. He tried to force them from his mind, watching Kate sleep peacefully next to him unaware of his constant worry. He rubbed his face hard with his hand and clamped his eyes shut trying to ward off the thoughts plaguing him.

His mind constantly reminded him not to open up, not to love again. There were consequences that came with completely releasing one's heart to someone else. She could be taken away in a blink of an eye. He knew in their line of work that anything was possible. He had come to terms long ago in his career that he could be shot. He could be killed outright, but he had been ok with that.

With someone sharing his life now, his thoughts turned on him. What if tomorrow Kate takes a bullet? What if someone took her away from him? His mind screamed and his heart wailed at the thought of losing her, of losing someone again. He had thought he could deal with this, being in love again. But now he realized that he would never fully be able to open to her. He was scared.

He hated to admit it but Caitlin Todd scared the infamous Leroy Jethro Gibbs. The man was legend on his ability to be a rock, to be fearless and ruthless. But a simple look from a certain woman scared him blind. There was always that lurking fear that she would be taken from him in a heartbeat and he would be left with another headstone to visit.

He looked at her sleeping form again and felt the pang in his heart. She deserved so much, and he thought he could give it to her, but this fear was gnawing at him now. It was consuming him, working its way through his consciousness with no mercy. His heart was split and his mind was reeling.

Kate seemed to sense something was not right and she slowly came out of her slumber. Gibbs watched her, trying desperately to hold his face void of emotion. It was of no use; Kate read the confusion and fear in his eyes. Instantly she sat up and scooted closer to him.

"What's wrong?" she asked her voice still thick from sleep. She blinked a few times and ran a hand through her hair. Gibbs watched her closely for a moment, before his eyes dropped to his hands holding the picture. Kate followed his gaze and slowly reached out, taking the object from him.

She looked over the picture again, something she had done a million times in the last week. When she had the courage, she looked back up at him and saw the unease in his eyes. She reached out, still waiting for him to answer her question, unsure of how to continue. Gibbs closed his eyes.

"You're scared," Kate whispered softly as she sat up next to him and placed a gentle hand on his face. He opened his eyes, and turned to face her slowly.

"Kate, I haven't…felt…" he couldn't continue as the fear and unease welled up inside him. He looked away from her at the picture one more time. The unnerving feeling of losing Kate Todd was overriding his system. He was sure he would break soon.

"Jethro," she said softly, coaxing him to look at her. His eyes slowly came to meet hers. She continued. "What is it?"

He paused again, not knowing how to compose his thoughts into words. He watched her, as she gently probed his eyes. He swallowed hard and nodded once.

"It's been a very long time since I was in love," he said to the comforter instead of looking at Kate.

Kate smiled and leaned her head on his shoulder, reaching down and taking his hand in her own. Gibbs watched as she interlaced their fingers. She pulled their hands up to her lips and softly kissed his knuckles. Gibbs watched and as their hands dropped to the comforter again, he continued.

"Shannon was my world and then Kelly came along and I was the luckiest man alive. I left them for Desert Storm. I wasn't here to protect them and they were taken from me, Kate. I…can't bare the fact that I've fallen in love again…fallen for someone that can fill a void in my heart. What if…"

"Stop," Kate said gently. Gibbs looked at her with wet eyes and Kate felt her heart ache. A few tears slipped from her eyes as she brought herself up to her knees. She kneeled next to him and took his face in both her hands. She stared deeply into his eyes letting him see the love she bore for him. "I love you too, Jethro, more than anyone I have ever loved. I know you're worried, I know you're afraid. I am too."

"Kate, it's more than fear. I can't bear to have a second headstone to visit," he whispered as the first tear rolled down his face. He looked up at the ceiling and tried to get his emotions under control.

"I can't promise you nothing will happen, Jethro, I simply can't."

Gibbs nodded slowly still staring up at the ceiling. He then decided to let her in on his other secret. The one he harbored and was glad he didn't follow through on.

"After I came back from Kuwait, I visited their grave. I took my gun with me, Kate. I had it loaded and ready. I sat and I stared at that grave marker and I cried. My heart was shattered and I figured it was unfixable. There was no way for me to continue," he said avoiding her eyes. Kate felt her heart constrict a little and as she put a hand on his chest. "I almost pulled the trigger that day. I wanted to so bad."

"It's ok, Jethro," Kate said softly.

"That's what would happen if it happened again," Gibbs said softly.

"Promise me you wouldn't," Kate said forcibly. Gibbs looked at her, before closing his eyes. The fear was overwhelming him now, as he knew this could work. "Jethro," Kate said warningly.

"Kate, just as you couldn't promise nothing would happen," Gibbs began.

"This is different, Jethro," Kate said a hint of anger seeping into her voice. "I said I couldn't control something happening to me. What you're talking about is self inflicted."

He forced himself to look at her and he saw the underlying fear for him in her eyes. It made him realize that it would haunt her if he didn't say something. He decided right there that he would make a promise to her and let her know that he would not do what he thought he was capable of.

"You couldn't do it the first time, Jethro. You'd be able to stop it."

"Yes," he said with sincerity as he nodded once. Kate smiled and leaned in kissing him on the lips.

"I know you're scared. I'm scared too, but I'm willing to take a chance if you are," she said before she kissed him a second time. Gibbs wrapped his arms around her and held her in place before he rolled her onto her back on the bed.

"I do love you," he said with a smile.

"I know," Kate replied with a smile of her own. Gibbs waited a beat as an idea came to him. He wasn't sure how Kate would react so he hesitated before speaking. Kate caught the gesture in his eyes and called him on it. "What?"

"Move in with me," he said softly before bending down and kissing her neck. Her eyes sparkled as she processed what he had said. She waited for him to look at her face again before she answered him.

"Seriously?"

"Yes," he said with a smile. "You're here all the time anyway."

"Yes," she replied as he leaned down and kissed her again.

**AN: Kinda stuck in the dark stages right now, which is why righting LEA is so hard. But working through it and will get right on that for you guys :-) I hope. Still have that other project to finish. Anyway, let me know. dark rolling sea.**


	9. Part IX: Moving Day

**Disclaimer on Part I.**

**AN: All righty Part IX for you today. It's rather short but acomplishes some stuff. Next chapter is already in my head so as long as my stories don't fight with each other this one and ACH should both be updated soon, still hashing LEA out. Ok! so read, enjoy, tell me what you think. dark rolling sea.

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Part IX: Moving Day

Tony and Gibbs brought in the last two boxes from the car with Kate's stuff in them. They had been moving her stuff from her apartment to his house for two full days now and both were a little tired not to mention slightly cranky. McGee and Abby were busy helping Kate as Ducky was keeping an eye on Gibbs and Tony.

The mood, before the exhaustion, had been joyful. The team was excited that Kate and Gibbs were finally moving past his silly rules and finding the happiness both deserved. Tony was still playing the older brother even though Kate had three real ones back in the Midwest.

Abby was bubbly and talkative around them both, still amazed that they had the guts to open to each other. No one knew the reason behind them speaking the truth. They hadn't told anyone about how Brian had been married. Kate didn't want to tell it just yet, if ever.

Ducky had that knowing smile plastered on his face and it was bugging Gibbs. As Tony took the box he was carrying to where Kate was in the bedroom, Gibbs dropped his on the couch and looked at Ducky.

"What?" he asked closing his eyes and sitting next to the box.

"Oh, just thinking it's about time, Jethro," Ducky said sitting in the recliner.

"About time?"

"This feeling you have for Caitlin, it's not something that just surfaced recently. It's been there for quite sometime. I'm just glad you finally had the stomach to act on it, is all."

"Yeah," Gibbs replied stretching his neck.

"Don't let the fear drive you two apart," Ducky said softly, causing Gibbs to open his eyes.

"Don't worry, Duck, we're past the fear, for both of us," Gibbs replied with a smile playing over his lips. Ducky studied him a moment.

"I've know you a long time, Jethro, through three failed marriages, are you sure you can open up to her? I don't want to see Caitlin hurt."

"Don't worry, Ducky, this time is…different," Gibbs said shaking his head and looking down. It was then they heard Kate yell for Gibbs from the bedroom. Tony came out with a couple empty boxes headed for the car, as Gibbs got up and headed for Kate.

He found her in their room with Abby and McGee going through boxes. She looked up at him when he came in and gave smile. He sat down on the bed over her as she sat on the floor. Abby couldn't help the grin as she watched them interact. Gibbs dropped his hands softly to Kate's shoulders and she looked up at the closest.

"What do you need?" he asked.

"I…need some space," Kate began as she looked up at the top shelf of the closet. Gibbs caught her meaning and stared at his boxes. He needed to move some from up there. He got up and slowly walked to the closest with Kate joining him. Abby and McGee continued to unpack a box of her clothes, as the other two examined the shoe boxes.

Gibbs reached for a few on 'Kate's side' of the closet and pulled them down. He pealed the lid back slightly and shook his head. Kate caught a glimpse of what was inside and snatched the box away from him, setting it on the bed. Gibbs glared at her, but then pulled the next box down. He managed to clear away enough boxes for her as he decided to move them to the basement. He went to grab the box of pictures and Kate stopped him slightly shaking her head. He looked at her for a moment studying her eyes.

"Not that one, that one can stay," she said softly, her hand gently stroking his arm. He nodded and looked at the two boxes Kate had placed on the bed.

"And those?" he asked with a grunt.

"Those are staying too and maybe I'll just take those out of the boxes."

"Kate," he replied with gruff.

"You should be proud of what's in those boxes," Kate countered.

Abby sat back and watched with glee, loving every moment she saw. McGee tapped her and shook his head and pointed to the box in front of them. Abby glared but continued to help him unpack.

Gibbs relented knowing he would lose the argument. If Kate wanted them displayed, they'd be displayed and he couldn't stop her. He sighed before shrugging and turned away from her to take the other boxes to the basement. Once he was from the room, Abby turned to Kate.

"What's in those boxes?" she asked in a whisper.

Kate looked at her with a smile knowing it was killing Abby to know what was inside the boxes. Kate thought a moment of what to tell her, thinking more of what Gibbs would want her to know. For all Kate knew, Abby may already know about the medals, but she didn't know and it wasn't her place to tell her.

"Ask Gibbs," Kate said with a grin before putting her stuff away in the space Gibbs had just cleared for her. The day progressed and Kate's things slowly made their way into the house. They had put her furniture into storage for the time being, until she could figure out what she wanted to do with it.

With all her stuff put away, and the mess cleaned up the team said their goodbyes and finally left Kate and Gibbs alone. They sat on the couch in the basement and stared at his boat for a while, neither saying anything. Kate was snuggled into his side, while Gibbs had his arm securely around her shoulders.

"Abby was curious about the boxes I saved," Kate said sleepily.

"Which boxes?" Gibbs responded with his eyes closed.

"The ones from the closet," Kate countered.

"Did you tell her…"

"No, I thought it would be your place to tell them," Kate said instantly to reassure him. Gibbs opened his eyes, slowly nodding.

"Ok," he said softly placing a gentle kiss in her hair. Kate sighed contentedly before looking up at him.

"You really shouldn't hide that sort of thing, Jethro, you should be proud of it."

"I am proud of it, I just don't show it to the world."

"Like all the NCIS Agent of the Year Awards?"

"DiNozzo has those secure," Gibbs replied.

"But, Jethro, a Silver Star and a Purple Heart are pretty special."

"Yeah, I guess," Gibbs said with a shrug of his shoulders.

"You guess?"

"Kate, listen. It's not that I'm ashamed of them, I'm not. Really, I'm not. I just don't see the point in displaying them," he replied while running his hand up and down her arm. Kate looked into his eyes and smiled.

"Ok, but they still stay up there."

"Fine."

"We need to tell the Director," Kate said changing the subject. A subject they had avoided for quite some time.

"I know," Gibbs groaned.

"NCIS might get suspicious if they're sending both our paychecks to you're address."

"I know," Gibbs repeated.

"Do we tell them together?"

"I'll handle it."

"You sure?" Kate asked looking up at Gibbs.

"Yup," Gibbs said taking a deep breath. "Tomorrow morning."


	10. Part X: A Nightmare

**Disclaimer on Part I.**

**AN: A little more for this one. Have part XI in my head already so should be coming soon. Read, enjoy, let me know. dark rolling sea.

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Part X: **A Nightmare**

Gibbs had had his conversation with the Director almost a month ago. His relationship with Kate was stronger than ever. They had settled into their new living arrangements with little difficulty. They spent much of their time away from work together, separating only when they needed alone time, Kate reading while Gibbs worked on his boat.

Kate had been moved to another team and Gibbs had received Carter Wentworth as her replacement. Wentworth was only five foot seven, weighing in at one hundred and thirty pounds, with short black hair and green eyes. Kate would smile at night when Gibbs would complain about his newest agent. In the end she knew he was just hard up on the new kid, because he was taking her space. She made an extra effort to talk to Agent Wentworth to soothe the man's fears of his new boss.

Tony didn't help matters any as his incessant picking turned from McGee to Wentworth. McGee breathed a sigh of relief, while Wentworth received Tony's attention. Tony insisted on calling the new addition Kid, simply because the man looked so young. As the month wore on, Agent Wentworth seemed to relax into his new position and the team started to function with some degree of normalcy.

Gibbs complained regularly to Kate about the hole her leaving created on his team. She would smile and kiss him then remind him he can only have one way. He always smiled in return and chose her in his home rather than work.

The day started like every other day, they woke and completed their mourning routines, before heading off to headquarters. They said their goodbyes at the door and each headed their separate ways once inside. Gibbs and the team caught a case early in the morning and left for the crime scene.

Kate's team was already working on a hot murder case of a Marine. They were quickly finding the identity and location of their suspect. They finally caught the break they needed and the four Agents rushed into the field to apprehend him.

Their suspect, Randall Parker, did not go peacefully. Kate and her new partner, Morgan Rafferty, took the rear of the house that Parker was holed up in. The other members of the team barged in through the front door. Morgan led the way with Kate on his heels through the back, as they converged on the dug in Parker.

Parker open fired on the Agents coming at him from the front of the house, charging through towards the back. He was surprised to find Morgan and Kate coming at him from the rear. He brought his gun up and fired two quick shots as he diverted down a hallway. The first shot struck Morgan in the vest and spun him to the right. The second shot was lower as Parker had turned to run, and it caught Kate just below her vest.

The force knocked her back and to the right as she slammed into the wall. The burning sensation enveloped her as she was stunned for the moment. Morgan picked himself up with a grunt and moved passed Kate to chase after their suspect. Mark Foster and Kyle Harper, the other two agents on Kate's team, rushed past as well as they corralled Parker in the back. Another gun fight erupted and finally Randall Parker was dead.

Morgan sunk to the ground and struggled to breathe against the intense pain in his chest. He checked the underside of his vest and breathed a sigh of relief that the bullet had not penetrated. Mark and Kyle quickly rushed back into the house to find Kate.

They came up beside her, as she slumped against the wall clutching the hole in upper leg. She was losing a lot of blood and Kyle jumped up to call in paramedics. Mark applied pressure to Kate's leg. Kate looked up at him with groggy eyes.

"Call Gibbs," she said softly as she felt herself growing tired. Mark nodded as he attended to her wound not moving. Kate grabbed his arm and made him look at her. When his eyes fixed on hers she looked at him sternly. "Now."

"We will, Kate, let's get you to a hospital first," Mark said reassuringly as he glanced up at Kyle.

"They're on the way. I'll call headquarters," Kyle said walking over to Morgan. Kate's world faded away from her then as she gave into the exhaustion that was overtaking her.

Gibbs was sitting at his desk when Director Morrow came down the stairs from his office. He quickly made his way to Gibbs' desk and leaned down, looking Gibbs square in the eyes.

"Problem?" Gibbs asked with his gut churning. Morrow looked down briefly, before he took a deep breath.

"It's Kate, Jethro," he said softly so only Gibbs heard.

"What?" Gibbs replied immediately springing to his feet. The sudden movement gained all three of his agents' attention. They all stilled and stared at their boss.

"She took a hit, Jethro, they're taking her to Bethesda right now."

Gibbs didn't reply. He grabbed his keys and his coat before heading for the elevator. He was stepping through the doors when he noticed DiNozzo standing next to him. Neither said a word, riding down to the parking garage in silence. DiNozzo took the keys from his hand with no protest from Gibbs.

Tony could see the anguish and fear in his boss' eyes. He worried about Kate, but was afraid to ask Gibbs what was wrong. The elevator finally reached the bottom level and the two men quickly made their way to the car. Tony looked at Gibbs as they shut the doors.

"Bethesda," Gibbs whispered softly as he absently latched his seat belt. Tony simply nodded and started the car. As they drove, the silence was thick and heavy as Tony concentrated on the road. They finally arrived and Gibbs rushed into the Emergency entrance looking around. He came up to the counter with Tony on his heels.

"I'm looking for Special Agent Kate Todd," Gibbs said quickly. Tony spotted Mark and Kyle standing on the other side of the waiting room and left Gibbs. He approached the other agents with the question on his face.

"She took a round in the leg," Mark said. "Her partner took one in the vest."

"What happened?" Tony asked.

"Went in after Randall Parker and he didn't go quietly. Mark and I chased him from the front and Morgan and Kate came in from the rear when they heard the gun fire. He got off two rounds as he rounded the corner. One hit Morgan and the other Kate. Parker got outside before we were able to bring him down," Kyle added.

"How's Kate?" Tony asked.

"They haven't said yet," Mark replied. Tony turned to watch Gibbs and realized he should rescue the poor woman running the reception desk. He hurried back over to hear the end of Gibbs yelling rant. He grabbed a hold of Gibbs shoulder and pulled him back enough to slide in front of him.

"Go talk to Mark and Kyle," he said sternly. Gibbs leveled calculated eyes at him before he closed them, nodded, and strode towards the two other men waiting. Gibbs stopped in front of Kate's new team and stood silently watching the swing doors.

"She's going to be alright, Gibbs," Mark said with a gentle hand on Gibbs' arm. Gibbs could only nod as he couldn't seem to tear his eyes from the door.

"Heard anything?" Gibbs asked void of emotion. Mark watched the other agent trying to judge what was going on inside his head. Gibbs turned his head to level his eyes on Mark, making the man fight the shiver down his spine.

"No," Kyle said stepping up next to them. "Haven't heard on Morgan either."

"How bad was she hit?"

"One round in the upper leg," Kyle explained while pointing to the area Kate had been shot. Gibbs nodded once as he saw a doctor headed their way.

"Are you the agents from NCIS?" the doctor asked coming through the swing doors and stopping in front of them. The four men nodded in unison, anxious to hear the news. The doctor continued. "I'm Doctor Gary Wilson. I worked on Special Agent Todd."

Gibbs looked up quickly and waited anxiously. He struggled to hold his emotions in check, wanting desperately to be able to go and see Kate. Mark and Kyle each held their breath slightly as they waited for the doctor to continue.

"The bullet went right through and missed the main arteries. She's going to be very sore for a while, and on crutches but otherwise she's doing just fine. She has asked to see Special Agent Gibbs."

"That's me, where is she," Gibbs said taking a step towards the swing doors.

"I'll take you back, just a second. I also have news that Special Agent Rafferty suffered two broken ribs but nothing more," the doctor said before turning and taking Gibbs into the restricted area.

Gibbs rounded the corner and stopped short in the doorway to the room Kate was occupying. She was in the bed, with an IV in one arm, her leg wrapped in white and elevated. He fought with himself to hold the tears in, as he slowly made his way towards her. She turned her head and smiled up at him.

"It's ok, Jethro. I'm ok," she said softly, reaching out her hand. He walked slowly to her and gripped her hand tightly in his. The first couple tears slid down his face and he closed his eyes to stop the rest.

Kate pulled him closer to her and reached up with her other hand, gently stroking his jaw line. He opened his eyes and looked at her, letting his eyes travel from her face to her toes and back.

"I thought I was going to lose you," he whispered. Kate smiled up at him.

"You didn't. I'm ok."

"Luckily," he said as he pulled a chair up and took a seat. He leaned down and kissed her.

"Well I'm off for a while. Then I'll be desk duty for a bit after that, so you can relax for a while."

Gibbs only nodded as he leaned onto the bed with her. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight as she linked her arms around him. They held each other for a while, before Gibbs pulled back and sat down again. He leaned in and brushed her hair behind her ears and stared at her.

"I love you," he whispered as he picked her hand up and kissed the back of it.

"I know, and I love you too," she replied.

"I'll take some time off, Tony can handle the team for a while. I'll stay with you," Gibbs said with closed eyes. Kate reached up and placed her palm against his cheek.

"You don't have to."

"I want to. I need to," he said softly opening his eyes and letting the grin of his relief spread over his face. Kate simply nodded.


	11. Part XI: Taking Him Home

**Disclaimer on part I.**

**AN: All righty! Three chapters for three stories. What a day...all right here is the long awaited Part XI. Its a good one...or so I hope! Tell me what you think! dark rolling sea.

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Part XI: Taking Him Home

Kate had been home just over a week from the hospital and Gibbs had taken indefinite leave from NCIS. Tony had taken over the team in his absence much to the protest of Wentworth. McGee couldn't help but smile, as the new agent cringed when the announcement was made about Gibbs'…vacation.

Gibbs was driving Kate nuts as he wanted to wait on her hand and foot. She had to continually tell him she was capable of taking care of herself. He refused to listen. Aside from him driving her batty, Kate enjoyed the time and attention, she just wouldn't admit that to him.

Kate had fielded numerous phone calls from her family over the last week, all absolutely concerned over her risk on the job. She down played the entire event, telling them it wasn't all that serious. None of them believed her of course, but they left her alone on it.

It was during those conversations that Kate finally mentioned her relationship with Gibbs to her family. Her mother immediately asked Kate to visit home, bringing Gibbs with her of course. Kate said she'd think about it and discuss it with him.

It was later that night when they were eating dinner that Kate brought it up. She was hesitant to speak, not knowing if Gibbs was ready to move this far forward. He read the indecision on her face and called her on it.

"What's on your mind?" he asked softly as he continued to eat.

"Hmmm?" Kate asked feigning surprise. Gibbs looked up at her and smiled shaking his head.

"You heard me, what's on your mind?"

"My mother," Kate replied looking down.

"And?"

"She wants us to visit."

"Us?"

"Yeah."

"When does she want us to visit?"

"Next weekend is their 45th wedding anniversary," Kate said with a small smile.

"I take it that's when she wants us to visit?"

"You catch on quick," Kate said smiling as she reached across the table and took his hand. Gibbs simply nodded his approval and Kate grinned.

"And your entire family will be there," Gibbs said slowly.

"Yeah, even my sister and her family," Kate said with a sigh. Gibbs smiled as he shook his head.

"Ok," Gibbs said with a nod. Kate simply nodded in response and they continued to eat. The next week passed quickly and before he knew it Gibbs boarded an airplane at Dulles International Airport headed for somewhere in Indiana, or at least eventually they would make it to Indiana. Kate had told him their layover would be in Atlanta.

He had no idea where they were going just that Kate called it the middle of nowhere Indiana. When he questioned her why they had to go to Atlanta first, she simply shrugged her shoulders and told him it was how the airlines operated. He shook his head but left the subject alone.

After the two hour layover in Atlanta they were finally on the plane that would take them to a place called South Bend. Gibbs settled in for the flight and caught some sleep while Kate was awake the whole time thinking about her family. She had to admit to herself she was nervous, she couldn't explain why, but she was certainly nervous. She would glance at Gibbs every once in a while and smile, mentally kicking herself for worrying.

She nudged him gently as they were preparing for landing and he looked up at her. She gave him a smile and he sat up and looked out the window. He sighed at the sight. There really was nothing, Kate wasn't joking when she told him about her hometown. He looked over at her and found her simply smiling at him. She reached over and gently squeezed his arm.

"It's not that bad," Kate said softly as the plane pitched slightly as they lined up for the landing.

"Not that bad? Kate, there's nothing down there."

"You'll be fine. Is that what is really bothering you? Nothing down there?"

Gibbs flashed uncertain eyes at her before returning them to the window to watch their decent. He stayed quiet and Kate continued to study him with her eyes. He pursed his lips and then took a deep breath.

"Maybe," he mumbled. Kate smiled.

"My family doesn't bite."

Gibbs raised an eyebrow at her and shook his head, turning back to the window. They both felt the force of the plane coming in contact with the ground and then the braking. Once it was stopped at the tunnel they gathered their belongings and prepared to exit the plane.

As they came in through the gateway Gibbs noticed that the airport was in deed as small as it looked outside. There were two baggage carousels and they were next to the check in counter. He smiled at Kate before he went over and collected their bags.

Once outside Kate pursed her lips and looked around the parking lot. She didn't see her father and she began to worry that he might have forgotten that he had agreed to pick her up. Gibbs came up beside her and dropped the bags on the sidewalk and looked around. To his right was the bus station and to his left was what looked like a train station. He glanced at Kate who saw the question in his eye.

"It's the South Shore," she said simply. Gibbs stared at her like she grew a second head. Kate looked back at him and smiled. "It runs from here to Chicago and back."

"Oh. Who's picking us up?" Gibbs asked as he noticed there didn't seem to be a car rental anywhere close.

"My father," Kate said still searching for him. It was then she saw his truck circling the pickup lane. She waved a hand at him and the truck served into the curb and came to a stop.

"That him?" Gibbs asked sticking a finger out at the truck that had just stopped in front of them.

"Yup," Kate said as a smile crossed over her face. Her father slid from the other side of the truck and came around the front. "Hey, Dad!"

"Kate!" he said coming up and gathering her up in a hug. Gibbs stood awkwardly waiting for them to break apart. He stared at his feet until he heard Kate clear her throat.

"Dad, this is Jethro Gibbs," she said placing her hand softly on his shoulder. "Jethro, this is my dad Justin Todd."

"Nice to meet you," Justin said sticking his hand out. Gibbs took it and firmly shook it.

"Likewise."

"Kate, Mom is waiting for us back at the house. She's very excited to see you. So let's get going," he said as he grabbed some of their luggage and heaved it into the bed of the truck. Gibbs put the rest in and the three of them slid into the truck with Kate sitting between them.

The drive to the house was relatively short as they lived just outside South Bend in the town of Lydick. Gibbs got out of the truck and looked around at the wide open spaces and the fields surrounding and couldn't help but smile. An older version of Kate stepped out of the house and came down the front steps.

Kate looked over and saw her mother and waved with a grin. The older woman smiled in return and walked over to greet them. Kate wrapped her arms around her mom and embraced her briefly before pulling back.

"Good to see you again, Kate," she said warmly, her attention falling on Gibbs pulling some of their luggage from the truck bed as Justin got the remaining bags.

"It's good to be home again, Mom. I'd like you to meet Jethro Gibbs," Kate replied stepping up beside Gibbs. "This is my mom Beth Todd."

"Nice to meet you," Gibbs said with a smile.

"Good to finally hear about you," Beth said with a wink. Gibbs looked at Kate and saw the blush that flooded her face. He couldn't suppress the grin that spread over his face as he nodded slowly at Kate's mom.

"We'll let's not stand in the yard all day. Come on, Mom's got supper on for you, Kate," Justin said ushering them all into the house. Once inside Kate disappeared with her mother into the kitchen leaving Gibbs in the living room of the house with her father.

Gibbs looked around, noticing how nice the living room was put together. It was done in various degrees of greens. The couch was lined across the room splitting it in two as it faced the television. There was a recliner at an angle off the couch also facing the television and a smaller love seat along the wall. The wall itself was lined with pictures of all the kids in various stages of growth. He felt a pair of eyes on him and looked up to see Justin watching him. He smiled.

"So how'd you meet my daughter?" Justin asked plopping himself down in the recliner.

"Work," Gibbs said plainly as he took a seat on the couch.

"Ah, you both work at that government agency?"

"Yes."

"How long you been together?"

"Little more than two months."

"Seem pretty close for just two months."

"We've worked together for over two years," Gibbs said with a smile.

"So why now?" Justin asked. Gibbs eyed the man, trying to read where the questions were going. He could see in the older man's eyes that he was simply curious about the man that had his daughter.

"Things finally fell into place," Gibbs answered plainly with a slight shrug of his shoulders. Justin seemed to accept the answer and they were both quiet as they waited for the women to return.

In the kitchen Kate was being grilled by her mother on her relationship with Gibbs, her job, and the recent injury that she had sustained. Kate continuously rolled her eyes during the conversation, assuring her mother on more than one occasion that she was quite capable of taking care of herself.

"You're limping," Beth said as she chopped some vegetables.

"That happens after you've been shot," Kate replied back, earning her a scolding look from her mother.

"How serious are you with him?"

"His name is Jethro," Kate said with a sigh. Her mother nodded once, but continued to fix supper. "And it's very serious. I'm living with him."

Beth looked up at her daughter slightly surprised. Kate hadn't told her mother that she had moved yet.

"When did this happen?"

"Not too long ago. I'm happy, Mom, that's what counts."

"I know. I grilled your sister about Bradley before she married him."

"Mom, I never said I was marring Jethro," Kate said a little too defensively.

"It's all right, Kate, I see it in your eyes and his eyes."

"See what?"

"You love him and he loves you. That's what matters most in a relationship. Cherish that and never let it falter."

"I will," Kate said with a smile.


	12. Part XII: A Family Affair

**Dislcaimer on Part I.**

**AN: Whoa! Look who finally updated this story! Ok ok so it's not LEA I'm sorry, but it is a Kibbs...I'm trying really I am, but this one was ready so I spat it out. I doing my best now! Ok so hope you like it...let me know. dark rolling sea.

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Part XII: A Family Affair

Gibbs stood alone on the front porch of Kate's parent's house watching. He had hung back most of the afternoon since the hordes of people had shown up. Kate had dragged him around making introductions as people arrived and he had smiled politely, but when it was all said and done he retreated to a corner to simply observe. Kate had been mingling with most of her family for most of the afternoon.

He noticed how she seemed to skillfully avoid her sister, spending most of her time with her brothers or the kids. No one seemed to notice his reluctance to mingle, and all seemed to respect his need to stand on the outside observing. He wondered if Kate had mentioned something to her family, or if it was just a natural disposition for them.

His attention tended to migrate to the children running around the yard, hollering and chasing each other. It was plain to see that they were enjoying the weekend at Grandma and Grandpa's, getting to spend valuable time with cousins they may not see on a regular basis. Gibbs leaned back on the far railing, crossing his arms over his chest as his thoughts drifted. The pain of past memories was threatening to make their presence known as he watched the family come together. He mourned the fact that his had been taken from him so long ago.

His eyes clouded over and his mind drifted away, as he pursed his lips and took a deep breath. He could feel eyes upon him from time to time, wondering if they were talking about his antisocial behavior. It didn't matter to him, but he wondered how Kate felt about his reluctance to intertwine into her family.

He crossed his legs at the ankles and tilted his head to the side, as he watched two girls and a boy race around the corner of the house laughing. His sight drifted out to the grill where Kate's dad and two of her brothers were arguing over how to cook the food. He continued to scan and came upon Kate's mother and sister having a discussion at a picnic table, he wondered if maybe he was the center of their words. Finally his eyes came to rest on Kate, talking to her third brother, laughing and smiling at their shared moment.

He couldn't stop himself from watching one of Kate's nieces. He thought Kate had said her named was Devin but he couldn't remember now, he'd met too many people. She was eight, long brown hair, big soft brown eyes, and a smile that made any heart melt. She was running around the yard, giggling as her older brothers, or maybe cousins, chased her. He shifted against the rail and dropped his eyes from the young girl.

He lifted his left foot, and absently toed at the porch flooring as he internally chastised himself for opening the doors on his emotions. He looked up when he heard the porch steps creak, taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly as he watched Kate stop on the top step, leaning slightly on the railing. She looked at him with worry and he turned his head to the side to look away from her.

She knew something was bothering him, and it made her reluctant to finish the journey to him, knowing that he would most likely shut down on her. She looked out at her family and then back at Gibbs. He was still pointedly ignoring her probing gaze. She came up onto the porch and slowly made her way over to him, stopping a foot from him and licking her lips. She cleared her throat pointedly and watched as he slowly turned his head to look at her. His legs crossed at the ankles again and his arms were still tightly draped around his chest.

"What's wrong?" she asked softly as she reached out a gentle hand. Her fingers closed around his elbow and he looked down at the contact. His eyes then drifted out to the yard as Devin raced around the corner of the house giggling again. Kate followed his gaze waiting for his answer to her question.

"Nothing," he replied plainly. Kate didn't buy it and she tightened her grip on his elbow. He returned his eyes to her.

"Jethro," she said while tilting her head slightly and taking a step closer. She released her hold on his elbow, as she closed the gap and wrapped her arms around his neck. He stared at her as she thoroughly scanned his eyes. "You're sad," Kate continued in a soft whisper. Gibbs leaned back a second and smiled. She really was getting good at reading him, even when he showed nothing.

"Family," he offered as if the single word would clear every thing up. Kate stared at him blankly not understanding his dilemma. He looked down and shook his head, a small smile tugging at his lips. When he brought his eyes back up, Kate was staring intently back at him waiting. He took a deep breath. "You have a wonderful one," he said softly, swallowing to lump in his throat.

"They'd love to talk to you," Kate tried, but Gibbs could only smile at her and look back out at Devin. Kate followed his gaze again and finally started to put things together. "She reminds you of Kelly."

Gibbs brought his eyes back to Kate's and the sad smile on his lips told her she had nailed the problem. Kate nodded slowly, knowing that this was incredibly tough for him. She waited him out, knowing that if she pushed he'd never release the pent up emotion. He finally licked his lips and took a breath.

"Yeah she does. You're lucky," he said closing his eyes. "Sorry."

"Why?"

"I'm not much of a people person."

"I knew that two years ago, Jethro," Kate said with a smile. Gibbs only nodded. "Take you're time, they'll wait you out."

Gibbs smiled and Kate released her hold on his neck. She turned away from him and slowly made her way to the stairs leading back down to the yard. She stopped as she took the first step down and looked back at him.

"You're too good for me," Gibbs said before he knew it. Kate paused and looked at him a long moment, before she replied to him.

"You told me to give my heart to a good man, Jethro. I gave it to you," she said and then walked away from him, rejoining her family. Gibbs rolled her words over and over in his head, knowing she had meant every syllable she had just spoken.

He couldn't help feeling slightly overwhelmed. There truly was something different about Kate Todd and he now knew she wouldn't leave him. She would endure his inability to open up, his gruff manor, and his insecurity in the relationship. She didn't mind that he was a bastard, that he hid things from her. She was ready for the long haul and she wouldn't hurt him. All of this scared him, beyond anything he had ever experienced.

His thoughts were ruptured, as he heard the steps creak again, only this time the creak was much smaller. Gibbs looked up to see Devin standing shyly at the top of the stairs looking at him. She waved at him, swaying gently on her feet from side to side.

She took a step closer, as her arms latched behind her back. She was still swaying back and forth, her shoulders slightly rotating as she came up in front of him. Gibbs looked down at her, his hands dropping to the railing behind him, as his lips curled up in a smile.

"Hi," she said in a quiet whisper, her eyes never releasing his.

"Hello," Gibbs said as she stopped in front of him, causing him to look down. She twisted her lips up in confusion as she stared at him.

"I'm Devin," she said sticking out her hand. Gibbs grinned as he reached down and took her hand gently in his own.

"Jethro," he replied.

"I don't know anyone else with that name," she said shaking her head from side to side; her eyes squinted as she thought.

"Now you do," he replied with a nod.

"You know my Aunt Kate?"

"Yeah."

"How come you're up here? Everyone else is out there," she said pointing towards the rest of the family.

"Just thinking."

"About what?"

"How much you remind me of someone else," Gibbs replied looking down at his feet. Devin's face screwed up in concentrated confusion as she tilted her head to the side.

"Who?"

Gibbs looked down at the small eight-year-old and licked at his lips, biting back the tears threatening to form. He looked over at the swing and motioned for her to join him in the seats. He sat on the left side and she sat on the right, with her knees up underneath her.

"My daughter," he said, the sadness saturating his voice making Devin lean closer to him.

"How old is she?" she asked, her innocence shining through, making Gibbs smile.

"She was eight," he replied watching her eyes for a reaction. Her eyebrows came together on her forehead as she thought about how he had stated it.

"Was? What happened?"

"She died."

"That's sad," Devin replied as she plopped off her knees and climbed into his lap. She wrapped her small arms around his torso and squeezed him. Gibbs' own arms folded around her out of instinct. She didn't say anything more and Gibbs knew he didn't need to continue. She finally pulled back and looked up at him with a smile.

"What?"

"Come on, I'm sure the food is almost done, that is unless Daddy and Uncle Reed let Grampy burn it again," she replied with a giggle. Gibbs smiled.

"Grampy do that a lot?"

"Every cookout," Devin whispered to him with her hands cupped around her mouth. Gibbs nodded his acknowledgement with a grin. "That's why Mommy and Aunt Dawn sent Daddy and Uncle Reed to help."

"Think they did?"

"Prolly not. They just argue about how to cook," Devin replied with a grin. "But Uncle Gabe usually settles the arguments, but Aunt Kate was talking to him."

"Sounds like we might be in for brunt food tonight."

"Wouldn't doubt it," Devin said with a sigh. She then slid from the swing and held out a hand. Gibbs took it and stood up following the young girl off the porch and into the crowd. Kate watched with a smile as the two walked past towards the table.

After dinner was done and everyone was slowly leaving, Kate finally got Gibbs cornered alone. After Devin had dragged him from the porch, he had mingled with the rest of her family, spending the majority of the time with the children. She leaned her head on his shoulder as he wrapped an arm around her waist.

"Have a good time today?" Kate asked while attempting to stifle a yawn.

"It turned out ok in the end."

"I saw Devin drag you into the deep end."

"Yes, she's a great kid," Gibbs replied fondly.

"So everything is ok?" Kate asked picking her head up and looking at him.

"You have a wonderful family, Kate," Gibbs replied leaning down and kissing her. She smiled as he released her.

"Thanks."


	13. Part XIII: Reflections

**Disclaimer on Part I.**

**AN: Here you go the next part. It's a long one and I think you'll like it :-). Let me know. dark rolling sea.**

**Part XIII: Reflections**

Gibbs was back at work after a four week leave. Kate was moving around without trouble again and they both, Gibbs more reluctantly, agreed Gibbs should be back at work. Kate still had at least another week of leave before they would allow her to return.

As much as she was happy to be 'rid' of him, she had to admit she missed him fussing over her. It was something that she had come to live with, and now that it was gone, she realized just how much he had cared.

Gibbs sat at his desk staring at the computer screen. Anyone who looked at what he was staring at would instantly know his mind was not on work. The screen saver danced around the blackness of the screen, displaying the time and date, as Gibbs was inside his head.

The last four weeks had given him some serious insight into his life. After they had returned from Indiana, Gibbs had done some 'soul searching' while taking care of Kate. He had kept his musings from her, but he could tell she knew something was definitely going on inside his head.

Gibbs tumbled and tripped over the emotions he was bombarded with on and after the trip to meet Kate's family. They had accepted him, quirks and all, on his merits. There was no grilling or suspicion, simply a welcome. It was something he never had, a family of magnitude.

Although, encountering the family setting drudged up the locked away memories of his own family, taken from him while he was away, making him mourn once again. Maybe it was time, he thought, to rid himself of the guilt and pain that he kept locked so close to his heart. He pondered if it was finally time to move on…for real.

Yes, he had attempted to move on in the past. He had married three more times after Shannon, all failing miserably. Each ended in a slew of violence and anger, something he didn't mean to happen. He simply could not control it. He was a bastard, plain and simple, and those women did not give what he needed. It wasn't their fault; it was his own, falling for the idea of love instead of love itself. He wanted desperately to replace that feeling he had lost, the image that had been shattered on that day they gave him the news.

The pain harbored, festered, and grew deep inside him, making him turn away the instant they weren't the same. The hard but simple truth was: they weren't Shannon, but with Kate, his mind kicked in, it's almost the same.

More than almost, he thought, it was damn close. The truth of the matter was it scared the hell out of him. He had given up, resigned to the fact that he was destined to live out his days alone and in pain. Then Kate Todd showed up in his life. Everything changed that day and it only continued to change as the web spun around them as time moved on.

The web spun tighter and tighter until that night when she found out about Brian and came running to him. The day he found out that she returned those feelings was a shocking day to say the least. He never expected her to go for a grumpy old bastard, but she had told him to let her decide. He hadn't mentioned it again.

That brought him to this moment. Three and a half months after that rainy Friday night he sat thinking about how much his life had changed in that time span. Things were spinning fast, she was already living with him and he couldn't imagine her ever leaving. His mind continued to spin tightly around his new found life, his newfound happiness.

Kate meant the world to him, and it scared him that she returned the feeling. He worried about losing her, still waking up in a sweat since she had taken the bullet. He had promised her he would not take his own life if something were to happen to her, but he knew it would be devastating to himself if that event ever came around.

That thought led him to her side. He had no idea how she felt about him in the line of fire. He wondered if she had problems or even nightmares about him being on the receiving end of a bullet. It was something they had never discussed and he decided it was a topic that needed exploring. He didn't want to cause her pain.

The more time that passed the more Kate became a permanent fixture in his heart and mind. It was something undeniable, something he wanted to last forever. His lips curled absently as the thought cascaded through his conscious mind, realizing for the first time that he indeed wanted this to last forever. Forever never seemed so short.

"Boss?" came the uncertain call from Wentworth, snapping Gibbs from his thoughts. The smile that had curled on his lips vanished in an instant. The iron wall came crashing down as Gibbs looked up at his newest charge. Wentworth went pale as he looked into the cold blue eyes of his Boss.

"What?" Gibbs asked slightly annoyed at the interruption. They weren't on an active case and Gibbs was wondering what the young agent needed.

"Uh," Wentworth said drawing a blank on what he needed.

"Uh?" Gibbs asked. DiNozzo smirked and ducked his head around his monitor to watch. McGee stood and came around his desk in an attempt to rescue Wentworth. "Sit, McGee."

McGee back tracked and sat down with a cringe. Wentworth's eyes glanced from McGee back to an impatient Gibbs. The young man swallowed hard, sweat starting to pop out on his forehead. Gibbs smiled on the inside, while leaving the cold look on his face. He liked to see the young man sweat a little.

"I, uh, finished the report," Wentworth said shaking his head slightly as he held out the papers for Gibbs. Gibbs glanced at them, then back up at Wentworth with raised eyebrows waiting for the agent to continue. Wentworth stared at Gibbs, deer in the headlights look plastered on his face.

"And?" Gibbs asked. DiNozzo leaned back in his chair and chuckled enjoying the torture. "DiNozzo, you got a problem?"

"Uh, no, Boss," DiNozzo said leaning forward once more pretending to return to work. McGee was hiding behind his computer monitor.

"Wentworth?" Gibbs asked the young man still standing in front of him with report extended.

"Yeah, Boss?" the young man croaked out.

"Do you _need_ something?" Gibbs asked.

"I just…well…the report…"

"Full sentences work much better, Wentworth," Gibbs said the smile finally coming to his lips as he reached out and took the report from the younger man. He watched as Wentworth let out a shaky breath with a slight nod.

Wentworth hustled away to his desk sucking in oxygen as he went. DiNozzo threw a smirk his way shaking his head. Gibbs watched the exchange with tilted head before he barked loudly garnering DiNozzo's attention.

"DiNozzo!"

"Yeeah, Boss," Tony replied once he regained his composure.

"Wentworth and McGee both handed in their reports. Where's yours?"

"Ah, coming, Boss."

Gibbs smiled for a brief second before putting the face back on and turning to his monitor once again. Wentworth glanced at him from the corner of his eye and Gibbs knew he had seen the screen saver dancing. Gibbs didn't care. His reflection was something that was needed. It was his future that he contemplated. The time was ticking by, slower with each passing second.

His time away from work was making this difficult. Being away from Kate wasn't something he liked, especially after four weeks together with little to no separation. He had gotten a lot of work done on the boat, but it was mostly late at night while she was asleep. It was those moments that he had first admitted to himself how much she meant to him. And with each admission he would quietly make his way up to _their_ bedroom and peek in on her while she slept.

He absently heard DiNozzo say he was leaving and waved a hand to dismiss him. McGee left shortly after with a quick goodbye, while Wentworth scampered after him, leaving Gibbs alone. He picked up the reports his agents had finished and put them in the bin to file, before making his way to the elevator and home.

It amazed him that he was leaving while the sun was still shining. The thought made him smile; he had a reason, a _good_ reason, to go home. When he reached the house he came through the doors like usual and stopped when he saw her sitting on the couch reading. Her leg was propped up on some pillows, and she had a throw over her lower half. She glanced over her shoulder with a warm smile before returning to the book.

Gibbs walked to her and bent down, kissing her on the top of the head. He then squatted down next to her waiting for her to look at him. When she finally did a look of confusion come over her face as she saw something she didn't normally get from him.

The look of affection he wore stunned her as she couldn't help but smile. Her smile in turn triggered Gibbs' and the moment stretched. Kate knew he had something up his sleeve and she was a bit curious to know what it was. The moment continued until Kate couldn't take the suspense anymore.

"What?" she said a small laugh escaping. Gibbs leaned in closer.

"You're beautiful," he whispered before capturing her lips with his own. Kate pulled back after the kiss with a smile watching him for any clue as to what had gotten into him.

"What do you have up your sleeve?" Kate asked. She earned a head tilt and a look of innocence from Gibbs. "Now I know something is up."

"A man can't tell his woman she's beautiful?"

"Sure a normal man can."

"Are you saying I'm not normal?"

"Anything but, Jethro, anything but."

"Should I be offended by that?" Gibbs asked putting a hand to his chest with a look of mock hurt. Kate laughed leaning forward to kiss him again. This time the kiss lingered and turned into more than one.

"You're killing me with the suspense, Jethro," Kate said as she kissed him one last time.

Kate watched as Gibbs' playful manor turned serious. She sat back and a look of worry crept across her face. Gibbs instantly reached out and tried to smooth it away, unable to bring the words to his mouth. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes, hoping it would take the edge off his jumbled nerves. When he opened them again he found Kate staring at him curiously.

"Things…I've been…" he tried and cursed himself internally for sounding like Wentworth.

"Jethro, relax," Kate said taking his face in her hands. Gibbs looked up at her and saw the love staring back and him and nodded. Time to plow ahead.

"Kate, things have been…great…wonderful…amazing…lately. I know that I can be something short of bearable to live with and you…you seem to…be in sink. I've shared with you things I've never shared, things I've…hidden for so long. I don't know how you do it, put up with me. But I'm glad you do. I had resigned to a life alone. A life of pain since Shannon and Kelly, but you've changed my outlook," Gibbs said with a steady voice. Kate felt the tears building as she listened to him pouring his soul to her.

"Jethro," she croaked out as the first tear slipped down her cheek. His thumb came up and brushed it away.

"Nothing will ever deter my love for you. I had looked long and hard after Shannon to replace the feelings that I knew then and found only heartache and denial. That is until I stopped looking and you came into my life. You upended me, caught me off guard, and opened me up. Things will never be the same, and I don't ever want them to be."

Kate was speechless when he finished. More tears were streaking down her face as Gibbs swallowed and smiled at her. Kate wrapped her arms around his neck and squeezed him to her, burying her face into his shoulder. Gibbs wrapped his arms around her and they held each for a while, before Kate pulled back from him.

"I love you, and I'll always love you," Kate whispered still unable to trust her voice.

"Kate," Gibbs asked suddenly.

"What?"

"Marry me."


	14. Part XIV: Life's Surprises

**Disclaimer on Part I.**

**AN: Been a while on this one. Kind of hit a wall. Hope this breaks through it. I hope you enjoy it. Let me know. dark rolling sea.**

**Part XIV: Life's Surprises**

Kate lifted her left hand and inspected her ring finger. A smile spread across her lips as she examined the simple gold band sitting directly behind the small diamond. His proposal had been spur of the moment, and when he came two days later with the diamond she was shocked, to say the least. He had smiled softly as he gently slipped it on her finger, as Kate grinned back at him.

Two days after that he took her to the jewelry store, again shocking her. He had simply shrugged his shoulders and continued to browse the collection. In the end it was Gibbs that had found the simple gold bands that now adorned their fingers. She felt his arm come around her waist as she let her hand drop to the bed.

She rolled over so she could face him, watching him sleep. It was something she never got enough of. This was a time when he was relaxed, a time when he was simply Jethro Gibbs. She ran her fingers gently along his cheek before tucking her head into his chest. Listening to his heart beat put a smile on her face as she felt her self being slowly lulled to sleep.

Gibbs knew Kate was watching him when he slipped his arm around her waist. He knew she watched him often when she thought he was asleep. He figured sometimes when she watched him, he truly was asleep, but the times he wasn't he pretended to be. There was something about it that he found soothing. When he felt her body relax and her breathing even out he finally opened his eyes.

She was curled into him now, snuggled tightly against his chest. He couldn't imagine going back to before, ever living his life without her again. He knew now that those three marriages between Shannon and Kate were looking for this. He had fought his feelings in the beginning wondering if it was again the idea of love or actually love itself. But that night he knew it was the real deal. When she ran to him and his heart shattered seeing her crying because of misconceptions of love, he knew.

The ship rolled again and Kate stirred slightly. Gibbs held her tighter to keep the rolling from waking her. Kate had told him she didn't get seasick, but she had been battling it on the cruise they were on. He felt bad for it, felt it was his fault. The cruise was his idea for their honeymoon. Kate repeatedly reassured him that she was fine, but he could tell she was feeling ill.

The rolling subsided and the cabin became still once again. It was their last night on the cruise and he didn't want the fairy tale to end. They would be going back to work on Monday. Two days and the normal world would intrude on their fantasy. But that was ok, he thought. She would still be there when he came home; she would be there when he woke up in the morning.

They would disembark this afternoon in Miami and then catch a flight back to Washington. The ten days had been magical. He knew it wouldn't end either, that this would last a lifetime. He felt his eyes grow heavy again and he gave into sleep.

They had been off the cruise and back home two days. Their vacation was over; they headed back to work this morning. Gibbs had noticed that Kate's seasickness had yet to dissipate and he began to wonder if something else was causing it.

Kate got ready and was waiting by the door when Gibbs came up from the basement. He grabbed a cup of coffee from the kitchen and asked if Kate wanted one as well. When she turned him down he frowned but left it alone. They drove in silence and said their goodbye at the door before heading to their respective teams.

Gibbs' team welcomed him back but then it was back to business as they received a case an hour into shift. Gibbs let Kate know they were headed for Norfolk and that he would most likely be late getting home, and then the team was off.

Kate's team had an easy day and she was grateful. She couldn't shake the feeling that had been plaguing her for a while now. She had originally thought it was simply residual effect from the cruise but now she was beginning to wonder. Things were adding up in her head and she felt a pang of nervousness.

She skipped lunch and munched on crackers in the afternoon. Her team noticed but didn't say anything. They didn't have a case and she was out of the building right at quitting time. She made a detour on the way home and stopped at the store. She stood in the aisle and stared at the display in front of her. She knew she needed to just get one and try it, but she was afraid.

Finally she grabbed a box and made her way to the check out. Once she was home she sat on the couch with a glass of iced tea staring at the box. She didn't know if she should wait for Gibbs or not. He was already three hours late and he hadn't called to say when he would be back. She assumed he was coming home. But that didn't mean the team didn't need to stay overnight, he may have not had the time to call.

She picked up the box unsure of what she should do. She read the directions for the thirtieth time and then set it down, taking another gulp of iced tea. She was starting to feel the effect of the caffeine in the tea and her hands were jittery. She finally pushed herself up from the couch and took the stairs up from the basement two at a time heading for the bathroom.

Gibbs was tired as they drove home from Norfolk. He had let Tony drive as he leaned his forehead against the passenger side window. McGee was sleeping, snoring quietly between them, while was asleep in the back. Gibbs was lost in thought as they headed home.

Home, he thought. Finally one I want to go to again. He was grateful for the upswing in his life. After years of believing he was destined to live the rest of his life in desolation and one night stands, it was heaven to have something more concrete to come home to. There was more than a boat waiting for him, and that made him a little less grouchy. The bastard was still there, just trimmed back slightly. The edges were still rough, just not razor sharp. He was becoming more tolerant, and his emotions weren't always kept under lock and key. McGee and Tony had noticed the change and were delighted by it. There were times when they missed the 'old' boss, but welcomed the new one. He still delivered head slaps when needed, but the viciousness of his bite was not as brutal, and his bark was a little less intimidating.

"We're almost back, Boss," Tony said suddenly, tearing Gibbs from his thoughts. Gibbs lifted his head from the window and glanced at the younger agent over McGee. He then slowly nodded and turned his gaze out the front window.

"Yeah," Gibbs replied.

"I just want to say that I'm happy for you and Kate."

Gibbs looked over at Tony and a small smile slipped across his lips. Tony was still playing the big brother role. "But?"

Tony looked over at his boss quickly before his eyes snapped back to the road. A grin graced his features as he should have known Gibbs would read the undertones of his statement.

"Just don't hurt her."

"Tony, I promise you if I hurt her it's because I'm dead," Gibbs said deadpan and Tony couldn't stop his eyes from leaving the road and sticking on his boss. He looked at Gibbs and knew that the older man was quite serious. Tony could only nod as they returned to silence in the car. Gibbs held a smile on his lips the rest of the trip.

When they reached headquarters he still had the smile on his lips. He nudged McGee as he exited the vehicle and the younger agent woke with a start. He looked around and then slipped from the vehicle. After looking at Gibbs he a look of curiosity came over his face.

"What's with you?" McGee asked before he could stop himself. He cringed and waited for the onslaught but nothing came. Gibbs chuckled and turned, walking away from her. McGee looked at Tony. Tony's shoulders rose and dropped but the smile on his face told McGee something had happened when he was asleep.

Gibbs drove home as quickly as he could. He missed her. He chided himself for letting feelings like that seep through, but then his heart told him it was ok.

Kate put the toilet seat down and sat on it. The test was sitting on the sink and the five minute wait was killing her. Her heart rate was almost double its normal rate, her palms were sweaty, and her hands were shaking. She was excited, nervous, and sick. She didn't know what to think or what to expect.

This was one subject that they never discussed. She knew the pain it brought up for him. She didn't know how she felt about the subject either. She wasn't sure if she was ready, she didn't know if she could handle it. What would Gibbs think? How would he handle it?

The longest five minutes of her life, ticked away agonizingly slow. She heard a car pull into the driveway, still a minute to go. She held her breath, willing the time to pass. She heard the front door open and Gibbs was calling for her. She couldn't answer, couldn't yell to him. Instead she sat, holding her breath, staring at the stick in the sink.

He was looking for her now, and she could hear the worry in his voice. She hadn't made anything to eat; she was too worked up over taking the test. She glanced at the door and then back at the test. He was knocking now, asking if she was ok. She squeaked out a response, and heard as the door knob turned.

Her eyes were locked on the stick as she reached for it. It should show the result soon, it should appear just before her eyes and answer her question. The door opened slowly and Gibbs stuck his head in. She looked up at him and his face fell immediately when he registered the fear and confusion in her eyes. Her hands clamped around the stick, hiding the results of the test, afraid to find out either way.

Gibbs took a couple quick steps and squatted down in front of her. He looked into her eyes and ran a hand down her cheek. When she didn't offer any information he finally broke the thick silence of the room.

"What's wrong, Katie?" he breathed out, fearing the worst. She pursed her lips and then unfolded her hands. Gibbs watched her face a moment longer but was confused even more when a smile crept across her face and tears escaped her eyes. He glanced down at her hands and his heart skipped. He looked back up at her and she held the stick up.

"I'm pregnant," she replied with a grin. She watched his face for a reaction. She watched as a flutter of emotions flashed through his eyes before he settled on a full force grin. He wrapped his arms around her neck and pulled her down towards him. They stayed holding each other for a long time before Gibbs finally pulled back.

"I'm gonna be a dad again?" he asked with joy.

"No it's DiNozzo's. Yes, Jethro," Kate replied with a laugh. Gibbs closed his eyes and tried to calm his racing heart. It had been a long time since he had felt joy like this in his life. He dropped back on his heels and sat there dumbstruck. Kate leaned forward and captured his lips with hers.


	15. Part XV: The Pregnancy

**Disclaimer on Part I.**

**AN: Oh boy another shot on this one! Enjoy and let me know what you think. dark rolling sea. **

**Part XV: The Pregnancy**

Gibbs and Kate had invited the team over one night. It was such a rare occasion that all of them suspected something of the couple. The team had embraced the relationship whole-heartedly and gave as much support to them as possible. Kate was pacing nervously in the living room as the time for arrival was nearing. Gibbs was standing on the bottom step, leaning on the banister, watching her with a smile on his lips. He finally walked towards her and captured her body with his arms, stopping her pacing by dragging her into him. He put his chin on her shoulder, touching cheek to cheek.

"Relax, Baby," he whispered. Kate closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened them she nodded as she breathed out. Gibbs kissed her cheek and then they stood together for a few more moments.

"I don't know why I'm so damn nervous," Kate finally said shaking her head. Gibbs chuckled lightly as he released his hold on her. Kate turned around and faced him, searching for an answer in his face. His smile grew into a grin.

"It'll all be fine," Gibbs replied soothingly. Kate smiled and nodded. She was worried for nothing. Gibbs headed back into the kitchen to finish dinner, and Kate resumed her pacing in the living room. Finally the doorbell rang and Kate hurried over to answer it. She pulled the door open and was greeted with a smiling Tony. He extended his arms for a hug and Kate leaned forward.

"Hey, Kate," Tony said with a smile as they broke apart. "Where's the Bossman?"

"Finishing up the food," Kate replied. "Come on in."

Tony was through the door and Kate was about to close it when she saw McGee and Abby pull in. She stood in the doorway and watched them get out of the car and make their way to the front door. Ducky pulled in right after them, with Wentworth coming about five minutes later. Once the whole team was in the living room and settled, Gibbs made his entrance from the kitchen.

He walked up to Kate and slipped his arm around her waist as the team chattered away. Gibbs looked at Kate and she nodded, drawing the attention of the rest in the room. Abby's face fell into a look of contemplation as she watched the silent exchange between Gibbs and Kate and then her face lit up like a light bulb going off. Kate took a deep breath, but before she could spill the news Abby jumped up from the couching, bouncing from foot to foot.

"Oh! You're pregnant!" Abby blurted out accompanied with a squeal of joy. Kate laughed and nodded as Abby plowed into her wrapping her arms around Kate's midsection. The statement soaked into Tony's brain and he stood up and went to Gibbs with an extended hand. The two men shook.

"My, my, a little one," Ducky exclaimed with the proud smile of a grandfather. McGee stood and walked to Kate, giving her a hug once they pried Abby from around her waist, Wentworth remained seated, a smile on his face, feeling slightly out of place. They ate dinner and talked well into the night as the team celebrated the good news.

A couple months had passed since they broke the news to the team. Kate was showing now and she was restricted to a desk at work. She grumbled a lot, but Gibbs reminded her that hers and the baby's safety came first. She would concede and return to her desk.

Gibbs had become an attentive husband and 'father' as he made sure to take care of Kate. This was even more in depth then after she had been shot, and Kate found herself falling even deeper in love with her husband. Two years ago if someone had told her Gibbs could act the way he did at home, she would have laughed in their face. Now, she relished in the attention that he dolled out.

She had her regular checkups and ultrasounds and Gibbs made as many as he could. There were times that he was out of town on a case, or out catching a killer. Kate understood when he missed, and he generally called as soon as he could to ask her how it went. They were together at a checkup when the orderly asked if they wanted to know the sex. Kate looked up at Gibbs to see his reaction. His face was almost confused so Kate nudged him.

"What?" she asked softly. He looked at her, studying her face for a moment. He then simply shrugged at her.

"It's up to you," he finally said tilting his head to the side. The orderly smiled at them, waiting for their answer. Kate looked down at her belly before looking up at Gibbs.

"What is it?" she asked as her eyes landed on the orderly. The young woman smiled again and moved the wand over Kate's belly looking. Gibbs squeezed Kate's hand as they waited, the orderly finally pointed to the screen.

"It looks like it's a boy," she replied with a smile. Kate felt the tears coming to her eyes as she smiled up at Gibbs. He was grinning at the screen and Kate could see the hope and love he already harbored for the baby in his eyes.

She started to have troubles with blood pressure and her doctor recommended she take leave at work. After some convincing, with the help of Gibbs, Kate agreed to take time off and try to relax at home. Even with this the doctor was having trouble getting it under control. Gibbs was growing worried, but Kate would try to reassure him it was fine.

She had just over a month to go now, and she was starting to have problems with her hands and feet swelling. At her checkup the doctor became concerned with the amount of protein in her urine. She called Gibbs when she left the checkup. She told him what the doctor had said and Gibbs left work to come home to be with her.

She was scheduled to go in a week later for rechecking and Gibbs cleared his schedule to go with her. He left Tony in charge of the investigation and headed for the doctor's office where he met up with Kate. He could see the stress and anguish in her face and tried to sooth her as they walked through the doors.

The problem was, he was having difficulty hiding his own anguish, and Kate was picking up on it. She knew how much this meant to him. It would be a devastating blow to both of them if anything happened. She clamped her hand tighter around his as they came into the room. The doctor came in and did the checkup then disappeared.

Kate and Gibbs were in the office alone for a while, and the silence stretched between them. Gibbs looked up to see the tears building in Kate's eyes and he scooted closer to her, taking her by the shoulders. He pulled her against his chest and held her, as the tears rolled down her cheeks. This was worst thing she had ever experienced.

The doctor finally came back, a clipboard in his hands. He was flipping through multiple layers of paper, reading here and there. Kate felt a pain in her heart as she braced for the news she was about to receive. Gibbs was trying desperately to contain his own emotions. He knew he had to be strong for Kate now.

"We've detected Preeclampsia," the doctor said quietly looking at Kate. She didn't respond. She watched the doctor waiting for further explanation. "That's what's causing your high blood pressure, swelling, and the high protein count in your urine."

"How bad is this?" Gibbs asked leaning forward on the chair he was using. Kate looked at him with fear in her eyes.

"We don't know what causes Preeclampsia, and there is no specific treatment for it. It can be fatal if left untreated," the doctor explained. Kate let out a startled squeak and Gibbs gripped her hand.

"What can we do?" Kate managed to breath out, her eyes frantic. Gibbs felt his gut tighten.

"The only way to ensure an end to Preeclampsia is child birth," the doctor continued.

"She still has a month to go," Gibbs said through gritted teeth as he closed his eyes.

"I know that. We may not be able to wait a month," the doctor replied. "But if we let this go and don't do anything about it, it can result in death for both Kate and your baby."

Kate felt the tears wet her cheeks as she looked over at Gibbs with wild eyes. He felt his own tears building in his eyes as he pulled her to him once again and held her. The doctor waited a moment before he continued.

"We can take the baby early. He's far enough along to have a chance," the doctor said.

"A chance?" Gibbs almost roared. His anger was growing now, and it didn't matter who took the brunt of it. "A God damned chance? What the hell does that mean?"

"Please, Mr. Gibbs, understand. It's the best line of treatment we can do. There is a very good chance that he will be fine and so will Kate."

"But he could die," Gibbs said in a voice almost sounding like a growl. Kate patted his hand to try to calm him.

"If we let her go full term they may both die," the doctor replied in a calm voice.

"What do we do?" Kate asked in a voice just barely above a whisper. The doctor looked from Kate to Gibbs and back again. He looked down at the chart in front of him briefly before bringing his eyes back up to meet Kate's.

"We deliver the baby early," the doctor replied with a nod. "We'll set up to induce labor, and be ready for any problems that may arise."

"How soon?" Kate asked weakly. Gibbs was starting to feel sick.

"You have about five weeks left for a normal gestation period, so within in the next week or so we'll have to take care of this."

Both Kate and Gibbs nodded and the doctor stood to leave the room. Once he was gone, Kate looked over at Gibbs and started to sob. Gibbs stood and held her tightly to him as she cried into his chest. When he felt her calm a little he let her pull back enough that she could look up at him.

"I'm scared," she whispered to him. He nodded as a few tears escaped and rolled down his cheeks.

"I know," he answered as he bit at his lower lip. He sat down heavily into the chair as his body felt completely drained. His emotions were rampaging through him, sucking the energy from his body.

The week passed slowly as they both struggled with what was to come. Finally they were at the hospital, waiting for it all to start. Gibbs had taken a week leave from work, and told the team he would call once it was all over with the news. They were all upset over the turn of events and had been wonderful over the course of the week with their support.

Kate was given the drugs to induce labor and left in the room as the doctors and nurses went on about their other duties. Gibbs sat next to her bed holding her hand as they waited. The television in the room was on, but neither one was actually watching it. Time seemed to stop, as they waited for the drugs to work.

Early the next morning Kate was in labor. Gibbs was by her side as the process started. It was all progressing as it should until Kate's breathing slowed dramatically. She had a minor seizure and then the monitors were blaring with alarms. The doctors were frantic as they started to work on Kate and the baby. Gibbs felt his chest tighten as he watched the horror unfold in front of him.

Suddenly someone grabbed him by the arm and was dragging him from the room. By the time his mind realized what was happening, he was on the other side of the door and being pushed into a waiting room. It was too late to fight back and he gave in. He looked at the nurse escorting him with pain and fear in his eyes.

"We'll come get you as soon as we can. Right now we need to work to save her and the baby," the nurse explained. Gibbs could only nod as he stood in the middle of the waiting room with tear stained cheeks. He could barely breathe. He pulled his cell phone from his pocket and turned it on against hospital regulations. He called Ducky.

"Hello, Jethro," Ducky's happy voice came over the phone.

"Duck," Gibbs breathed out as he struggled to get air into his lungs.

"Jethro, what's wrong? What's happened?" Ducky asked frantically. Gibbs closed his eyes and let the tears flow down his face unabated.

"It's Kate, Ducky," Gibbs managed to choke out with shuttering breath.

"I'm on my way," Ducky replied and then Gibbs was holding a dead phone to his ear. He dropped it onto the table top and flopped heavily into one of the chairs as he waited for the worst. Different scenarios continued to run wild through his mind, and none of them had a happy ending.

**AN: so how many of you hate me right now? **


	16. Part XVI: The Long Road Ahead

**Disclaimer on Part I.**

**AN: Ha, yes I love to torture my readership :-P. Come on you know you love reading stories like that :-). Ok here we go…on to the story. Let me know what you think, dark rolling sea.**

**Part XVI: The Long Road Ahead**

Ducky walked into the waiting room where he had been instructed Gibbs was at and his heart broke. Gibbs was in a chair, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, face buried in his hands. Gibbs glanced up when he heard a disturbance, and his eyes were blood shot and puffy, the look of a man who had been crying. His will seemed to be broken, as Ducky locked eyes with the younger man. Ducky rushed forward and took the chair next to Gibbs, draping a protective arm over his shoulders.

"What's happened?" Ducky asked. Gibbs took a shuttering breath as he braced himself to say out loud the horrors of the day.

"The delivery went bad, Duck," Gibbs whispered.

"How so, Jethro?" Ducky asked concerned.

"She was fine, she was doing good, then…then she had a seizure and her breathing slowed and the monitors were making so much noise," Gibbs explained. "Then they kicked me out."

"I'll find some news, Jethro, I'll be right back," Ducky said getting up. He was stopped when Gibbs grabbed his wrist and held on.

"I can't do this again, Ducky, I can't lose them again," Gibbs said in a pained voice as the tears came down his face. Images of Shannon and Kelly mixed with those of his life with Kate. Everything became one jumbled gigantic mess in his head. The tirade of emotion was explosive, as he felt the tinge of light headedness. Ducky looked down at his friend with confusion on his face.

He had no idea what Gibbs was talking about. He squatted down in front of the broken man and patted his knee reassuringly. Once Gibbs looked him in the eye, Ducky took a deep breath and smiled gently at him.

"Everything will be fine," Ducky said with another pat of his hand. Gibbs was not convinced. Ducky stood and hurried from the room as Gibbs buried his face in his hands again. His stomach was in knots, as it twisted and churned with each thought. His mind was running at the speed of light, tossing images of the past mixed in with the present, confusing him. His lungs seemed to have been encased with concrete as he struggled for each breath, and his head seemed to be fading in and out of reality.

He was a train wreck and he knew it. Everything that meant something to him was in that room, in the hands of those doctors. He oozed out of the chair and landed on his knees in front of it, as his body shook with fear and pain. Exhaustion was the next stage; it was on the verge of attacking as he rocked back and forth on his knees. He had no idea how much time had elapsed before Ducky reappeared in front of him.

He simply felt pressure on his shoulder, and brought his eyes up to see Ducky looking back at him. He saw the deep concern in his friend's eyes. He regained a little bit of control over his raging emotions as he sat back on his heals and waited for Ducky to speak.

"I spoke with a nurse that was working on Kate and the baby. Her Preeclampsia has transgressed into Eclmapsia. That is what triggered the seizure and her breathing to stop. They had to do an emergency c-section to get the baby out. That's all she knew."

Gibbs leaned forward and buried his face into Ducky's shoulder, almost knocking the older man down. Ducky wrapped his arms around Gibbs once he regained his balance and held the man for a moment. He had never seen Gibbs in such a state. Gibbs was shaking with each breath as he leaned more weight onto Ducky.

"Twice," Gibbs whispered. Ducky leaned away from him, holding Gibbs by the shoulders to keep him from falling forward. Gibbs sensed the support gone and leaned back onto his legs again. He opened his eyes and stared at Ducky in front of him.

"What do you mean, Jethro?" Ducky asked, his voice dripping with confusion. Gibbs' eyes clouded over with memory.

"In '91 I lost my family, Ducky. They were taken away from me."

"When you were in Desert Storm?"

"Yes," Gibbs breathed out, making it sound almost like a hiss.

"Jethro," Ducky said in a soft voice, trying to console his friend. His hand gripped Gibbs' shoulder gently.

"They were murdered. God, Ducky, I can't lose Kate."

"She's a fighter. She'll be ok," Ducky reassured him. Gibbs could only swallow and nod as he fought to remain on the cliff's edge. He was so close to teeter over into the canyon below. His nerves were raw from emotional overload. He nearly jumped to his feet, battling the wave of blackness that passed in front of his eyes, and the dizzying spell that made him sway on his feet.

He closed his eyes briefly before focusing them on the man that had just entered the room. Ducky stood and came up next to Gibbs' shoulder. They waited with great anticipation for the doctor to speak.

"I'm Doctor Nathan Zacori," the man said with a small smile. Gibbs simply stared at him waiting for him to continue. "I was part of the trauma team that treated your wife and son."

"How are they?" Gibbs asked in a whisper. He felt like he was walking on cracking glass. One wrong move and he would tumble to the depths of the unknown as the glass broke away.

"We had to perform an emergency c-section on your wife. The baby was removed and is currently in the NICU."

"He's alive?" Gibbs breathed out in relief.

"Yes. We are doing everything in our power to treat him. Your wife is also in recovery right now," the doctor continued with a smile. Gibbs closed his eyes and brought his hand up to his face. He rubbed it all along his features a few times before it dropped to his side.

"Can I see them?"

"You can see your wife. I'm afraid it might be awhile before you can visit your son."

"Why?" Gibbs asked. The pain in his voice and eyes was piercing. The doctor looked down for a moment before locking eyes with Gibbs once more.

"We're still doing our very best to keep him stable and get him the proper care. He is a month early as you know, and there were complications during the birth. I'll get you as soon as it is possible for you to see him," Doctor Zacori replied before motioning for Gibbs to follow him out of the room.

He led Gibbs to a private room and opened the door for him. Gibbs was inside before he realized that Ducky was no longer with him. He figured he had stayed behind in the waiting room. When Gibbs looked at Kate in the bed his heart nearly broke. She was still unconscious, but he didn't know if it was induced or not. He went to her side and pulled a chair to the bed. He sat down and grabbed her hand, bringing it to his lips for a kiss.

He sat with her, holding her hand for hours, waiting for word on his son. More tears ran down his face as he tried to understand why this had happened to them. Kate was still unconscious and he was beginning to see worry in the nurses faces that continued to check on her. He finally stopped one as she was about to leave.

"She should be awake by now, shouldn't she," he said in a shaky voice. The nurse stopped, turned, and looked him in the eye. He saw the sympathy in her smile.

"It's still early, Mr. Gibbs," she replied. She then walked from the room without another word. Gibbs laid his head on the bed next to Kate and closed his eyes. He couldn't sleep. He still hadn't seen his son, and his son was now almost seven hours old. He was beginning to think the doctor had lied to him.

He hadn't seen Ducky since he left the waiting area and didn't know if he had gone home or was still waiting. Gibbs felt the cramping in his back, and knew he should get up and stretch, move about. But he couldn't bring himself to leave Kate's bedside. He didn't want her to wake up without him there. He felt his eyes finally growing heavy as his lids slipped down. His sleep was fitful and full of terror, and he jolted awake only an hour after he fell asleep. He looked up at Kate and blinked a few times. She was staring back at him.

He pulled his head up and reached out with his hand, stroking the side of her face. He saw the tears forming in her eyes and couldn't stop his own. She looked around the room frantically and Gibbs knew what she was looking for.

"He's still alive," Gibbs whispered as he kissed her hand again. Kate looked at him with wild eyes as the words soaked in. "He's in the NICU; they won't let us see him yet."

Gibbs voice was shaking terribly and he hated it. He had only felt this weak one other time in his life and it had almost caused him to take his life. He took a deep breath as he watched her process the new information.

"Is he ok?" Kate asked as the tears slipped down her cheeks.

"They are doing their best," Gibbs replied. "He's fighting to live."

Kate shifted in the bed and winced. Her face became a blanket of confusion and Gibbs leaned forward. He stroked her cheek again as he spoke to her.

"They had to do a c-section, Kate. I almost lost you."

Kate watched his eyes as he said the words and saw the horrendous pain he had gone through this day. She reached out and cupped his jaw. He leaned forward and captured her lips gently with his own before sitting back into the chair and grasping her hand.

"What happened?" Kate asked. Gibbs could see the great effort it was for her to talk to him.

"Shh, not now," he soothed at her. "You need rest."

Kate was about to protest when Gibbs put his fingers gently over her lips and shook his head. She stilled in the bed and nodded once. She felt the fatigue coming on and looked around the room. A nurse was coming in through the doors.

"Welcome back, Mrs. Gibbs," she said with a smile. "You gave us quite the scare."

"My baby," she asked pleadingly. The nurse looked at her and nodded.

"He's doing as well as could be expected in the NICU. The doctor will let your husband see him shortly, but you need to stay in bed."

"Can you bring him here?" Gibbs asked when he saw the pain in Kate's eyes.

"Sorry, but he has to stay in Intensive Care."

Kate started to cry again and Gibbs did his best to soothe her. Soon a doctor came in and led Gibbs to see his new son. He struggled to keep it together when he saw him, so small and fragile. He was in completely enclosed in an incubator with lines and tubes going into him. His four pound body was so tiny that Gibbs felt a strong need to protect him.

Machines surrounded the little boy, keeping track of his vitals, and helping to maintain his life. Gibbs felt his knees go weak as he approached his child for the first time. He looked around the room and saw many other parents in the same boat as him. He looked back at his son and felt the tears coming to his eyes again. He couldn't hold him and it pained Gibbs. He couldn't even touch his son. He put his fingers gently against the glass surrounding him and took a deep breath.

A nurse put a chair next to him and Gibbs gladly took a seat. He stayed there for half an hour watching his son sleep. The nurse came up beside him at one point and wrote notes into the chart for Baby Boy Gibbs. She smiled reassuringly at Gibbs, but it didn't make him feel better. She waited a moment as if hesitant to speak to him.

"What's his name?" she asked softly. "We liked to call them by name in here."

Gibbs looked up at her bewildered. She was the first person to ask what they were going to call him. He thought about the discussion he and Kate had had over the past month. They had only settled on a name the day before they came to the hospital.

"Colton. Colton Todd Gibbs," he replied as his eyes settled on his son again.

"That's a nice name," she replied and then wrote it on the chart before putting it back in its place and moving on to the next one.

Gibbs stood and walked back to Kate. She was asleep, curled on her side hugging the railing of the hospital bed. He slipped in on the other side of the bed and softly wrapped his arms around her. They had a long road ahead of them, but he was sure the three of them would be all right.


	17. Part XVII: Coming Home

**Disclaimer on Part I.**

**AN: Here I come again…yep writing again. Hope you enjoy. dark rolling sea.**

**Part XVII: Coming Home**

Kate stood in the middle of the NICU at the hospital. A month and a half ago she had delivered a son. She held him for the first time today. Her eyes filled with tears of joy as she cradled him in her arms. He was tiny. Although he had gained a considerable amount of weight, he was still extremely tiny for a baby his age.

Kate looked up at Gibbs with a smile that spoke volumes and Gibbs felt his heart lift to a new level. He had not felt this emotion for what almost seemed like a lifetime and he embraced it whole heartedly now. He stepped closer and draped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her and the baby close to him. They both stared down at their son. He would be going home in a few days.

It was a miracle for both of them. The road in the hospital had been an emotional rollercoaster as their son battled for his life. In the end, with a Gibbs and a Todd for parents, he came out on top. The tiny baby had earned his spot in the hearts of many as he struggled to survive the first month of his life.

Now as Kate and Gibbs held their son for the first time, there were many teary eyes moving around them going about their daily business. Kate rocked back and forth slightly, and Gibbs moved with her as they savored the moment. Gibbs leaned in and kissed Kate gently on the cheek, leaving his cheek touching hers as he turned to look at his son.

Gibbs had gone back to work a week after Colton had been born. Kate had yet to return. She was running out of maternity leave and she had yet to decide if she was going to return to work or not. They had avoided the discussion at home, focusing on Colton for the time being, but they both knew it was a conversation that needed to happen.

Colton Gibbs was finally released from the hospital two months after he had been born. Gibbs unbuckled the car seat from the back seat and carried his sleeping son into the house for the first time. Kate was following behind him. As they came into the house Ducky, Abby, Tony, and McGee were all sitting scattered about in the living room. Gibbs set Colton down gently in front of the couch and wrapped his arm around Kate.

"He's soooooo cute!" Abby cooed over the baby.

"Yeah," Gibbs said softly with a smile. Tony sat down next to Abby looking down at the baby.

"Hey there, little guy," he said gently as he leaned forward on his knees. He then looked up and grinned at the couple. "He's a nice mix of you two."

"Thanks, DiNozzo," Kate said smiling while shaking her head. Tony grinned wider and then returned his attention to the little one, while making noises. McGee watched from the chair across from the couch and smiled.

"Congratulations you guys," McGee said. Both Gibbs and Kate nodded towards the younger man. Ducky then stood and walked to Kate, stealing her away from Gibbs so he could embrace her.

"It's so wonderful! Finally something stable for Jethro," Ducky said as he let go of Kate and looked up at Gibbs. Gibbs gave him a look before a smile broke out. The team stayed for a while before they called it a night.

Kate was feeding Colton upstairs while Gibbs worked on his boat in the basement. He finally decided to call it a night and headed up. When he came to the top of the stairs he stopped and simply observed Kate and his son. His son, his wife, it was all still so new to him. Sometimes he still had trouble understanding all that had happened in the time since that fateful night she came to him.

He pushed the thoughts from his mind and concentrated on the scene in front of him. He couldn't stop the smile that his lips curled into as Kate talked softly to their child. She eventually lulled the boy to sleep and looked up finding Gibbs watching her. She stood slowly and moved Colton to his crib as Gibbs followed her through the house.

He was leaning in the doorframe of the room when Kate turned around and stopped. She noticed the look on his face and knew they needed to talk. She walked past him, brushing against him as she went. He watched his son for a moment longer before he turned and followed her to their bedroom. He found her sitting on the bed staring at her hands clasped in her lap. He came in and sat down next to her, reaching out and taking her hands in his own.

"Kate?" he asked hesitantly.

"I don't know if I want to go back to work, Jethro," she replied softly looking down at their joined hands. He waited and she finally looked up at his eyes. He saw the struggle that she was waging internally. He let go of her hands and draped his arm across her shoulders, pulling her to his side.

"That's something that you need to decide," he answered. She pulled her head back slightly and looked up at him before resting it against his shoulder once more.

"I'd like to know what _you_ think about it."

Gibbs closed his eyes and put his thoughts in order before replying. "Kate what I think doesn't really mat…"

"No, Jethro, please just tell me what you really think," she said, hating the pleading sound of her voice. Gibbs swallowed and nodded slowly.

"I think it's what you want that matters. I don't mind if you want to stay home. We have enough to support us on my income, it won't be a problem. But if you want to return and go back into the field we can work something out too."

"You really mean that?"

"Of course, Kate. It's whatever will make you happy. We'll deal with the situations as they come."

"So if I decide to give up my career you won't feel guilty?"

Gibbs looked down at her in confusion. He watched her eyes, searching for the meaning behind her words. She stared back at him with mixed emotions.

"Guilty? Never, Kate," he said as he bent down and kissed the top of her head.

"Someone should be here with Colton; I think I don't want to go back. At least not until he is older."

"I think that's a good idea."

"I'll have a talk with the director."

"You want me to come with you?"

"No, I'll do it. But thank you," Kate replied snuggling closer to him. He leaned back taking her with him. They lay on the bed for a while and Gibbs noticed Kate's breathing even out. He stayed awake, unable to fall asleep as he thought about all that was going on in his life.

He looked over at the night stand, his eyes falling on the picture of Shannon and Kelly. He smiled at it, knowing that his days of mourning were past, even if the pain and grief stayed with him. He turned back and watched Kate sleep knowing that he was blessed once again.

His thoughts were interrupted by crying in the other room. He gently removed himself from Kate and hurried from the room into Colton's. He picked up his son, holding him close to his chest as he walked down the stairs. After fixing a bottle and heating it he made his way down to the basement and lay under his boat with Colton nestled in his arm, sucking on the bottle.

"This is the boat, Little Man. I'm building it, and when you get big enough, you can help me too," Gibbs said softly. He watched as his son's eyes slowly drifted shut, as half the bottle disappeared. Soon the infant was fast asleep again, and Gibbs set the bottle aside. Afraid of waking him, he stayed under his boat and closed his eyes as well.

Kate woke with the early morning sun. She felt the bed, finding it cold she sat up and looked around. She went to the baby's room and found the crib empty. A slight pang of panic hit her, but she managed to quell it as she made her way down stairs. Not finding him on the main floor, she opened the basement door and made her way down the stairs. The sight that greeted her stopped her in her tracks as she rested against the railing. Gibbs was sound asleep under the boat with Colton tucked tightly too him on his chest, also asleep. She took in the sight of her two boys and knew that things would be all right.

She would give up NCIS, at least for now, but she would gain her family in return. A family she had always dreamed off. She never expected it from Gibbs, which is why she had fought those feelings for so long. It had taken her getting her heart broken before she realized, he wanted it just as much as she did.

Now he was asleep with their son on his chest, in their house. She finished walking down the steps and walked to the couch, lying down on her side. She watched her two boys sleep until she joined them in slumber. Her last thoughts were that she had finally come home.


	18. Part XVIII: Firsts

**Disclaimer on part I.**

**AN: So long between parts! I'm so sorry! I just totally lost this thread and couldn't for the life of me get it back. That and my original work is taking off and I'm paying more attention to it…but alas today I work on this one! Enjoy and tell me what you think. So much for a one shot lol. dark rolling sea.**

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Part XVIII: Firsts**

Kate's discussion with the director had gone well, in Kate's opinion. She had explained how she felt and what she wanted to do. The director had understood, asked her not to leave, but in the end she turned in her badge and gun. Both Gibbs' team and her team threw a party on her last day, one that was interrupted when Gibbs' team had a scene to process.

She had struggled at first to settle into a life as a stay at home mom, but the older, and more mobile, Colton got the more she had her hands full. She was always cleaning, doing laundry, or just plain chasing around the crawling monster that was their son. It took her a while but she eventually settled into, and started to immensely enjoy her new life.

Colton was into everything. She had Gibbs 'baby proof' the house, but either he didn't do a good job, or their son was smarter than both of them. He still managed to get into things he wasn't supposed to and when Kate would yell at him, the boy would simply sit on his haunches and grin at her.

"You're just like your father," she would tell him before scooping him up and 'imprisoning' him in the walker. He would play aimlessly with the toys he could reach before he would grow bored and start to move the walker around the room. It was during his naps that Kate really got anything done. But she couldn't complain and each night when Gibbs would come home, she wouldn't.

Time started to mold and mend and fly together. Colton continued to grow and the doctors had warned them to expect delays in his development, but true to form the little boy wowed all the experts. He was right on schedule for most of the big accomplishments in an infant's life. He was fairly young when he started babbling, his first word being momma.

Kate had called Gibbs instantly and babbled incoherently for a couple minutes before he could calm her down enough to explain to him, in English, what had happened. He felt the sting of pride hit him as he smiled widely on the other side of the phone.

They had been in the basement when Colton was a mere eleven months old one night. Gibbs was busy working on the boat that was nearing completion, while Kate sat on the couch reading a magazine. Colton was playing quietly at Kate's feet when something caught the boy's attention.

He watched his father move about the wood with intrigue, before he unsteadily rose to his feet. He swayed a bit before he took a few quick steps forward. His balance was off and his arms shot out from his body, but he was unable to catch himself. Gibbs' happened to turn just as Colton took a fourth step and began to tip forward. His arms flew out towards his son, but he was too slow.

Colton landed flat on his face and let out a howl of surprise and pain, causing Kate's head to snap up with concern. Gibbs was already off the stool and on his knees next to the boy with a smile on his face. Kate looked at him quizzically as she stood and walked slowly over to the two of them.

"You're ok, Buddy," Gibbs said as he scooped Colton into his arms and sat him on his legs. Colton looked up at him with tear stained cheeks and wet eyes as the crying stopped. Gibbs looked up at Kate. "You see that?"

"See what?" Kate asked.

"He took steps. Four of them," Gibbs said with excitement and pride. "And the doctors said you would be slow."

Kate couldn't contain the laugh that escaped after Gibbs' comment. Gibbs then stood with Colton on his hip and walked to the boat. The toddler reached out with a small hand and touched the smooth surface of the wood before looking up at his father with a smile. Gibbs set the boy down on unsteady feet and watched as his son looked at the tools lying on the bench.

Colton reached a wobbly hand out and wrapped his tiny fingers around a plane sander, or at least as much as he could. The boy tried to lift the tool but it was too heavy and it crashed to the floor loudly. Colton looked up at Gibbs, the worry in his face evident. Gibbs squatted down and patted the toddler on the head before picking up the sander and the boy.

He moved the stool around to the other side of the boat and sat Colton down on his lap, holding the sander out in front of him. The boy looked up hesitantly before he grabbed at the sander with both hands. Kate stood leaning against the boat watching, a small smile playing over her lips. Gibbs wrapped his arms around the boy and moved the sander slowly up and down with Colton gripping onto it.

The boy smiled while looking up at Gibbs. The proud father couldn't help the grin that expanded over his face. Kate walked up behind Gibbs and put her hand gently on his shoulder as he and the boy continued to move the sander at a slow pace. Gibbs looked up at her and she smiled down at him with a nod. She then walked to the stairs and left the two alone in the basement.

It wasn't much longer before Colton was speaking in full sentences; well at least Colton thought so. His speech was becoming more and more understandable and his personality was growing leaps and bounds with each passing day. Gibbs was keeping better hours than ever before, without Kate ever mentioning anything. When she asked him about it, he simply smiled and told her he had a reason to leave the office now.

Colton's second birthday was nearing and the toddler was in full swing. He was talking, walking, and causing all kinds of mischief. Kate was visiting headquarters regularly, and when she didn't come regularly the team seemed to show up unexpectedly to visit her and the boy. She asked Tony about it once during a visit.

"It's nice of you guys to drop by," Kate had said with a smile.

"We miss you, Kate," Tony said bouncing Colton on his knees. The boy laughed and grabbed at Tony's shoulders.

"Besides, the boss said," McGee began before Abby smacked him. "Ouch."

"What did the boss say?" Kate asked the smile on her face giving away the mock stern in her voice.

"Nothing, Kate, we just miss you!" Abby replied bubbly. Kate shook her head and looked at McGee.

"He thought you'd like some company," McGee said as he raised his forearm to block Abby's next attempt to hit him. Kate smiled and nodded.

"Thank you all for coming," Kate continued. "I really appreciate it, and Colton really likes to see you all."

Ducky and Gibbs had come in shortly after and the team had gone out for dinner. Kate had enjoyed the time together, in the company of other adults, but she didn't regret her decision. After getting Colton asleep that night she joined Gibbs in the bedroom. He watched her for a while before she looked at him expectantly.

"What?" she asked after he refused to voice his opinion.

"You don't regret leaving do you?" Gibbs asked softly.

"NCIS? No," she said quickly watching his face. "You don't feel guilty do you?"

He hesitated before shaking his head no. She watched his eyes for a moment before she leaned down and kissed him gently. He looked down at his hands but didn't answer her further.

"Don't feel guilty, Jethro," she said softly. He looked up at her and smiled with a slight nod. She smiled at him taking his hand pulling it to her stomach. "I'd have to take leave anyway."

She watched his eyes as it suddenly dawned on him what she was telling him. He looked up at her, back at his hand on her stomach, and to her face once again. The sparkle in his eye made Kate grin, noting the happiness he showed.

"Again?" he asked in a whisper. She simply nodded the sparkle in her eye something magical to Gibbs. He pulled her down onto the bed and draped himself over her. He leaned down and kissed her.

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A/N: There you go, finally got another part out. Should be more coming soon! I know this one was short, but I promise more to come in the next couple parts. And always love to hear from you guys. Later. dark rolling sea.**


	19. Part XIV: Family

**Disclaimer on Part I.**

**AN: Here's another sliver of the world in my mind. Moving along now, hope you are enjoying. Leave me a note, dark rolling sea.**

**Part XIV: Family**

It was at Colton's second birthday party that Kate and Gibbs broke the news about the new pregnancy to the rest of the team. Abby had bounced in place up and down, squealing with joy. McGee had smiled and nodded at Kate; Tony had given her a hug and shook Gibbs' hand. Ducky had launched into a story he had been reminded of, but Colton stole the spotlight.

Gibbs couldn't believe the life he had now; such a short three years ago he had been miserable and resigned to a life of loneliness. Now, he had a loving wife, a handsome son, another child on the way, and a family that supported him in his team. He still kept the picture of his first family in the bedroom, watching over him, never forgetting them. The pain was bearable now, and he and Kate openly discussed his past when it was just the two of them.

He had opened up so much in the last three years, at least with Kate. Gibbs was still the bastard at NCIS, a hardass that got what he wanted, when he wanted, from whoever he wanted it from. He had won NCIS Agent of the Year again this past year, but this time, Kate made him go to the ceremony. He had protested, but in the end she won.

Everyone had been shocked, but Gibbs had given them a small smile, said his thank you, and then made his way out into the hallway. Kate met him with a grin as she watched him staring out the window, medal loosely grasped in his hand. She walked up beside him wrapping an arm around his waist. His gaze never faltered. They stood in silence for a moment before Kate spoke.

"I'm proud of you," Kate whispered. He looked down at the box containing the medal in his hand.

"Yeah," he gruffed.

"Not for winning it," Kate continued. Gibbs looked up at her confused.

"For showing up," she said leaning in and kissing his cheek. She then turned and left him alone in the hallway, rejoining the ceremony. Gibbs stood at the window a while longer his gaze alternating from the box in his hand to the scenery outside. He finally cracked a grin and turned, heading back into the crowded room.

The pregnancy progressed, with Gibbs spending his huge stock pile of vacation and personal days to be with her. The first visit he went with her had been the scariest and hardest in Gibbs' opinion, and he could only try to imagine what Kate went through. The doctor had warned them thoroughly that day.

"Kate, Jethro," Dr. Teller greeted them. Both had simply smiled at the man, seated in the examine room. "Now, I have to tell you something that may upset you, but it's something that you need to know."

"What is it?" Kate asked the worry heavy in her voice. Gibbs took hold of her hand.

"It's just a precaution right now. But with the difficulties surrounding the birth of your first child and the Eclampsia you are a high risk to develop it again," Dr. Keller continued. Gibbs felt Kate's hand tighten around his. He looked at her and saw the fear behind her eyes.

"What does this mean?" Gibbs asked after the room settled into a silence.

"It means that Kate will need to be closely monitored. She'll have regular scheduled checkups. Right now I don't see any warning signs, but we'll play it by ear as we go."

Kate had simply nodded, fighting hard to hold back the tears growing in her eyes. Gibbs let out a sigh and rubbed his thumb along Kate's hand. They had talked later that night, Kate expressing her fears, Gibbs expressing his.

In the end they both knew they would make it through, no matter what. Every week like clockwork, Kate visited the doctor, with Gibbs by her side. With each visit they encountered no problems, and both Kate and Gibbs could feel the weight slowly lifting off their shoulders.

At one appointment Kate was having an ultrasound done. The technician asked if they wanted to know the sex of their baby. Kate had smiled and looked up at Gibbs. His hand twitched in hers and she waited. He finally looked down at her, and she could see there was something in his eyes. He slowly licked his lips, while tilting his head to the side. Kate asked wordlessly if he wanted to know, and he nodded quickly.

"Yes, we'd like to know," Kate replied with a smile. The tech moved the wand around and then pointed to the screen.

"Looks like a little girl," she said tapping the screen.

Kate felt Gibbs' hand retreat. She looked up and saw his eyes cloud over, lost in a faraway memory. She reached over and laid her hand gently on his thigh, but she received no reaction. He then rose from the chair and walked from the room without another word. Kate watched him go, a sadness in her eyes. The tech looked back at her with a questioning look on her face.

"Did I say something?" she asked worried.

"No, it's…a long story," Kate replied putting on a smile. She looked at the screen and the smile became genuine.

Later that night Gibbs came into the bedroom after spending the majority of the night in the basement. Kate had stayed awake knowing that he was waiting for her to fall asleep. It was past midnight when he stood leaning in the doorway looking at her. She put the book down that she was reading and looked up at him.

"You're supposed to be asleep," he mumbled while rubbing a hand over the back of his neck, then through his hair. Kate nodded slowly glancing at the clock. He didn't make a move to come in the room.

"I knew you were trying to out wait me," she replied softly tilting her head to the side, her arm draped over the bump of her stomach. His eyes drifted down and he stared at his next child. "Talk to me, Jethro."

The softness and love in her voice almost made him crack. He looked down at his hands, holding them out in front of him, just for something to do. She watched him take a deep breath and slowly let it out. When he looked back up his eyes were moist, and Kate reached a hand out to him. He hesitated slightly before coming across the room, shedding the jeans and sweatshirt he had been wearing in the basement.

He crawled under the covers and let Kate snuggle into his side. He kissed her head and rubbed a hand up and down her shoulder and arm. She waited him out, knowing he was trying to loll her to sleep. When he didn't say anything and continued with his massaging motion she sat up pulling away from him.

"Jethro," she said with a slight hint of sternness in her voice. He looked at her and her hand immediately made its way to his face. She gently stroked his cheek while giving him a sympathetic smile.

"I'm sorry," he breathed closing his eyes. "About today, about now. I just…"

"Is it because it's a daughter?"

"When she said it was a girl I was hit with those memories. All I could think of was Kelly, not…not this one. I don't know Kate, I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing, Jethro. I don't expect you to never think of your family."

"You're my family, Colton is my family," Gibbs began lightly pounding a fist against the comforter.

"Shannon and Kelly are still your family too," she cut in softly. She leaned in and kissed him gently. He looked at her after she leaned back. Gibbs closed his eyes and nodded. "This daughter, she's going to be special, Jethro, just like Colton in there."

"I know."

Kate nodded and leaned down on his chest again. She felt the fatigue of the long day catch up with her, and knew Gibbs had to be just as tired. She listened to his heartbeat for a few moments.

"Get some sleep," Kate whispered.

"What about names?" he asked suddenly.

"Tomorrow, Jethro, tomorrow," Kate said groggily as she closed her eyes and let sleep overtake her.

The pregnancy progressed with the weekly doctor visits, and Gibbs continually taking vacation days. The team grew to expect him to disappear once in a while without warning. They all came to cover for him, knowing it was for a good reason.

They debated, argued, and discussed girl names. Neither could agree. The team had tried to help but it only fueled the arguments, so they stopped suggesting. They simply sat back and listened to the bickering.

The doctors were pleased with the progress of the pregnancy. Kate wasn't showing any signs of problems. Gibbs and Kate still had the underlying fear of something developing, but the doctor continued to assure them she and the baby were fine.

Colton was growing more and more interested as they told him about his soon to be baby sister. He was continually asking questions while he worked with his dad on the boat in the basement. Kate went into labor in the middle of the night and Gibbs had called Abby to watch Colton. She came rushing to the hospital excitedly as Gibbs handed off the sleeping toddler.

Gibbs noticed a rather sleepy McGee trailing her but didn't make mention of it, only making a mental note to discuss it with Abby later. Abby and McGee took Colton home and Gibbs stayed with Kate while she delivered their new daughter.

The delivery was long, but without complication and Taylor Jordan Gibbs finally made her presence known in the world. Later that day when Gibbs got to hold his daughter for the first time he had to fight the tears that welled up. Kate had reached out and laid a soft hand on his forearm to let him know she understood.

Abby and McGee came up later that night bringing Colton for a visit. The boy had climbed into Gibbs' lap and stared at the small baby cuddled in his mother's arms. He looked at his father and then at the baby.

"That's your baby sister Taylor," Gibbs said in a soft voice. Colton thought for a moment before his face split into a huge grin. He looked at his mom before he leaned forward and studied his new sister.

"She's all red," he said in a whisper looking up at Gibbs. Everyone in the room smiled as Gibbs nodded.

"She'll be fine," he said gently. Colton nodded.

"Can I sit with Momma?" he asked hesitantly. Kate nodded and the boy gingerly crawled into the bed with his mom and sister. Gibbs looked from Abby to McGee and back to Abby again. Abby clearly read the look in his eye and smiled at him. He rose from the chair and walked towards the door pausing briefly when he reached it.

"Be right back," he said to Kate before looking at the two standing in the room. "Come with me."

McGee and Abby shared a look before they scurried after Gibbs into the hallway. He was slightly down from the room when they caught up with him. He continued to walk in silence towards the cafeteria and Abby and McGee had a wordless conversation with looks. Gibbs smiled to himself.

When they had finally stopped in the cafeteria he ordered a coffee and then took it to a table. McGee and Abby were still in tow and each took a seat on either side of him. He looked to his left and then his right, seeing the worried looks on their faces. He grinned.

"How serious?" he asked turning towards Abby. She pursed her lips and looked around Gibbs at McGee. "Don't look at him, look at me."

"Pretty," Abby replied her eyes snapping back to him. He nodded and looked at McGee asking the same question with his eyes. McGee stumbled a moment before he let out a sigh and replied.

"Yeah, it's pretty serious, Gibbs."

"Living together?" Gibbs asked. McGee flinched and then knotted his hands in front of him and Abby looked at the table. "Sore subject?"

"Well not really," McGee replied.

"We're looking for a place," Abby added. Gibbs smiled, snaking out an arm to each of them. He wrapped his hands around their shoulders and pulled them closer together.

"It's about time," he said with a smile. They both nodded and grinned. "Now let's get back to my baby girl upstairs."


	20. Part XX: Time Goes By

**Disclaimer on Part I.**

**AN: Wow. Ok so I actually wrote this a long time ago and lost it, forgot about it, misplaced it, whatever you want to call it. But! Last night I found it and now I've had a chance to read over it and I think it's good as is so I'm posting it. Hope you like it...SOOOOO sorry for the long wait. Enjoy, and as always, share your thoughts withe me and everyone else that reads the reviews! dark rolling sea.

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Part XX: Time Goes By

Before they knew it their daughter was one. She was walking, talking, and developing quite the personality. Colton was a good big brother, mixing his torment with love, and once Taylor took to foot, they grew even closer.

Gibbs couldn't believe his fortune late in life. He had everything he had longed for during the middle portion of his years. A family, a loving home, and colleagues that were just as close.

His gruff exterior had faded slightly with the team, as he enjoyed his new found happiness. He was still known outside of that small group as the hard ass agent that broke the rules to bring in the bad guys…and rarely got punished for it.

One night as they had stayed in, watching a movie with the kids, Kate looked over at Gibbs to see him lost in thought, a sad smile on his face. She glanced at Colton and Taylor, curled up on the floor at the foot of the couch, sound asleep. She wrapped her arm around his waist and leaned her head against his shoulder, drawing him out of his reverie.

"Where were you?" she asked as her eyes remained on the screen. Gibbs looked at her a moment before leaning down and kissing the top of her head.

"Just wondering why I had to be almost 50 before I found what I was looking for," he whispered into her ear.

"Was it worth the wait?" Kate asked, looking up at him. She saw the sparkle in his eye, the happiness flash through them, the smile grow on his face.

"Well worth it."

Two days later Gibbs was at his desk after the rest of the team had gone home. He was finishing up proof reading reports so that he could hurry home to his own family. The elevator doors swooshed open and he curiously looked up, to find Abby and McGee approaching him. McGee had a small smile on his face as he watched the ground, but Abby was bouncing up and down, barely controlling her excitement. He put the paper he was reading down and watched them come to a stop in front of his desk.

Abby giggled and swayed back and forth before she thrust her left hand out and held it palm down for him to inspect. The ring on the finger was impossible to miss, and Gibbs looked up with a raised eyebrow.

"Look what Tim gave me," Abby said with a toothy grin as her other hand found purchase with McGee's. Gibbs looked at the ring again and them up at McGee. He saw the young man swallow, before Gibbs smiled and nodded.

"Congratulations," he said standing from his desk and walking around. He wrapped his arm around Abby and drew her into a hug, before extending his right hand out for McGee to take. "Set a date yet?"

"Not yet, but sometime soon," McGee answered while Abby's head bobbed up and down almost uncontrollably. Gibbs nodded before the two left. He looked at the report waiting on his desk but decided that it could wait for the morning. He left the office and hurried home, sharing the good news with Kate.

As the summer approached Colton was getting more and more into sports. The young boy was going to be turning five shortly and he had picked a barrage of sports he wanted to try. Kate and Gibbs were supportive of their young son and tried to accommodate him as much as possible.

Through the summer they found that he had a natural knack for baseball and soccer, trying to lead him towards those sports. He picked baseball, much to the delight of Gibbs. Baseball he could teach, but he knew absolutely nothing about soccer. Colton then shocked them slightly as the fall approached when he told them he wanted to play ice hockey.

Gibbs looked at Kate who shrugged. They told the boy they would try to find something for him and he pouted that night all the way up to bed time. The next day Kate set out to find an ice rink to inquire about hockey for her boy. It took her most of the day before she found something suitable.

After checking into it she was shocked at the price it would cost them to enroll their son. She discussed it with Gibbs that night and Colton again brought up the fact that he wanted to play ice hockey. Neither knew where this was coming from as Tony had continually tried to get the young Gibbs to play basketball.

Gibbs had always chuckled at those conversations, mainly from the facial expressions Colton would use on Tony when he brought up basketball in general. Tony always accused Gibbs of turning the boy away from the sport. Gibbs had to admit to himself that after the initial reaction he had fueled the boy, simply to enjoy future reactions.

After a week long of discussion and contemplating Gibbs told Kate to go ahead and sign Colton up. That was when she told him they would have to buy gear for the boy. Gibbs shook his head and sighed. He looked at his son sitting on the floor playing peek-a-boo with his little sister.

"You'd think if we have to pay five hundred dollars for him to play, equipment would be included," he ground out. Kate smiled and patted his shoulder. "Go ahead, do it. If he doesn't like it…" Gibbs didn't finish but simply shrugged his shoulders and shook his head.

But Colton did like it; in fact he loved it and told both Kate and Gibbs that he wanted to keep playing. They agreed to let him keep going and it was trips to the rink twice a week as the mini mite took to the ice for the season.

It was early December when Abby and McGee finally wed. Gibbs couldn't help feel the role of proud father as he watched them tie the knot. Kate had been a Maid of Honor as Gibbs was the best man, with Tony and being the other groomsman. The ceremony had been kept small, mostly the team with Colton the ring bearer and Taylor the flower girl.

Tony had surprised them all when he showed up with a date. And the way they were acting around each other it wasn't just another fling. Gibbs caught his eye a couple times and Tony would only smile at him before turning away.

They held the 'reception' at a bar. Just the team and a few other select individuals were invited. Kate had found a babysitter for the kids so she and Gibbs were free to enjoy the night. Gibbs cornered Tony later in the night and asked him about his date.

"Who is she?" he asked with a smile. Tony's eyes drifted to the woman on the floor dancing with Abby and Kate.

"A friend," Tony replied.

"You two seem awfully close," Gibbs remarked as Tony slowly drew his gaze upon his boss.

"Pretty close."

"Serious?"

"I don't know, Boss, but it's different," Tony said looking at his feet. Gibbs reached out and squeezed Tony's shoulder.

"That's serious, DiNozzo. Bring her around more," Gibbs replied and then walked away to share a dance with Kate as the music turned slower.


	21. Part XXI: Fireworks

**Disclaimer on Part I.**

**AN: WOW! Looky what I wrote! So this kinda just jumped into my head the last two days...and I have to admit, it got away from me and grew. I never intended it to be this large, and I also have to say I did scale it down. I ended it before I had originally intended, but I think it works. So I hope you like it and hopefully more to come from this and my other stories. Keep reading, and always remember your thoughts are always welcome. dark rolling sea.

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Part XXI: Fireworks

Kate stood at the edge of the driveway, barely containing her tears. Colton stood watching the road with enthusiasm, as Taylor clung to Kate's side shyly. Colton's backpack shifted uneasily on his back, the bag being slightly too large for the boy. He didn't seem to mind as he pushed up on his tiptoes, as if he could see further with that extra two inches of height.

"I don't see it, Momma," he said squinting.

"It'll come, Cole, be patient," she replied ruffling his hair. He looked up at her and nodded, the seriousness in his face making her smile.

They waited another five minutes, Colton anxiously fidgeting and shifting, before he saw it. The giant yellow monster turned the corner down the street and the little boy's face lit up. He pointed and jumped up and down as a small squeal escaped.

"There it is!" he shouted. Kate smiled and nodded, as Taylor picked her head up and looked over Kate's shoulder at what had gotten her brother so excited. She watched the vehicle come to a stop in front of them.

"Be a good boy, Cole," Kate said as the little one trudged up the steps. He stopped at the top and turned to face her.

"Will be, Momma!" he said with a smile before he disappeared into the noisy bowels of the bus. The driver waved with a smile then pulled away from the curb. Kate watched it until it was gone from sight then she took Taylor into the house.

That had been three months ago. Colton had come home from kindergarten everyday with excitement and enthusiasm. He was thoroughly enjoying school, and seemed to be making as many friends as he could. His hockey was still in full flow as his second season as a mini mite started up.

They had thought his being so much smaller than the other kids his age would deter him from playing such a game, but for now, when full physical contact was not part of the game, Colton seemed to thrive. He loved it. His coaches continuously told Kate of her son's natural ability to see the game and she would simply nod. She didn't understand a lick of the game to be honest.

The year progressed and Abby and McGee announced they would be adding to the family, Abby was pregnant. The team had celebrated that night at the Gibbs' house. Tony had brought his now steady girlfriend, whose name was Robin they found out three months after McGee and Abby's wedding.

Gibbs sat back and watched as his 'family' interacted. His features settled into a gentle smile as he took in the scene in his living room, something six years ago he would have bulked at if someone had told him of the fortunes to come. Kate noticed his distance and left the group coming up next to him. She placed a hand on his arm and he looked down at her with a smile.

"You ok?" she asked lightly. He nodded once before looking up at the group oblivious to them.

"Just admiring the view," Gibbs replied softly. Kate looked back to see Colton in Tony's lap, as Tony attempted some sort of a magic trick. Colton was telling Tony he was doing it wrong, and Robin, who was next to them, was laughing. McGee and Abby were on the floor doing a puzzle with Taylor. Even Wentworth was watching Tony's flubbed magic trick.

"It's a nice change," Kate replied as Gibbs wrapped an arm around her shoulders. She felt there was something more to his standing apart. She draped her arms around his waist. "What is it?"

Gibbs looked at her and smiled. She could always tell when there was something on his mind. He closed his eyes and took in a slow deep breath, before he returned his gaze to the family in front of him.

"Just thinking about the turns in life. How one thing can lead to another and you really don't have any control over it, but you don't want to think that way. So you hold tightly to the idea that you have control over everything."

"I'm not sure I know what you mean."

"I just don't want to take anything for granted," Gibbs replied leaning down and kissing her temple. She nodded. Colton looked over at his parents and smiled, waving wildly. They waved back with grins, before walking over and joining the party.

Two weeks after that, things started to unravel. It was as if Gibbs had felt something coming. The team caught a rough case, a serial killer preying on returning Iraqi War veterans. It was consuming much of his time, and every free moment he was trying to spend with his family. He found himself on the phone with them more often than not, not being able to be home.

It was weighing on his as time progressed. The case was coming together but slowly. They still hadn't found the killer's identity, but were closing in. The team was pushing harder than ever, determined to bring this mad man down. Finally a break came in. Wentworth and Tony came back to the headquarters with good news, a possible suspect.

Gibbs had taken the two of them with him, leaving McGee in the lab with Abby. The suspect lived in a house in a secluded area in Virginia. Gibbs surveyed the property, knowing it was a perfect place to commit the horrible crimes their killer and done and no one would be around to hear or see. They approached the house carefully, as there was a car in the drive, but no sound or movement could be detected. Wentworth and Tony went around the back while Gibbs approached the front of the house cautiously. His gut started to tell him something was wrong when he felt a hot rush of air come from under the door.

His mind was boggled for a moment, as he looked down at the dirt being sucked back under the door. His mind started to connect the dots but it was too late. He felt the heat before he heard the blast; at least he thinks he heard the blast. His body was standing on the porch one second, and next he was hurling backwards at high velocity. The door and wall had splintered in front of him, pieces of the shrapnel slicing into his face and chest.

The heat surrounding his body was intense and he felt his skin burning from the exposure. The sound was gone from his head, nothing but his own heart beat and rough breathing echoed in his ears. His sight was gone for the moment; the brilliant flash had blinded him. He grunted as his body slammed against the hood of the car parked in the drive, and felt as his momentum carried him up the slick metal. The windshield stopped him, but not before spidering and shattering.

He tried to call out to Tony and Wentworth; he wanted to make sure they were ok. His mind reeled and panicked what if they had entered the house. He struggled to get up off the car but he couldn't. His mind no longer controlled the rest of his body. The pain started to set in and he knew there was some serious damage done to his body. His eye sight slowly returned with blurry shapes and shadows. His ears continued to ring and hum.

He felt his body sliding and was unable to stop it. He closed his eyes and prepared for another shock of pain as he slipped from the car and landed with a thump in a heap on the ground. His body sprawled as he groaned aloud again. Time seemed to slow and spin around him as he fought to retain consciousness.

Gibbs could feel the hot stickiness of his skin. Blood streamed from somewhere on his forehead flowing freely through his eye, not that he could see that well out of it anyway. His mind was foggy, only patches of thought at best. His worry for Tony and Wentworth quickly snowballed into thoughts of Kate and the kids.

Coherent thought sparked in his mind and he tried to move his right arm. Pain ignited from his shoulder, spreading down his arm to his elbow and across his chest and back. He looked at it, but his mind couldn't focus long enough to see what was wrong. He then attempted to move his left arm, that one coherent thought still echoing in his mind.

The left arm moved with some difficulty, but at least it moved. He groped wildly at his pockets, not quite remembering where his phone was. Pay dirt. His fingers bounced off the hard plastic shell and he struggled to free it from his pants. Flipping the phone open he squinted and blinked to try to clear his eyes enough to see the number panel, but it was useless.

The world was beginning to spin again, to fade again and Gibbs fought to maintain that last semblance of control. He moved his right arm again and the pain exploded, causing his mind to awaken briefly. The sight in his right eye cleared for a moment and he punched in 9-1 before it faded and he felt the blackness enveloping him again.

He let his finger fall again and the phone was ringing; only he couldn't hear it. He couldn't hear anything still. He tried to talk, but wasn't even sure if sound was coming out. Holding the phone to his head, Gibbs made his best effort to form English sentences for whoever was listening on the other end. Maybe he was shouting, maybe he was only whispering, and maybe it was all gibberish, but in his head he was speaking to someone.

Then it was gone. Everything was black and his mind was floating. His fingers slacked and the phone landed in the grass next to him. The house continued to burn, smoke filling the air, but Gibbs didn't care anymore; he had succumbed to the unconscious hand.

The 9-1-1 operator that had answered the phone had had to remove her headset. The man that called in was yelling into her ear. She tried to get him to calm down and talk sensibly but his words were slurred together and he spoke in incoherent thoughts. Then the line was quiet. She thought she had heard him say something about an explosion and possibly something about others. She tried to get him to talk to her after he went silent but she got nothing in return.

She took her headset off and walked to her boss' office, knocking lightly on the wood. She told him about the cell phone call she had just received and he came to her desk to read the transcript on the screen. He frowned and then slipped the headset on his own head. He could hear crackling in the background, but it wasn't static, the phone was still connected.

They ran a GPS trace on the number and found the general location. He dispatched emergency personnel immediately and continued to listen to the phone in case the man came back to the line.

The sirens were in the distance. Gibbs couldn't hear them in his unconscious state, but Tony could. He was pinned under heavy siding from the house, unable to move. He had called out to Wentworth and received a weak grunt before getting nothing. He had been shouting for Gibbs ever since, but got nothing in return. His fear was pulling at his gut.

He began to relax a little now that he heard sirens. Possibly someone saw the smoke and called the fire department, or maybe heard the blast and simply called 9-1-1. What worried him the most though was his inability to see or hear Gibbs. Fear was a nasty creature and could do a number on your brain when you were trapped.

He wasn't afraid for himself, no, he was afraid of what might have happened to Gibbs. He was afraid of what that could mean for Kate…and those two wonderful kids. Tony tried to push the bulk that was trapping him off again, only to fail miserably again. He took stock of his body and knew that his left side had some damage, but as for extent he couldn't tell. His legs both seemed to shift, slightly, in their trapped positions. He searched what he could see again and still didn't see Wentworth. He hadn't heard the younger agent in a while and wondered if he was ok. The sirens were growing louder and louder and Tony felt the slightest pang of relief, under the fear and panic that still saturated his mind.

The paramedics were the first to arrive, with the fire department hot on their heels. Three cops rolled in seconds later as the scene exploded in sound and flashing lights. Tony started yelling, not sure if they could hear him over the crackle of the fire and the roar of the vehicles, but he shouted none the less.

They saw Gibbs crumpled by the vehicle and went to work on him. He briefly fluttered his eyes open when the touched that right arm, groaning in pain. They set to work stabilizing him. When all the sirens finally cut someone heard a faint yelling coming from behind the inferno and he left his partner to check it out.

Gibbs was vaguely aware that someone was poking, sticking, and moving his body around. He barely felt the blood being wiped away and his wounds inspected. He was floating on a plane somewhere between being awake and being unconscious. Images fluttered through his mind scattered by the fog, as he tried to form a decent thought of any kind.

The second paramedic had found Wentworth and frowned at the man's condition. He quickly released that it wasn't Wentworth yelling and started to scan the area looking for someone else. He finally spotted Tony and sprinted towards him. Tony saw the man and his face split into a grin, before pain overwhelmed it and made the grimace return.

"Can you tell me your name?" the paramedic was yelling at him as he came closer.

"Tony," DiNozzo grunted out while trying to wiggle free of his confinement. "Where's Gibbs?"

"Who?" the paramedic asked as he squatted down next to Tony and examined the scene.

"My boss."

"One guy is lying just over there unconscious. Another is out front unconscious and pretty beat up."

"They both alive?" Tony asked struggling more to free him self and only succeeding in increasing the pain.

"Relax. I'm going to go tend to the one over there. You're stable for now. I'll get some guys back here to get this stuff off you," the paramedic replied before he got up and sprinted back towards Wentworth. Tony felt the tears in his eyes as he thought about Gibbs in front, unconscious and beat up.

Kate had a bad feeling all day that she just couldn't shake. She had hid it the best she could from the kids, but she was pretty sure Colton knew something was wrong. He kept quiet about it, simply watching his mother to make sure she was ok.

When the phone rang she nearly jumped from the couch, as dread settled into the pit of her stomach. She stared at the phone for a moment before she picked it up and slowly brought it to her ear. Her eyes closed on their own as she waited.

"Hello?"

"Kate," McGee's half strangled voice came over the phone. She knew something was wrong.

"Tim, what is it?" she asked in a whisper. Colton stopped playing with his truck and looked up at his mom on the couch. He could see the tears starting to form in her eyes.

"It's the team, Kate. There was an explosion."

"My God, NO!" Kate said in a harsh hiss of words. She clamped her eyes shut trying to seal off the tears burning behind her lids. She was unsuccessful and Colton was on his feet in front of her. Taylor looked up from her coloring book, her face sick with worry.

"He's alive, Kate, but it's pretty bad."

"How bad, Tim?" she continued in an uneven voice.

"He's being taken into surgery. They think they have to rebuild his right shoulder. He's got a lot of burns, second and third degree. They're worried he has a serious head injury."

"I…"

"Kate, Abby and I are on our way to your house. Abby is going to stay with the kids; I'll take you up to the hospital. He's in Virginia."

"What about the others?"

"Tony is stable and responsive. He's got a broken leg and a dislocated shoulder, couple cracked ribs and a concussion. Wentworth is still unconscious, but responding to pain. He has a large gash in his chest and a broken right arm."

"What happened, Tim?"

"All I know is when they went to apprehend the suspect the house they were approaching exploded."

Kate was a wreck, but Abby got her off with Tim and told her the kids would be fine. Colton wanted to go with and had thrown a very good argument with Kate but it had been Abby to calm him in the end. He had agreed to stay with his little sister and take care of her. He could tell she was very scared.

At the hospital Kate had sat waiting for someone to talk to her for what seemed like days, but in reality was only an hour. Ducky had arrived and was sitting with her after he checked on Tony. Finally she couldn't take just sitting and she went to find Tony. He was also agitated being restrained to the hospital bed.

She saw the cast drying on his leg, and the stabilizer that was strapped around his shoulder and chest. Each time he moved she could see him wincing. He had smiled when he saw Kate come in and she had rushed to him and hugged him. He held her as tightly as he could; trying desperately to ignore the pain it created.

Kate cried into his good shoulder, letting out all of her fear and anger. He had simply let her, giving her the comfort she needed. When she had regained control she gave him a small smile. He told her it was nothing she wouldn't do for him and they had shared a small laugh.

But then the reality of the moment took over again and they both were quiet. Then Kate asked what had happened and Tony ran through everything he could remember with any detail. She simply listened to his tale until he was done and then nodded. There was nothing anyone did wrong; it was just a bad situation.

They sat together through the night, with very little word on Gibbs. Wentworth had come through surgery in the early morning hour and was in recovery and Kate felt that pull in her stomach, the worry tugging at her insides. Finally Ducky had come in. She saw the relief in his face instantly and rose to hug him. Once she released him she asked him for the good news.

"Jethro is stable. He came out of surgery about ten minutes ago and is in recovery. They were able to put his shoulder back together but they are skeptical if he will regain his entire range of motion."

"And the burns?" Tony asked with a cracking voice.

"They are serious, but they believe with proper care he will make a full recovery. They will leave scars but sparing infection he should come through all right. They will be moving him to the burn ward shortly after his stay in recovery."

"What about the head injury?" Kate asked pursing her lips when she was done. She knew it was the most dangerous of all his injuries.

"They are still worried about the head injury; I will not lie about that. He took a serious blow to the head and they are skeptical that he can hear at the moment. He didn't seem responsive to voices, and his ability to track movement seemed sluggish. They are monitoring him for any serious signs. As of right now all we can do is wait."

"Can I see him?" Kate asked her stomach doing flips. She just wanted to touch him, know he was still alive.

"The doctor will let you soon," Ducky replied with a nod. She waited another half hour before they let her see him. Kate couldn't stop the tears that rolled down her cheeks when she saw him bandaged and casted lying in the hospital bed. She walked to him and reached out touching him gently on the left side. His eyes fluttered and he rolled his head towards her. She softly stroked the side of his face and leaned down kissing his temple. He mumbled but she couldn't understand it. Looking down on him she got the feeling that things would be ok and it brought a small smile to her face. He had survived this far, he would make it through.


	22. Part XXII: Decisions

**Disclaimer on part one.**

**AN: I'm back with another part. Sorry it took a year to get this done. My life is very full right now, very little time to write. But I'm making a better effort to find time so hopefully you'll start seeing more of my work published again. Enjoy this one for now and let me know what you think. dark rolling sea.**

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**Part XXII: Decisions**

Gibbs sat in his living room staring at the blank television screen. It had been off for a few hours, but he still stared at it. His mind was wrapping around many difficult decisions he was being forced to make. He was just over a year in his recovery and things had been progressing, up to a point. His skin had healed, leaving scars along his body. The right shoulder moved, to an extent, his full range never fully returning. His hearing had returned after a week, as did his full eyesight. The scars from shrapnel were minimal, but noticeable in his face and neck.

He had worried how Kate would see him after all the scarring but his worry was misplaced. She continuously told him she didn't even see it. He was the same to her now as he had been before the explosion. He couldn't figure out how he had gotten so lucky to have her in his life. He reflected on his recovery and knew that without Kate, or the kids, he would have never made it as far as he was now.

His mind landed on his son. Colton had been a huge driving force during his time of need. The boy seemed to carry more than his years, giving Gibbs a rock to lean on when his mind was faltering. He knew he had been truly blessed with the little miracle that was his son.

Gibbs' mind wrapped around what he needed to decide. He had his reevaluation physical for NCIS in the morning and he was worried. If he failed, he was no longer a field agent. He would be faced with two options, take an administrative desk job, or retire. He knew he wouldn't survive a week at a desk; it was just not in him to do that kind of work. His only option then would be to retire.

He thought about something that had been floating around his mind for the last couple months. He knew that his recovery was not going to one hundred percent. It was obvious his shoulder just wouldn't heal to its full capacity, and it was apparent that he would have limited rotational movement for the rest of his life. There was nothing he could do about it, and it was in those moments of realization that he thought about Kate. She had put her career on hold while she raised their children. Maybe now it was time for him to take a turn, while she returned to work.

The thought scared the hell out of him. After what they had just gone through he didn't know how she had handled the situation so well. What if something were to happen to her on the job? How would he cope with that? He didn't know, and that scared him. To lose another wife would devastate him, and he knew if something happened to Kate, he would have to remain strong for his children.

But that fear aside, he knew he had to let Kate go back to work. He had seen it in her for a while, when he'd bring cases home. She was chomping at the bit to get back into investigating them. He checked the clock on the wall and sighed. The crew would be home shortly.

Kate had taken Colton to hockey practice, before heading to Abby and Tim's with Taylor. They were going to see the little baby girl. Tim and Abby's girl was six months old now, named Kaleigh Aiden McGee. His thoughts were interrupted by the door busting open. Colton shrugged his bag off his shoulder in the doorway and ran to the couch where his father was sitting. Taylor whined to her mother as she had to step around the hockey bag as Kate shuttled the younger Gibbs child into the house.

Colton came around the couch and stared at the blank television screen for a moment, before looking skeptically at his father. Gibbs could see the thoughts charging through his son's eyes and it made him smile. Colton flopped down heavily next to Gibbs and stared at his father, the boy's head slightly cocked to one side.

"What are ya doin, Dad?" he asked slowly.

"Thinking," Gibbs replied softly, his attention drifting to his wife. Kate noticed Gibbs watching her and she got Taylor to settle down. "We need to talk."

His soft tone and the look in his eyes told Kate it was something serious. She shooed the kids off to their rooms, getting a complaint from Colton. One word from his father and the young boy trudged begrudgingly up the stairs and out of sight. Kate hesitated for a brief moment before she came around and settled next to Gibbs.

"What is it?" she asked softly, holding her breath for a moment.

"I'm not going to pass my physical," Gibbs replied evenly as his gaze drifted to his hands. "I know this. I'm ok with it."

"Why don't we just wait and see what the..."

"No, Kate, I won't pass. I know I won't. My shoulder is maybe sixty percent. I can't rotate, I have trouble holding weight. I wouldn't be able to hold a firearm and aim correctly. I'm done."

"Ok," Kate replied slowly unsure of where he was going with this, and quite frankly a little unnerved by his calmness.

"I know you're not sure why I'm so calm," Gibbs said with a smile. Kate looked at his eyes closely and nodded.

"It is a little frightening that you're taking this so well."

"I've been thinking, about everything. I know you always wanted to go back to NCIS. I know the kids have kept you here. I can't work a desk, Kate; I'd fail in a week. I'd go crazy and drive you…and everyone else, insane. It's just not me. If I can't investigate I'm not going to work for them."

"And if you can't pass the physical you'll have two options, desk or retire."

"Right. I'll retire. But I have pull with the director."

"What are you thinking?"

"I need to know what you want to do. Do you want to go back to NCIS?"

"I would love to go back to work."

"Tony's been running my team. They never replaced me, just him, Wentworth, and McGee. They could use a forth."

"I'd never be assigned to Tony's team. I've been out of field work for almost seven years."

"I can get you on Tony's team. If that's what you want."

"I'd love to be back on the team. You're sure you're ok with this? I mean with me going back to work like this?"

"Yes. I can't be selfish. I know it's what you want, and I know it will make you happy. It's my turn to live with the fear of a phone call and the waiting in an empty bed."

"Paybacks a bitch, huh?"

Gibbs couldn't help but smile. He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close to him. He kissed her head softly and closed his eyes. "I sure hope not," he replied with a slight chuckle.

They were quiet for a while as each thought about what this meant. Kate was imagining Gibbs in the house husband role, taking on her responsibilities with the kids, and Gibbs was wondering what the hell he was getting himself into. Kate finally started to giggle slightly and Gibbs looked at her.

"I guess we should explain to the kids," she said as she got herself under control. Gibbs nodded slowly as he thought about what she said. "Are you sure you're ready to take this on?"

Gibbs looked at her with his famous glare. "You think I can't handle this? I was an NCIS agent who managed an investigative…"

"But these are children, Jethro," Kate interrupted him with a smile.

"I think I can handle them."

"I'll check in regularly for awhile."

"You really don't think I can handle it."

"I just think you'll need an adjustment period," Kate shared with a chuckle. Gibbs smiled at her shaking his head and wrapped his arms around her. "Thank you," she said after a while. Gibbs kissed her softly on the temple.

"Can I come out of my room yet?" Colton shouted down the stairs. Gibbs let go of Kate and shook his head at the stairs. Kate nudged him in the ribs and nodded.

"Yeah, come on down, Cole, and bring your sister with you," Gibbs hollered back.

They waited as they listened to the kids moving around upstairs. It was a minute later when Colton led his sister down the stairs. Both parents could see the wheels turning in the young son's eyes, as he tried to figure out what was going on. They could see the nervousness in his motions, as he wondered what the news would be. He settled himself in front of them, sitting on the coffee table as Taylor simply flopped to the floor with an annoyed look on her face.

"We have something to share with you," Kate began.

"What is it, Momma?" Colton asked, his voice betraying his tension.

"Nothing to worry about, Cole, just that your mother is going to go back to work at NCIS," Gibbs explained.

"So who's gonna take care of us?" Colton asked with confusion. Kate couldn't hold back the laugh that escaped and she felt Gibbs' elbow connect softly with her ribs.

"Your father," Kate said getting herself under control. Colton looked from his mother to his father as he pondered on the news. Taylor looked at her father and shook her head.

"You're sure?" Colton asked his mother.

"Yes," Gibbs bit at him slightly annoyed that none of them thought he could handle the children.

"I'm sure he'll do a very good job, Colton."

"He's going to get me to practice on time?"

"Yes!" Gibbs said exasperated. "Why doesn't anyone have any faith in me?"

Colton simply shrugged his shoulders and looked at his sister. Then he looked back at his parents and smiled. "I think it's a good idea. It'll be cool to have Dad around more."

"I'm glad you approve," Gibbs said with a smile. His son crawled into his lap and gave him a hug. Gibbs held on tightly. His mind wrapped around his good fortune and he couldn't help but smile. Other than losing his job at NCIS his life was in perfect order. He knew it would take time for him to completely come to terms with losing his position, but he knew having the children around would help him cope.


	23. Part XXIII: Domesticity

**AN: Hey everyone! I know that this has been dead for about a year and a half but I finally wrote part XXIII! Here ya go the next installment. I hope to be writing more now, but things in my life are getting more complicated...but hoping that at the end of this month it will mark the end of the worst year (last 12 months) of my life, and begin the best year of my life (fingers crossed) as I work towards my future...but alas, I hope to write more often now and hopefully it won't all be original work :-) so enjoy this snipit and I'll try to get Part XXIV up as soon as I can! Enjoy and leave your thoughts if you like. dark rolling sea.**

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**Part XXIII: Domesticity**

A year into his retirement, Gibbs stood at the glass and watched his son skate through a cluster of defense on the ice. He moved with precision and grace as he weaved his way towards the goal. His smaller frame glided easily away from his opponents, his speed always keeping him a step ahead of the others on the ice.

At age eight he was already moved up to play with the nine and ten year olds, making their AAA travel squad, the highest level he could play. Gibbs was amazed at his son's natural ability at the game and had trouble figuring out where it came from. Colton slipped around the last defender and came in on the goalie. The goalie waited and waited, but Colton had his number…again.

The small forward faked a shot to the near post, drawing the goalie down and towards him before he gracefully dipped around the sprawled net minder and slipped the puck into the open net for his fifth goal of the game. The crowd cheered once again and Gibbs couldn't stop the proud grin on his face. He glanced towards the corner of the building, checking on Taylor as she played with other players' siblings before turning his attention back to the game.

It had been a long year of transition for Gibbs. He had known it wasn't going to be easy when he made the decision to retire, but he also knew it was the right choice, and a year later he was still convinced it was right. He hadn't lied to Kate, he had major pull when he retired, and she had been assigned to Tony's team, rounding them out to four members.

She had slipped back into her role as investigator and profiler easily, becoming a major asset to the team. Their highest closure rate in the agency, jumped even higher with Kate back in action. She thrived in the environment and Gibbs couldn't help but notice how happy she was coming home every day.

And with her being back in action, she brought case files home on a regular basis, giving him just enough taste to satisfy his retirement. Life was definitely good in the Gibbs' house. He checked the scoreboard, a 7-3 game, as Colton came back on the ice for another shift. In another three minutes, the game would be over. Gibbs glanced over at Taylor again.

His daughter was proving to be the scholar in the family. They had sent her to kindergarten this year, and after three weeks in the classroom the teacher suggested that she be moved to first grade. Neither Gibbs parent objected, so she was advanced a grade. She was excelling.

The buzzer sounded and the team swarmed their goaltender after the win, followed by the customary handshake at center ice. Gibbs then watched the teams file from the ice and head to the locker rooms. He made his way over to Taylor and waited for his son to come out.

His mind drifted to the rest of his family. Abby and McGee were expecting child number two, as Kaleigh continued to grow and develop. She was eighteen months old now and beginning to assert her personality. She was a very curious child and continued to drive her parents nuts with her antics, Gibbs could only laugh. He told them it was inevitable having those two as parents; she was bound to be a very smart mad scientist. Abby had grinned while McGee groaned.

Tony was still with Robin, two years strong now. He knew it was only a matter of time before they were married and started their own family. But Tony was still just Uncle Tony for the time being. He was thriving as head of the team, running a well oiled machine as Gibbs had taught him to do. He headed the top NCIS team in the agency and had well earned respect in many circles, as Gibbs knew he would.

And that left Carter Wentworth. The young man had really matured in the last nine years, becoming quite a stellar agent under Tony's direction. He had met a woman named Sheila, and they had been dating for almost three years now. Gibbs knew there was an office pool on which one would get married first: Tony or Wentworth. Gibbs' money was on Tony.

Gibbs' thoughts were interrupted when he heard his son call to him. Gibbs scooped Taylor up in his left arm, his right arm never regaining the strength to do so, and moved with his son towards their vehicle. After packing the gear in the back and getting the kids situated, Gibbs slid into the driver's seat and started the car.

"Another great game, Buddy," Gibbs said as he maneuvered the car into traffic. His driving habits had mellowed a bit since he had children and the thought made him smile.

"Thanks, Dad. That team isn't very good, just a border line triple A team. But we moved the puck well today," Colton analyzed the game. Gibbs held back a chuckle as it never ceased to amaze him how analytical his son really was. He sounded like a coach not an eight year old playing up a level. "Team played well."

"So did you, how many goals did you have?"

"Five. And I had two assists. It was a pretty good showing. Coach said I played solid."

"You did. Like always."

"Yeah, it's fun. I love hockey, Dad. I love playing."

"I've noticed." Gibbs glanced over to see his son grinning and he grinned in return. Taylor's voice drifted from the back seat.

"Daddy, I'm hungry," she whined slightly. He peeked at her in the rearview mirror before he glanced up the road.

"How bout we stop and get something before we head home?"

"Ok," Taylor replied excitedly.

"As long as we take Mom something," Colton added. Gibbs glanced at his son and nodded.

"Of course, Buddy."

After a quick stop at a burger joint, and four meals ordered later, they made their way home. The kids bounded into the house, the hockey bag being tossed unceremoniously to the side of the entry way, and to the table. They were half way done eating when Kate came in looking exhausted. Gibbs met her in the kitchen doorway, kissing her, before pointing her towards the food on the table.

"Kids got you you're favorite. Might need heated up," Gibbs said softly as Kate nodded. He could tell something was on her mind.

"Thanks, Guys," she mewed softly as she sat down next to Taylor. Gibbs stood in the doorway and watched his family. It never ceased to amaze him how blessed he was in the last nine years. After the food was devoured and the trash cleaned away the four sat at the table discussing their days.

Taylor told her mother about her reading at school, and the other fun projects they did in art class. Colton explained about his boring day at school, but awesome hockey game. Once he hit the narration of the game he was quite animated and both Gibbs and Kate smiled at the boy's antics.

After awhile, the kids retreated to their rooms, leaving Kate and Gibbs alone at the table. Kate was still preoccupied and Gibbs was getting curious. Something was bothering her and he was trying to be patient to wait her out. Usually she came to him when she wanted his input, but tonight she seemed to be keeping to herself.

"Something on your mind?" He asked gently as he took her hand in his. She looked up at him and gave him a small smile.

"Just this case we landed earlier today. Kids involved."

"Want to talk about it?" He knew how these things affected her before she had children, and now after it was even harder on her. Kate was silent a moment before she launched into the case with him. She explained about the murder of a marine family, the sole survivor being a seven year old boy, and how they had worked all day trying to piece together the puzzle. He let her tell her story, never interrupting her once, until she was finished. She looked up at him with sadness in her eyes.

He squeezed her hand before he started to help her work through the evidence they had and work the case. They spent the better part of two hours discussing the case, her fears, and the future of the little boy. Once they were done Kate wrapped her arms around Gibbs and snuggled into his chest.

"Thank you," she mumbled into his shoulder. He stroked her back softly.

"No problem."

They broke apart and went into the basement where Gibbs went to the new boat he was building, and Kate settled into the dusty couch with a book. It wasn't look before they heard small footsteps on the stairs and Gibbs looked up to see Taylor coming down with two dolls and a stuffed monkey. He turned his attention back to the boat as his daughter played happily at her mother's feet. It wasn't another ten minutes before he felt someone by his side.

He looked down to see Colton running his hand along a rib of the infrastructure of the boat. Gibbs reached over and grabbed another sander and handed it to the boy. It still amazed him that Colton could sneak up on him. The two went to work smoothing out the boards as Kate read, and Taylor played.

This was the life Gibbs thought. He never imagined he'd have this again. He never thought he'd be blessed with this much domesticity in his life after Shannon and Kelly were ripped away from him, but here it was, safe and simple. And he wouldn't give it up for anything in the world.


	24. Part XXIV: A Wedding, Family, & a Future

**AN: Wow another chapter so soon. Told you I'd be writing again. No promises that the well will continue to flood, but I'm hoping. Enjoy. dark rolling sea.

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Part XXIV: A Wedding, Family, and a Future

Gibbs stood in his rented tux grinning at a babbling Tony. He checked his watch again and realized that Tony had been babbling nonstop for eight solid minutes now and Gibbs wasn't even sure what the younger man was even talking about. He reached out suddenly and locked a steely grip on Tony's shoulder, startling his once second in command.

"Relax, DiNozzo," he said trying to hold in his chuckle. "Everything is fine."

"Yeah, Boss, yeah," Tony breathed out. Gibbs still smiled as Tony insisted on continuing to call him boss, as he still called McGee probie. Colton burst into the room at that moment tugging at his bowtie whining.

"Dad, this thing sucks," the nine year voiced with a scowl on his face.

"Watch it, Young Man," Gibbs warned before he pulled his son's hands down and straightened the tie. "Got the rings?"

"Yeah, right here," Colton replied as he patted his pocket. "How much longer before this is over?"

"Soon. Go on out and get ready for it to start," Gibbs instructed his boy. Colton made another face before he stomped out of the room. He passed Tim on his way out.

"Hey, McGeek!"

"Hey, Tony. The priest wants to get this started so he sent me in here to get you two."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, coming. Everything look ok, Boss?"

"Yeah, Tony, let's go."

The wedding parade started and Gibbs had to smile when both his children, along with Abby and McGee's oldest daughter were in the wedding. He watched Tony and Robin as the ceremony progressed and knew that they had a fighting chance to make it the long haul and he felt a warmness wrap around his insides. Tony had finally grown up and now they were adding to the family.

After the ceremony, the team retreated to a rented hall to celebrate with Robin's friends. The kids were running around wildly, dancing and laughing. Gibbs sat at a table, his arm wrapped tightly around his wife's waist. Abby and McGee sat across from them, Abby holding baby Josiah Timothy McGee in her arms as she told a story about Tony. Ducky was sitting next to Gibbs, listening patiently for Abby to finish so he could tangent off her story on another story that related to her story in some weird Ducky way. Wentworth and Sheila were between Kate and Abby, laughing at Abby's story and Gibbs couldn't think of a better way to spend an evening.

Gibbs looked up to see Robin and Tony swaying gently on the dance floor with other couples surrounding them as a slow song came to an end. As soon as the last notes faded away a much more upbeat tune blasted through the speakers and the dance floor erupted into a wild melee of rotating bodies. Gibbs drifted his attention to the kids. Colton had Taylor and Kaleigh at a table showing them some sort of magic trick as both girls clapped happily. Kate looked at him and he only smiled before returning his attention to the conversation at hand.

Two days later Kate was in charge of the team as Tony and Robin took off on a honeymoon to the Caribbean, keeping her away from home for a few extended hours. The Gibbs' household managed though, as they always did.

It was only two months later that Kate accepted an invitation to have dinner with the DiNozzo's. When she brought the news home to Gibbs he only smiled. Kate was curious looking at her husband with suspicion.

"What?"

"It's not just dinner, Kate," Gibbs huffed at her.

"What do you mean?"

"They got an announcement to make, you just wait."

"No way," Kate said shaking her head. "Tony was too calm, too casual when he invited us."

"Twenty bucks."

"You're on."

Two nights later the entire team sat in the DiNozzo kitchen sharing laughs and conversation over a delicious chicken dinner. As dessert was served, Gibbs noticed Robin give Tony a look and he smiled. He nudged Kate and gave her his smug smile and then turned his attention back to their hosts.

"We, uh, have an announcement to make," Tony said as a grin split his face. He wrapped his arm around Robin's waist as he continued. "Robin's pregnant, we're having a baby."

A squeal emitted from the other side of the table as Abby bounced to her feet, as the rest of the team voiced congratulatory statements to the couple. Gibbs leaned over and draped an arm over his wife's shoulders and leaned in close to her ear.

"You owe me twenty bucks," he whispered softly then kissed her temple. He felt her elbow connect with his ribs and he only smiled. After a few more hours together the party broke up and Kate and Gibbs headed home.

As they lay in the bed late that night, Kate turned on her side and stared at her husband. Gibbs took her scrutiny and waited for her to break the silence. He was about to give up on her, closing his eyes, when she finally spoke.

"How'd you know?"

"Know what?"

"About Robin and Tony," Kate said slapping him lightly on the shoulder.

"Oh that. Just my gut," Gibbs replied with a shrug of his shoulders.

"Famous Gibbs Gut."

"Infamous," Gibbs corrected earning another light slap.

"I think it's wonderful."

"I'm just glad Tony finally found someone."

"Think Carter is next?"

"Wentworth? He's a career dater but this one might get him."

"Tony was a career dater too, until Robin."

"Yes I realize that. Which is why I think eventually Wentworth will figure it out too."

"Figure what out?"

"When you find the right one? You never let go."

"And you're not letting go?" Kate asked. Gibbs could see the playfulness in her eyes, the smile on her face, but he was serious and he had something to say. Kate must have seen the change in his demeanor. "What?"

"The first time I found the right one I held on tight, but I failed. I lost her and our beautiful daughter. I never thought I'd find it again. I never thought I'd heal and be whole again. I tried, and failed miserably, but it wasn't right, it wasn't the same, so it could never work. But then, then you walked into my life. You gave me two more beautiful children, gave me something to come home to, look forward to, and live for. And, Kate, I don't think you'll ever know how grateful I am for that. I love you."

"I love you too, Jethro," Kate said as she leaned over and kissed him. As they broke apart, Gibbs stroked her face.

"You still owe me twenty bucks," he reiterated with a toothy grin. Kate punched him in the chest before he wrapped her up in his arms. He had meant every word he had just said to Kate and he only hoped she understood the magnitude of what she meant to him.


	25. Part XXV: Past and Present

**AN: I finally figured this chapter out and got it written. This is for meherm I hope it's what you were looking for. enjoy and leave your comments on the way out. thanks. dark rolling sea.

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Part XXV: Past and Present

Gibbs mentally reviewed all that was to happen this weekend, his mind spinning, trying to remember everything that had to be done and not forgetting to do anything. Colton was going on a road trip with his hockey team, Kate was out of town on a case, and Taylor had a soccer tournament. He folded Taylor's uniform and then moved on to his son's hockey bag, quadruple checking the equipment inside the big bag. He couldn't believe how fast time was moving. Colton had just turned twelve and was playing hockey with a U-15 team, Taylor was ten and playing travel soccer at the highest level and Kate was thriving as Tony's second in command.

Later that day after the kids were home from school and fed, Colton's teammate dropped by and Gibbs bid his son farewell and good luck for the weekend. He closed the door and checked his watch before hollering up the stairs.

"Tay, let's get a move on! You're gonna be late if we don't leave now!"

"Comin', Dad!"

Satisfied that his daughter was on the move he grabbed the keys from the table and headed towards the front door. Taylor bounded out ahead of him with her bag on her shoulder and Gibbs pulled the door shut. Once in the car they drove in silence for a while. Gibbs glanced at his daughter, noting the look of deep thought on her face.

"Something on your mind, Taylor?" Gibbs asked softly. Taylor shifted in her seat, glanced at him briefly before shrugging her shoulders slightly. Gibbs knew his daughter and those were signs that something was surely bothering her. He waited her out, but she didn't reply. He tried to mentally review what was going on in her life and didn't come up with anything jarring. "Something wrong at school?"

"No," she mumbled softly as she picked at the car door. Gibbs sighed and ran a hand over the back of his neck. Taylor glanced at him sideways, pursed her lips, and went to say something then stopped. Her gaze returned forward and Gibbs wondered what could be bothering his ten year old so badly.

"You can tell me," Gibbs promoted.

"Later. Ok, Dad? Like tonight or something. Just not now. I gotta concentrate on my game."

Gibbs thought a moment and then decided that he could live with that. They would have the house to themselves this weekend. He pulled into the parking lot and Taylor bolted as soon as the car was in park and Gibbs watched his daughter run to her teammates. He took a spot on the bleachers and settled in for the game.

The game was close and ended with Taylor's team taking the lead in the extra time for a 2-1 final. Gibbs listened as the coach told them when their next tournament game would be and then mentally made note of it. They didn't have to be back to the field until ten in the morning. He could handle that. The ride home was quiet and he could tell that Taylor was working something over in her mind. He was beginning to worry about his daughter and what could be nagging at her so badly. Once they were in the house and a pizza had been ordered-and delivered-they sat quietly at the table.

"What's been bugging you, Honey?" Gibbs asked as he nudged her with an elbow. She looked up at him, twisted her lips to the side and sighed.

"I…" Taylor began but nothing more came out. Gibbs could see the tears building in her eyes and reached his arm out and snaked it around her shoulders, pulling her tightly to his side.

"It's ok, Honey, what's bothering you? You can tell your crazy old dad," Gibbs whispered against the top of her head. She looked up at him and nodded slowly as she pulled back a little. Gibbs kept his arm around her and felt her shifting. She pulled something out of her pocket and slipped it onto the table. Gibbs stared down in shock, forgetting how to breathe.

"I…found this…in the basement…I didn't mean to snoop, I mean I didn't mean to…anyway I found it. That's you," she said pointing to the photo on the table. Gibbs stared down at his first family. They had never discussed it with the kids before. "Who are they?"

Her words broke into his mind and he looked at his daughter. His mind was stuck. Gibbs was unable to form words as memories and emotions jumbled around in his head. Fighting back the urge to run from his daughter he picked up the photograph and stared down at the three smiling faces. He traced first Shannon's face and then Kelly's as his daughter stared at him expectantly. She seemed to understand his need to reminisce before answering her as she waited patiently for him to continue.

"Shannon and Kelly," he said softly.

"But who were they? You look happy."

"I was happy. But I'm happy now too."

"I know. She's my sister, huh," Taylor asked tapping her finger over Kelly's face. Gibbs nodded while blowing out a breath. He then spent an hour and a half telling his daughter about her older sister and his first wife. When he was through he looked at his daughter and smiled.

"How come you never told us about them?" Taylor asked after he was finished. He took in a deep breath.

"I don't know. I guess I was waiting until it was the right time. It's not something that is easy for me to talk about."

"Momma knows?"

"Yes. I told her very early in our relationship."

"Did you tell her…or did she find out like this?" Taylor asked looking up at her father.

"Like this," Gibbs replied with a smile. "She found a box of pictures in my closest and went through them. I walked into the room while she was doing it and knew it was time I had to tell her."

"Why keep them hidden, Dad?"

"The pain, Honey; the pain that still hurts from not protecting them."

"It's ok, Dad, to miss them. We understand," Taylor replied and Gibbs couldn't help the tears that fell down his cheeks. She was well beyond her years in that moment and he gave into the urge to pull her tight and hug her. When he released her she pulled back and stood from the table. "Let's watch a movie."

After the movie was done and Taylor was in bed Gibbs pulled his cell phone from his pocket and called Kate. He hadn't talked to her all day and he missed her. He waited patiently as the phone rang in his ear until she picked up.

"It's me," Gibbs said before she could even utter a greeting.

"Hey. Sorry I meant to call it's just been," Kate was saying.

"Crazy. I remember how it can get."

"Thanks for the break. How are things?"

"I talked to Colton. They won the first two games today and have two more tomorrow before the finals on Sunday. And Taylor won her game as well. She plays again tomorrow morning."

"You sound tired."

"I am," he admitted as he closed his eyes. "I had a very exhausting conversation with Taylor today."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. She found a picture in the basement."

"Of what?"

"Shannon and Kelly," Gibbs breathed out.

"Oh. What did you tell her?"

Gibbs gave Kate the abbreviated version of his talk with Taylor. They then spent a half hour discussing her reaction and how Gibbs felt about all of it. When he hung up he felt better. He tried to find sleep but even as exhausted as he was he couldn't will his mind to shut off.

Getting up from the bed, Gibbs made his way down the hallway to Taylor's door. Keeping the hall light off, he pushed it open slightly and watched her sleep. His listened to her deep even breathing and leaned his head against the door jamb.

He stayed there for almost twenty minutes as he ran memories through his mind of both his daughters and realized just how alike they really were. He sighed and turned, heading back to his own room. Climbing into the empty bed he soon found sleep.


End file.
